It's starting to feel a lot like...something.

 

It's been awhile. 

I've been busy. Busy being a father, a dad, a renovator, a learn-as-you-goer, teacher's assistant, dog-walker, home-maker, etc etc. with little time for writing. I'm only here because I am on a sick day from work with it's own weird little backstory behind that which I won't get into. 

I did Nanowrimo, which is a writing challenge held in November in which you try to type 50,000 words. I cut out an hour a day and my family let me with little to no distractions. I used that to edit a 1st draft I have let simmer for many months. It's a murder mystery thing; someone's killing pedophiles and it's done in three different points of views; a step away from my preferred Karmageddon world building. 

It's a challenge in itself and I'm only like... 1/2 way done, even with Nanowrimo. And CoVid. 

According to Worldometer.info, here are the latest stats worldwide; . 1,665, 000 deaths (about 3% of those who officially contracted it). In Canada there were 13, 865 deaths. They don't give out an age breakdown but that can be found with a little digging; last I checked, 96% were people over 80. 

Yep, CoVid is still the thing. There are too many conspiracy theories to count and, depending on who you ask, faith in our leadership is plummeting. We have small owner-operated restaurants forced to close while McDonald's has their best sales ever. You can't have a wedding with more than 20 people (depending on where you are) yet Home Depot and Walmart are fine. You can't work out at a gym or have dinner with more than 4-6-10 family members but you can go into any store that is open as long as you wear a mask. 

Masks are mostly mandatory the world over yet nobody mentions the mask-makers as part of any conspiracy. That's left to Big Pharma, two of whom have announced vaccines immediately after the US election win of Joe Biden over Donald Trump. And socialists; that one is fun. While the stock markets show huge gains (keeping the rich richer), somehow this is all a conspiracty for a great economic reset where everyone will get a (gasp) basic universal income. 

As back when this first started, nobody really rich or famous has died. Tom Hanks was one of the first to get it and that would have been a game changer. But he was fine. As was Justin Trudeau's wife, Boris Johnson (UK premier), P!nk, Trump ('cured' over a weekend), a ton of other White House high-ups in his cabinet, Prince Charles. 

I had my own theory at one time (writer brain kicking in) that this was a War of The Worlds/Invasion of the Body Snatchers thing where those who die are pod people, advance forces for alien overlords. It's not sensitive to those who have lost someone but we all have to try and make sense of all this in our own ways. If that involves me coming up with a Killer Alien Virus theory to explain why I can't watch my daughter play ringette, so be it. 

Mostly, those who died have been old and with weakened immune systems. I went for a walk awhile ago and had this minor epipheny of how this is a Boomer reaction to the approaching of Death, as futile as it may be to fight it, they're going to try. It's backfired a little, such as so many have had to die alone, their families unable to hold their hands one last time, in fear of infection. When we, as a society, placed our elders in care homes, paid other people to care for them then get angry that they are dieing in these places we have put them, who really is to blame?   

So we have people shouting online to wear your masks and other people shouting it makes no difference. In my province, nearly all the deaths were in long-term care homes (which are like bus stations for funeral homes). We have a 50 person cap on a hockey arena that sits 3000 and a 2 person cap in public restrooms. 

We have this 'front-line workers are the real heroe' memes going around yet many of those are the cashiers who are keeping the economy running. There has been no mention of Big Banks or credit cards doing anything other than lip service to everyone falling deeper in debt. I don't know how that will play out but in the meantime, we try to keep as normal as possible. 

Yet on my end, things are actually quite stable. We both kept our jobs; I caught up on a lot of side-projects such as building a front walkway, building a fence, bartering my labour from that to a 14ft aluminum boat and a utility trailer (which I then rebuilt). We resided our house, finally losing the avocado green aluminum siding and replaced 8 windows. Then to top it off, we have a new(er) truck, one that can actually tow the utility trailer! So yeah, sorry society is in the crapper and our alien overlords are about to run the show but I'm doing pretty darn good.

 

Now if I can only get a book deal. 

 

The Best Decade in Movies; the 80s (in progress, likely not going to finish)

The Best Decade in Movies; the Eighties

The Greatest Decade Movies; the 80′s.

The eighties. Most of you probably weren’t even born yet. Those that were old enough to remember the eighties may also remember the world-wide controversy that broke out during this seminal decade. No, I’m not talking about AIDS. No, not talking about David Lee Roth being kicked out of Van Halen. I’m talking about the technological controversy of the century; Beta or VHS?

Most of you should know the answer to this if you ever looked in your grandparents’ entertainment cabinet. VHS won the battle but ultimately not the war as VHS tapes multiplied like tribbles throughout the 80′s and 90′s before slowly finding themselves being herded into the 8-track section of your local pawn shop or yard sale cardboard box.

Yet the eighties could arguably be considered pop culture cinema’s greatest decade. From the teen angst of John Hughes’ works to the high gore, multiple entries of the Freddy and Jason slasher flicks to the pumped-up action figures of Sly Stallone and Arnie Schwarznegger the eighties had it all. It was so cool that Robert Downey Jr. was in it, that’s how cool it was.

But for cinephiles and the point of this article, I present Must See 25 great and influential movies of the 80′s.

25 Airplane! (1980)

Sadly, Airplane! and it’s non-stop barrage of jokes has been dumbed down over the years, evolving into the sad, sad ‘spoof’ industry. Where Airplane! succeeded is it took a little-known airplane disaster movie (1957′s Zero Hour) and used that as the blueprint for their own movie by borrowing plot and characters (in a way). By spoofing the trend of disaster movies rather than specific movies it made a household name out of Leslie ‘don’t call me shirley’ Nielson, and a hundred other jokes. For better or worse (worse) Airplane! is what created the crapfest that is Epic Movie, Scary Movie 2-ongoing, The Farrelly Brothers, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie, the 41 year old virgin who knocked up Sarah Marshall…etc, etc. etc.

Timeless Quote;

Strike; “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

Rumack; ‘I’m always serious. And don’t call me Shirley.’

24 Die Hard (1988)

Now at sequel #5 and counting, Die Hard revolutionized the action picture by breaking the mold of the eighties bulging biceps action heroes into the much more everyday wisecracking figure of Bruce Willis who successfully jumped out of America’s TV sets into the big screen. If you don’t know this movie, you can just go to WhatCulture’s Die Hard page and feel vast amounts of shame.

Timeless Quote; “Yippee kay yay, mother f@#%er.”

23 Princess Bride (1987)

Princess Bride made a (bigger) star out of one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, Andre the Giant. Finally able to hone his cinematic acting chops, his reputation as one of the nicest people in the world played up to his character of Fezzik. Directed by Rob Reiner (who went against typecast and created the greatest trilogy of differing genre films in Princess Bride, Misery and A Few Good Men) it promised a story about true love, pirates, sword fights and monsters and delivered. One of the best 'sick in bed' movies ever.

Timeless Quote; “My name is Indigo Montaya. you killed my father. prepare to die.”

22 Tron (1982)

Before CGI, there was Tron. It was one of the first movies to acknowledge this whole computer ‘fad’ as perhaps being more than just a bunch of kids goofing off. By using state of the day special effects during a time that depended less on CGI and more on people’s abilities to create sets and uniforms that were thought to be logically what an inside of a computer would look like.

Timeless Quote; N/A but there is this awesome invention that has since came true; the light bike.

21 Robocop (1987)

Before drones, there was Robocop. Half man, half machine, all cop.

20 Friday the 13th (1980)

Do I need even to recap this series? You know that there has been over 10 movies made with Jason right? All of them made money. ‘Nuff said.

Timeless Quote; “ch-ch-ch-ch  kill-kill-kill-kill”

19 Purple Rain (1984)

If you thought Madonna’s ego was big, (it is), Prince’s semi-autobiographical tale hit the public at the right time, unlike his other film projects. The album remains one of the top best sellers of the eighties and despite it’s unmemorable plot line… Prince sings, rides a motorbike, and talks dirty to Nikki and dry humps a speaker. There’s something in there about a rival slick band that is the basis of a little fun for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back…so there’s that.

Timeless Quote; ’It’s Maurice Day and the Time! oh ee oh ee oh.

18 Heathers (1988)

Before Mean Girls, there was Heathers. It made stars out of Christian Slater and Winona Ryder.

17 Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Wes Craven’s break out horror flick of Freddie, the serial killer with the knife gloves that killed while you slept. Freddie went on to become one of the go-to’s of Halloween costume parties and nearly single-handedly brought back the fedora.

Timeless Quote; ”one, two Freddie’s coming for you, three/four better shut the door…”

16 Highlander (1986)

Throughout history there has been a select group of Immortals that occasionally bump into each other and engage in the ultimate elimination match to achieve…I don’t know…being the only Immortal? But it has Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert and his trademark voice that he has made a decent B movie career out of.

Timeless Quote; "Hey, is that Sean Connery?”

15 BladeRunner

Timeless Quote;

14 Big Trouble in Little China

Timeless Quote;

13 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Timeless Quote;

12 Terminator

Timeless Quote;

11 Karate Kid

Timeless Quote;

10 The Shining

Timeless Quote; “Here’s Johnnnnnnieee!”

9 Gremlins

Timeless Quote;

8 Goonies

Timeless Shuffle; The Chunk Shuffle

7 Ghostbusters

Timeless Quote; “Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”

6 ET

Timeless Quote; “ET phone home.”

5 Raiders of the Lost Ark

Timeless Quote; “Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?”

4 Red Dawn

Timeless Quote; ”WOLVERINES!”

3 Back to the Future

Timeless Quote; “Hello? McFly?”

2 Empire Strikes Back

Timeless Quote; ”Luke, I am your father.”

1 The Breakfast Club

Timeless Quote; hey hey hey hey! Don’t you….forget about me…

Day 10 of Societal Isolation

Current method of Social Isolation.

I don't know if I am embarrassed on behalf of humanity or proud. On one hand, our ability to mass implode as a civilization is unprecedented. I had the feeling this shit was getting real when Starbucks started offering only Drive-Thru service. We nearly shut down Starbucks!

Then it got stupid(er) when they shut down our 8 acre neighbourhood dog park, which I've never seen more than 10 people in on a good day, due to the COVID19!!! It's a goddamn 8 acre park that dogs poop in during the winter and kid leagues play soccer and T-Ball in during April and May.

Keep in mind that I live in a community of about 1000 people. There are more people that walk on the streets than go into this park. I mean, if we are following this current thought, why aren't the mailboxes taped off? There's at least 50 boxes that can be infected with COVID19!!!

But that is what this has come to. I'm tired of saying it's the flu, yes, it's highly contagious. It kills off the old and weak, Yes, that sucks. But that's what flus have always done. Yes, I understand that people are dying. That's nature. We don't live forever.

And until the rich and famous start dying off, in other words, those that can afford health care, then I'm not really worried about it.

At least, physically. Mentally, I'm drained. I'm trying to live in a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' world but everyone else is making it tough. We need t-shirts to differentiate us, to help us remind each other that we're not alone in thinking we're over-reacting. We need to Keep on Keepin' On.

Economically, I'm okay with my 2 weeks emergency funds and our 'Essential Services' jobs. I'm not like a lot of others out there. Thankfully, being perpetually poor prepared me really well for doing limited things on limited funds. I even might splurge this weekend and go for a non-essential drive what with gas at 94.9 cents (British Columbia, represent). That represents a savings of nearly 30 cents/litre in less than a month. How are the oil companies surviving?

And let's not talk about the credit card companies, who have been pretty silent on their whole 'we are still charging you 20% interest on any charges you incur.'

I am reminded of the saying "There is nothing to Fear but Fear Itself" and as a society, we are doing a bang-up job of living in fear. It will be a strange world to come back to, especially economically. Will our standard of living go down? Will there be a new iPhone release for this year? Where will ex-Prince Harry and Markie live? 

Self-quarantine Day 4

Day #4 of the national self-quarantine aka Spring Break 2020. 

While I jest, this is where we are at. I don't know if things would be much different for us to be honest. The kids are doing what they are doing; nothing different from their previous school holidays, barring the fact my daughter's Stay At Home class was cancelled and, as of yesterday, so are our weekly firehall practice.

We are still planning to go into town today; my oldest 2 have a bowling date with Grampa, who is willing to risk the chance of infection to spend some time with the kids.

I bought my oldest a bass; today I plan to go into pawn shops to see if I can find a cheap amp. My daughter is missing a sketch book so we will buy another one. My youngest is happy that his leprecaun trap has netted four hats and golden chocolate bar.

Still off Facebook, and now Yahoo is starting to send me emails about it; Greg shared this, Ken shared that...

I'm reading Stephen King's On Writing and Wings of Fire, recommended by my daughter. It's a fairly straight forward dystopian rebellion tale, but with dragon/insects. It's not very subtle. For example, the bad guys are wasps and when the protagonists are deciding where to find the Rebellion, they have a choice between Yellowjacket Hive, Bloodworm Hive or Jewel Hive. Not hard to guess where they're going.

But she's reading and I love her and I will finish it. As per King's On Writing; Reading bad writing makes you more aware of your own bad writing. I'm not saying Wings of Fire is bad; it's meant for a particular audience.

Nobody died last night from CoronaVirus, keeping the Canadian death toll at 4 in a population of 38 million people. We talked a little at the dinner table with the kids. They seem mostly oblivious however the older one isn't saying much.

Emotion is Contagious (this didn't age well)

So I'm wrong but will keep this up for some humble pie.

Aug 15, update; there are over 174,000 dead in US (#1) and 9000 in Canada (#24)

Conspiracies are all the rage right now, masks are semi-voluntary, the US election is nowhere near the same amount of hype/hysteria as it was 4 years ago so at least we have that going for us. 

PANDEMIC!

Coronavirus is all the news nowadays. As far as I'm concerned it's a variation of the flu and I fear that I am the only one who remembers the media panic of SARS, the bird flu, avian flu, ebola and flesh-eating disease that ran their course over the last two decades.

Emotion is contagious; if one of us laughs, others laugh. That is why comedies feel so much funnier in theaters; stand-up comedy is done in front of an audience instead of one by one. Funerals are where people gather to feel sad. We avoid funerals so we don't feel sad(der).
Weddings make us happy. Winning as a group, losing as a group, it makes us feel emotions that are increased by the amount of people we are sharing that emotion with.

This is the basis of mob mentality; our emotions, heightened by others, make us do things that we would not otherwise do as individuals.

And the current emotion running through society is fear, pushed by social media and a large international organization called WHO.

Beware of Coronavirus.

For some reason, this is worse than all the others most of us have lived through before. And because we are now a world that thrives on fear, we relish the opportunity to do what we are told because of flu epidemic that hit a country on the other side of the globe

We are flourishing on fear, our leaders are showing each other what we are made of. And this is what we have shown;

All international travel is highly discouraged.
If you do travel, you are to self-quarantine yourself for two weeks before returning to your employment. Nobody will check up on this - you are to police yourself. WE are counting on you to be honest about your travels.
All events or gatherings of more than 250 people is forbidden.
That means ALL sports, from the NHL to the local ringette end-of-season dinner has been postponed/cancelled.
School districts are shutting down despite no children having been diagnosed.
Churches are closing their doors (read that one again and note the hypocrisy)
St. Paddy day parades cancelled!
There is an increasing push to create work-from-home scenarios so people don't have to go into work.
There is a big public information push to wash your hands.
There is an unfathomable, unexplainable rush on toilet paper.
Athletes are offering to pay the wages of stadium employees who would otherwise be serving over-priced food and beverages to their fans.
Big businesses are spamming emails, declaring how they 'are navigating' this pandemic which has KILLED 62 people in the US (of 331 million) and 1 person in Canada (of 37 million). Yes, it will be more but that's it as of March 15th, 2020.

To date, according to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ there have been 6000 deaths world-wide. 76,000 have recovered. The breakdwown of the age of fatalities is broken down on this page; https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/ . According to CNN, the average age is 80. No child has died from coronavirus.

There are over 7.7 billion people in the world.

7.7 billion.

Do the math. This is not a pandemic; this is nature. Sickness kills off the old and the weak. It is nothing personal, it's saying your time is up. Time to move over, shuffle off this mortal coil, face the music, pay your tab, check your balance, meet your maker, etc. etc. etc.

Yet here we are. Two weeks into March. The Apocalypse is upon us.

I have logged off Facebook. I found it to be part of the problem instead of part of the solution. 

I am sure there are sane people among us; plenty in health care. Yet our self-isolation cuts away that sense of group rationality. FB does the same. Funny memes or videos on Toilet paper mobs do nothing buy hype the situation, only help stoke the flames of fear. We have been told to self-quarantine and so most of us will. We are obedient sheep and all it took was a little snowball to create this avalanche of fear. Much like AIDS, SARS, Bird flu, swine flu etc.

I am old enough to remember this situation playing out so many times before. News clips of everyone wearing face masks, nobody in our social circle having any personal experience of said deadly disease and then we continued on as if it never happened.

The difference this time is how influential social media has become; it not only pushes the snowball but creates more of them. It is our most trusted news source.

And this is the Catch 22 of our times; the argument will be that thanks to these restrictions, the pandemic never happened. If we didn't have these restrictions, we'd have deaths in the millions. We can't prove that wouldn't happen as we are not given the opportunity.

It's like saying those day-glow head-to-toe uniforms traffic control people wear keep them safer as opposed to only wearing a day-glow jacket. You can't argue with safety.

Group mentality wins out. Nobody is brave enough to call bullshit because YOU ARE THREATENING SOMEONE'S LIFE!

Yet, if Death is going to happen, it's going to happen. Your time is up; be it from an elderly driver behind the wheel, cardiac arrest, ski jump, or a 7 year old with a runny nose.

Yet here we are. 1 person dead in Canada has ground near everything to a halt except the Internet.

I especially love that the Houses of God are encouraging their parishioners not to gather there. There's a huge irony in that.

Good luck, everyone.