The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The Toronto Maple Leafs Edition

Here I am only 5 teams into this and I'm feeling the heat. And by heat I mean futility. This is hard work, dissecting these losing teams and coming up with some advice that will never be used by the team in question. I sometimes wonder how Scott Cullen at TSN is able to do this, especially when he tries to factor in statistics like 'points allowed when Patrick Kane is on the Ice' aka PAPKI. Then I remember he's getting paid to write and has many hours to sit at his desk and surf all the relevant websites to find evidence to back up his decisions. I also realize that the further up the points chain I go, the dissection will be easier. Chicago should be nothing more than a simple three word entry; 'All Good here'.  But then I have to find the pictures which is really half the fun but also where the real work happens.

On the other hand I have a job that allows me to write when all is quiet because technically I'm not allowed to sleep on shift.

So speaking of going to sleep, let's talk about TSN's favourite team to hate; The Toronto Maple Leafs!

Retro Post from June 11, 2013

There's probably no greater sadness that hits a writer right in the feelsies when something he/she wrote is gone forever into obscure recycling piles or crashed hard drives or poor memory keeping (Filmbin 1.2, anyone? Anyone?). 

I once lost an amazing fake Danny Boyle interview in the trenches of another website's submissions pile and have been pining for it ever since. Realizing that I have no idea what may happen in the world of Internet, I am on a small mission to reclaim all my posts that have been published on other sites. If you've already read these, thanks! If not, enjoy them for the first time!

-ogie

Original site; http://whatculture.com/sport/nhl-the-stanley-cup-and-then-there-were-two.php

Let’s face it, if you are reading this it’s because you have lost the feed on the football channel, you live in the top half of North America or at the very least have a fond appreciation for a game that draws the distinction between fighting and just roughing (roughing is when you keep your gloves on). But for you football fanatics that may have accidentally clicked here, I promise to throw in some football-related trivia later on.

If you are new to the sport of hockey, you could not have picked a better time to start watching the streaming live feeds out of Russia or the Canadian broadcasting company (CBC.ca). The best four games out of seven Stanley Cup Championship featuring the Chicago Blackhawks and the Boston Bruins begins June 12 and this series will make every other game you watch from now on pale in comparison, like having high speed internet compared to a 28.8 dial up modem.

After a hardly-grueling 1/2 season marred by the owners not letting the players start until after the Superbowl was over in a strategic (and lame) cost-cutting measure, a couple of unusual winning streaks and some high profile movement at the trade deadline the race to the Stanley Cup playoffs was it’s usual superficially hyped up event as sports reporters from around Toronto and Vancouver clamored to speculate which 16 of the 30 teams would make it into the playoffs to face their respective teams in the finals. Vancouver found it would take them only the minimum 4 games to stop that dream from happening and break out their golf clubs (as all hockey playoff games are best of sevens for maximum suspense and ticket sales).

This is not the place to bore you with the details of the failed March to the Cup by various teams but what the heck, you are here now anyways so here’s a couple of highlights from the two teams that are still going at it.

In the Eastern Conference there was drama; the Toronto Maple Leafs had the most epic collapse since Mali scored 4 goals in the final 11 minutes to tie Angola in the Africa Cup of Nations tournament in 2010 or Manchester or Liverpool scoring three goals in seven minutes to tie AC Milan in the Champions League Final in 2005 (you’re welcome, footballers).

Clawing their way back from a 3 games to 1 deficit, Toronto was poised to make their way in the second round with a commanding 3 goal lead with 10 minutes left to play in the decisive game 7.  Just over 30 minutes later, the Boston Bruins completed their comeback and sent the Maple Leafs packing and crying back to Canada. Here’s the raw drama of that final 30 minutes condensed nicely into a 3 minute video. It’s funny because it’s so sad…

Then there was the break-out of Old-time Canadian hockey featuring two Canadian hockey teams, the Montreal Canadiens and the Ottawa Senators. This is the type of hockey nobody wants to see which is why this face-breaking hit was replayed repeatedly until something better came along, which was these few minutes of pure awesomeness a couple games later.

In the Western Conference Chicago did it’s usual winning thing in it’s division. Yet they had their fair share of drama as well, giving the Detroit Red Wing faithful the finger as they clawed their way back from a similar 3 games to 1 disadvantage only to win the game 2x in the deciding game 7 after their first game winner with less than 2 minutes left was disallowed due to a public mugging going on of a Chicago player at the Detroit bench. They went on to score again in overtime, defeat last year’s champions the LA Kings and do it decisively in only 5 games.

Now, after three playoff rounds, the Bruins and the Blackhawks are the only two teams left skating. Both teams are equal in stature, beards and all-star goal-tending. Boston does have the giant Slovak Zdeno Chara on their team while Chicago has the seldom played semi-psychotic Dan Carcillo who could bite out Chara’s innards if need be.

If you have yet to see what all the fuss is about in North America and those northern European countries, now is the time to do it.

What's a Deadline and the NHL's Atlantic Division

Holy Crap, like a Tie Domi elbow, the hockey season is already here and hitting us in the face! It took exactly one night for the TSN panel to have something to get excited about; George Parros getting knocked out during a fight (albeit in an unexpected way). You could almost feel the excitement in the TSN station as every video editor rushed to find similar fight clips that ended with someone literally going 'lights out' to end a fight to incorporate into the usual discussion that does nothing but eat up precious minutes as everybody says 'debate' a lot but nobody ever takes the anti-fighting stance. What we need is a good Piers Morgan, Alex Jones debate, then that will make for some good television. 

As is, there is no debate over fighting if nobody is willing to step up and say 'You're wrong and I'm right'. Not to name-drop but TSN's James Duthie even tweeted me telling me to listen more carefully when i asked him the same thing. He came off as bit of a jerk about it, but maybe I'm being too sensitive. Apparently Stevie Y (Tampa Bay), Jim Rutherford (Carolina), Ray Shero (Pittsburgh) and Scotty Bowman (retired) are on the anti-fighting side but looking at their teams, I can see why they don't want fighting. 

Lost in the Opening Night Parros highlight; Grabvoski tweeting Toronto coach Randy Caryle after his hat trick to thank him for not seeing his true potential and giving him the opportunity to go somewhere and actually score some goals. 

Anyways, a quick look at the Teams as the season's underway.

The Winners and Losers of Draft Weekend in the NHL

Let's get the obvious out of the way; if you live in Canada and stayed home to comment or provide in-depth coverage of the NHL draft via twitter on the Canada Day long weekend instead of going camping or dredging out your basement if you live in Calgary you have bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Things are happening outside right now.

The only thing sadder than watching CTV News anchor report on whatever is going on with Justin Bieber would be a grown man who actually takes an active interest in the future employment opportunities of teenagers that have been groomed since birth to get paid way too much money to either shoot a puck or stop it. I defy any NHL prospect to actually admit that they dream of going right to one of the bottom feeders of the NHL, which is what makes the whole circus so funny. The top 50 players in the junior leagues are all but guaranteed huge contracts just by being picked by any of the 30 teams - and their signing bonus will most likely equal a year of your salary - but hey, that's hockey life - it doesn't mean we have to support it.

But, that being said...

Retro Post; The Greatest Canuck Stanley Cup Run

Ahhh, Vancouver.  If Montreal is to the NHL what the Yankees are to MLB, then Vancouver Canucks are the NFL's Buffalo Bills.  They've been to the Big Show three times, only to each time come away empty.  Unless you happen to be in downtown Vancouver after the final game, then you are probably coming away with quite a few things unpaid for.

While 1983 was perhaps an anomaly in that nobody truly expected the Canucks to defeat the 2x defending champion New York Islanders (yes, you read that right), 1994 was the year when believers were made.  A strong core of forwards led by Pavel Bure, Trevor Linden, and Gino Odjick. Jyrki Lumme, Dave Babych and Dana Murzyn on defence and the last of the great stand up goaltenders in Kirk McLean, before everybody started adopting the Patrick Roy butterfly followed by hip surgery in your 30's style.  The Canucks provided an amazing playoff run full of drama, emotion and continuous highlight reel moments, courtesy of Pavel Bure. While the 2011 Canucks had the diving, the biting, the LUongoing nothing can beat 1994's team for sheer Hollywood drama.

First the dramatics of the come from behind 1st round seven game defeat of the Calgary Flames after being behind 3 games to 1 in the series, featuring Kirk McLean in 'The Save'

which led to the perhaps the biggest moment in Canuck playoff history up to that time, Pavel Bure and 'The Goal';

My Opinion Matters, but It Doesn't: NHL Playoff headlines 2

PLAYOFF HEADLINES

SHARKS SWEEP CANUCKS; CHRISTY CLARK BLAMES DIX AND NDP

at least you can tell she shoots to the right

After the provincial favourite Vancouver Canucks were swept in four straight games by the San Jose Sharks BC Premier Christy Clark was quick to lay blame at the feet of NDP leader Adrian Dix.

"This is a direct result of the NDP and their leadership under Adrian Dix. If you elect me premier, I promise you the Vancouver Canucks will once again be Stanley Cup champions." said Clark through various social media channels and her blog. "If I could I would introduce back-to-work legislation on the two teams but I have been informed I can't, due to Adrian Dix and the NDP party."

I don't know what's going on but this is all DIX fault!"

When it was pointed out she was already Premier and the Canucks had never been Stanley Cup champions, Clark appeared dazed and confused, much like Roberto Luongo the day after the trade deadline.

My Opinion Matters, but It Doesn't: NHL Playoff headlines

So, it's the first couple of days of the NHL playoffs, our annual Spring rite that indirectly gives men in Canada the right to grow a beard until their favourite team loses. Which is why I always cheer for the Stanley Cup winning team. Yet, I can't grow a beard. Strange custom, but we Canadians are always looking for a reason not to shave.

beard growing may be our only similarity

Already a few things have happened in the last 48 hours which chip away at my resolve to watch the playoffs. I'm not a 100% all or nothing hockey fan, but i am Canadian. Work, family and chores take up a large chunk of my time and so when i have the few minutes to 'zone in' to a game I appreciate it.  That said, here are some observations of the little hockey i have watched;

Let's call this....

PLAYOFF HEADLINES

YES, WE KNOW.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS IN PLAYOFFS 1ST TIME IN 9 YEARS!

Holy shit, who doesn't know that already? I watched the 3rd period of their 1st game loss against Boston and heard it at least three times, saw it as a graphic twice and then heard it two more times that night on TSN Sportsdesk (without watching the mandatory 'what went wrong' special Leaf supplement they run). And I'm not even watching that much hockey right now.

If you are just tuning into the NHL (which you aren't because you are reading this)  there is no way you can escape this fact. I mean, I didn't even watch any of the pre-game, post-game, most-of-the-game and hockey highlight packages that all indubitably made mention of this. We get it, Toronto has sucked for a decade and now the team is better than the Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Carolina Hurricanes and a few other eastern teams so sucky I can't be bothered to remember their names.
Reminding the viewers that Toronto hasn't played a playoff game in 9 years is like telling us the sky is still blue, America has guns and Nazis were bad, bad people. And after that 1st game showing, they still haven't played a playoff game.  Booyah!

NHL Playoffs 2013 - The Eastern teams (aka the runner uppers)

Give me my precioussssss, wraith riderrrr. 

Finally, after nearly three minutes of highlight worthy drama, the compacted season has ended for most teams quite early in the East, especially down in Florida where it ended back on the 2nd week of the truncated NHL season.  Yet, due to Owner flunky and league commissioner Gary Bettman the entire Southwestern division still had to play out the year to give hockey and Winnipeg Jet fans the chance to see if Coach Claude Noel could usurp John Tortorella as the NHL's worst interview.

Here are some completely uneducated and unfounded playoff predictions for the 1st round eastern match ups.

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins 

scarf optional

Analyzing the team - they are runaway favourite to come in 2nd for the Stanley Cup. Are known for having the second least intimidating team name after the Ducks and stocked up an already pretty stacked team with some character players at the deadline.

Come on, we dare you...

Analyzing the team name- the penguins are large, flightless, clumsy-moving birds that live in desolation and isolation in an inhospitable environment, so...Pittsburgh. They are known for their inability to take a puck to the teeth.

VS

#8 New York Islanders

Analyzing the team - Wait? What? The islanders are in the playoffs? How did that happen you ask? Remember the Southeast division? This is what happens.  Blame GARY BETTMAN.  The fact that they are in the playoffs makes a mockery of all that Rick DiPietro, Alexi Yashin, Mike Milbury and Charles Wang have worked years to destroy.

To be fair, the Islander management did get something right

Analyzing the team name - Another team based on their geographical location and which will seem utterly stupid next year when they move from Manhattan Island inland to Brooklyn. Thankfully, they are not the first team to suffer like this, as basketball's LA Lakers were originally named for the lakes of Minnesota before their move, NFL's Phoenix Cardinals shared the name of the state bird of the MLB's St. Louis Cardinals and  the Montreal Canadiens were once named for the amount of Canadiens on their team.


Playoff Prediction; This is the type of series that every Penguin lover sees as proof almighty that they were meant to win the Cup. For the Islanders, this series just reminds them that they have a lot of work still ahead of them to be considered contenders.  Penguins in four straight.

Bizarro NHL Notes

Random Notes on Another Week in the NHL 

BOBROVSKY!

BOBROVSKY! - Columbus's goaltender posted another shut out on Tuesday night, a 4-0 blanking of the San Jose Sharks.  This makes BOBROVSKY!s fourth shut-out, which ties him for the Columbus Blue Jackets shut out record, sharing it with all the other franchise goaltenders combined since their inclusion into the league in the year 2000, when nobody thought we would live past Y2K anyways.

Nobody was more relieved that James Reimer when
the two finally embraced and admitted their true feelings
to each other. Meanwhile, play continued.

As of today, April 10th, with less than 10 games remaining for most teams, the New York Islanders and Toronto Maple Leafs both are currently in the playoffs, which is causing Toronto sports shows call-in phone lines to go berserk in trying to have someone get Gary Bettman to have the playoffs start on Friday.

Ray Emery at work.

Ray Emery is currently 15-1 with 3 shut outs, which makes him only the 2nd best goaltender on the Chicago Black Hawks.

Alex Ovechkin has returned to form, which is scoring goals and is currently tied for the league lead with other Southeast division hotshot, Stephen Stamkos of Tampa Bay. Apparently it just took this long to get rid of Dale Hunter's influence on OV and for Coach Adam Oates (of Hull & Oates fame) to put him on the opposite wing, which is apparently causing havoc for goaltenders used to him shooting from only one side of the ice.

this photo captures the very last second John Tavares won anything
meaningful and his life was full of optimism. 

Speaking of goal scorers, the guy in 3rd place plays for another low expectations team called the New York Islanders (John Tavares). The highest goal scorer in the west comes from the LA Kings (Jeff Carter) and 7 of the top 10 are from the eastern conference with 2 Chicagoites, Toews and Kane filling it up for the west, which really tells us nothing about what it takes to be an elite goal scorer nowadays.

This has nothing to do with hockey.
It is a picture of the Canadian Prime Minister's cat, which i happen to think is
pretty awesome that it has more fans than me. 

The 2013 NHL Trade Deadline Recap (for realsies too)

so much hockey bullshit to feast on...

After a testosterone-laden 8 hours, the NHL trade deadline has passed with only one surprise to me; that  an old-fashioned real trade that could easily be emulated in certain hockey pools run by competent, efficient team managers that understand it takes something to get something. Unfortunately, I'm not in one of those types of pools so i will just have to sit back and wait for Edmonton to return to it's former glory.
Thankfully, Columbus and the New York Rangers did something that made waiting 6 hours for TSN updates worth it.

It was a busy morning as sports anchors and analysts tried to look busy in finding something to say about the deadline, as per annual tradition and it wasn't until near the end of the day that things apparently heated up. By then, GM's finally had responded to all their emails that had accumulated from various opinionated arm-chair coaches and did their thing.

Here's my few worthy observations;

Biggest Surprise of the Day; Marian Gaborik would waive his no-trade clause to go to Columbus
Maybe he just doesn't know where Columbus is (technically, neither do I) but it's a good fit; Gaborik can go score goals somewhere nobody has heard of him and Columbus gets that potential goal scorer to replace Rick Nash. Plus, Columbus is doing surprisingly okay this year with Bobrovsky in net, making Steve Mason expendable, which i will get to later.

Memories from a Saturday Night Hockey Night

Wow, it's been awhile since i've watched some hockey on Saturday night.  I caught 1/2 of the Montreal-Pittsburgh game when it was already 4-2, which in today's NHL is considered a high-scoring game. I figured that was it for scoring but apparently nobody told the goalies that. Montreal scored 2 before the period was out, making it 4-4 by the end of the 2nd period. Hey, a game that involves scoring!

Then Montreal scores to take the lead at the start of the 3rd period and the Montreal drunken faithful start singing that Ole, ole, ole chant with about 15 minutes left in the game which is a) pretty cocky and b) pretty stupid. Sure, maybe if that made it a 3 goal lead but the way these goalies were playing it was pretty premature. Plus, it's Montreal; no game is a sure win for them since 1977.

Sure enough Pittsburgh scores then there are some more goals and then I see...him; WTF! - Thomas Kaberle is playing for Montreal? He's been on more teams in the last three years than Michel Petit. Yeah, I WENT THERE. I thought Kabs retired after he won a Stanley Cup with Boston carrying Zdeno Chara's hockey sticks into the dressing room. Yet, seeing him reminded me of a hockey souvenir shop i went to in Parry Sound, birthplace of Bobby Orr and coincidentally also home of the Bobby Orr Hall of Fame and Museum.

So I'm walking around the small town center and duck into this little curio shop full of sorts of stuff and there, hanging from a rafter are three hockey pictures. There is a framed picture of Bobby, at a cost of $75.  There is also a picture of Mario Lemieux for the same price. Which is fine, both hall-of-famers, both retired. But then, right between these 2 superstars of the game is a picture of Thomas Kaberle as a Toronto Maple Leaf.  For some reason, this picture was, you guessed it: $75.

$75 with frame? Sold!

$75 with frame? Sold!

                                                                                                         

$75 with a free trip to Disneyland? ...uh..
I'll get back to you.

To give you an idea how preposterous this was, here are the three individual stats for these guys:

The toughest Montreal Canadien in the past 10 years

So an odd thing happened at a Montreal hockey game this week...a Canadiens player stood up for himself.

Ryan White pulled a Dan Carcillo in last night's game against Buffalo and in particular Steve Ott, for what really was a pretty light hip check. My grandma has bumped into me harder than that. Yet Ryan White didn't get the memo about 'playing smart' and jumped Ott, resulting in a double minor and nearly cost Montreal the game. This was White's second trip onto the coach's shitlist in the last week for stupid penalties so I think he's going to be watching a few from the press box for the next week.

However, after this I began thinking of all the tough Montreal Canadians that have pummeled the crap out of opponents in the last decade. This is all that i could come up with;

Reasons why i love hockey pools #22

My first hockey pool was about seven years ago, right after the previous lock out.  I had lost interest in hockey right after the first lock out and the introduction of the neutral zone trap.  i gathered bits of what was going on here and there; Messier was signed to Vancouver, Detroit was always a great team, New Jersey was destroying the way the game should be played, Toronto still was mentioned to be a contender without everyone starting to laugh.  Then apparently Messier went back to the Rangers and the Canucks started getting good. They had a top -scoring line in bertuzzi, naslund, and morrison.  Somehow they were contenders again but as per most teams in the league, (99% of them) failed to win the Stanley Cup and Vancouver media and fans blamed it, as per usual, on goaltending. Potvin, Cloutier, and most recently Luongo all seemed to get more scorn than praise despite the whole 'we win as a team, we lose as a team' concept.  


I digress.  A friend got me to join a dynasty hockey pool for 5 years.  it was fun.  Met guys of like mind online and basically formed a relationship of mutual msg board insults and bad trades as we bickered over who should retire, who did retire and if someone should really openly support the Maple Leafs.  It was fun.  Got me back into hockey, but the format of hockey pools doesn't really allow for a specific team as you are cheering on specific players.  I don't give a shit if Vancouver beat San Jose as long as Joe Thornton (a guy i've tried numerous times to trade w/ no bites) gets me 4 assists and perhaps a 10 minute misconduct.


Plus, the msg boards allows me to practice my banter, which primarily involves making fun of others who thankfully, all have a good sense of humor.  And are bald, but that go-to cop out is just lazy insult writing. It helped me get back into writing, if not Hemingway, at least something.  It is a nice distraction, a few minutes a day from kids, chores and other grown up stuff.
So, if you made it this far, here's my first attempt at rekindling the fire that made me want to watch NHL highlights.  Maybe it will work again this year...

So, if you made it this far, here's my first attempt at rekindling the fire that made me want to watch NHL highlights.  Maybe it will work again this year...

I am currently proud of this little gem to start the hockey pool season in my latest dynasty league in which i sort of defend the newest guy from the commissioner of the league, who had to replace a team who dropped out over the summer after 2 years and basically no interest in insulting or trading anybody for i can only assume personal reasons,like he just never stayed interested in hockey.    

Interestingly, this was the way Richard Brodeur
requested a water bottle from the bench

To My Fellow Poolies; 

we all apologize on jeremy's attempt at either humor or insulting your mom.  it's hard to tell what jer's intention is half the time which is why he makes so many trips to thailand by himself to 'explore his options'.  it's rumored his mom dropped him on his head when he was still in the womb, multiple times. 



She used to like going bump-bump-bump down the stairs in an effort to get jeremy out of the womb as he had been in there for 14 months already and unfortunately his older brother is tyler who has trouble formatting cohesive paragraphs so you might say it's hereditary.  Tyler is easy to spot because he puts an * by his team name so that whenever you see it, you think 'asshole'.

i think we will make more fun of you once we see what type of lame ass trade by tyler you fall for or great trade you offer me.  But if you are from kelowna, chances are that you probably don't know what you are doing and will just stock up on goaltenders while cheering for the canucks because that is who everybody else cheers for and you find it impossible to have an opinion of your own without asking the waitress at the local sports bar you attend cuz she's like, really into old dudes who know who Tony Tanti is.

welcome to the big leagues, King B.  I remembered you fondly.

A Vancouver and Columbus win-win situation?

In hindsight, the PA announcer shouldn't have
 started playing "Riot" by Three Days Grace.

First off, on behalf of all of the province of Vancouver I apologize for the lackluster effort put forth by the Canucks in refusing to win 16 straight games to win their first Stanley Cup for the third time.  We can only blame Roberto Luongo for so long  for failing to win the cup in 012, 94, or 82 where i heard he actually didn't even watch one game of the FINALS because he was busy playing with his GI Joe action figures. 

Not saying that Canuck fans are still feeling burned by last year's debacle, but I'd go so far as to suggest that as you read this, someone is working on building a time machine to go back to 1978 and shout 'Luongo sucks' at his parents as they were copulating so that he would never grow up to become a professional goaltender, thereby not disappointing the entire Canuck nation by not stopping each and every goddamn puck that was sent his way by someone in a Boston Bruin sweater.

In all reality i would have nothing against Luongo if he played on any team but the Canucks however let's face it, Vancouver is like the Toronto Maple Leafs of goaltending.  It's where good goaltenders go get verbally assaulted by scrawny or overweight sports reporters that are breathing heavily just holding their microphones up. Vancouver is a black hole that sucks up talent and morale and leaves an empty husk of a man; it is the Jennifer Lopez of NHL cities.

But it's summer and the only hockey news right now is when and where is Luongo going to take the remaining decade of his luuuu-crative contract.  Some dreamers (read Torontonians) want him to don the blue and white so that they could find out if it's theoretically possible for someone to have two assholes torn into them by their rabid fans. I have on good authority that Luongo is hoping to be moved somewhere where he's not expected to have a .990 save percentage, cure leprosy and personally escort every fan to their seat before the game so hello...    

Florida. Considered a favourite for no other reason than that's where his wife is from and nobody will know him. Toronto is considered a favourite because that's where Brian Burke is and Vancouver desperately wants to pay them back for that whole Mats Sundin thing. Plus, Toronto fans mistakenly believe everybody wants to play for them despite the one glaring fact they then would be playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs.  

So while Cory Schneider gleefully wrings his hands at being given the opportunity to crack under pressure once Luongo leaves, all i can say is that i don't blame the guy. I mean after all, he won 75% of his games last year against sub .500 teams. And he very nearly won 2 whole games against the eventual Stanley Cup winning LA Kings. Plus this year he will find out who the hell this Jason Garrison guy is that everyone is talking about. 

We all know goals wins games so in a perfect and sane hockey world (usually only found in my hockey pool), Roberto Luongo goes to Columbus for Rick Nash. Columbus gets a decent goalie that most of Ohio will have no expectations of and Nash gets to play for a team that already has at least 6 other scapegoats to blame when they don't win the cup again next year. It's a win-win.

In unrelated news, Canada's social health care system breathed a sigh of relief in hearing that Sami Salo has decided to head to Tampa Bay to join their IR list.