The Other Off-Season Game Plan - The Philadelphia Flyers Edition

In which Scott Cullen, TSN, stats blablahblah

The Philly Flyers. One of the most legendary teams in NHL history (who, much like the topic of banning fighting) resurfaces once every 10 years to play in (and lose) the Stanley Cup Finals. Since their loss in 2010 to that weird Patrick Kane goal that nobody but Kaner knew about, it's been all downhill from there. Perhaps it was Craig Berube's coaching strategy but this is a team that underachieved this year. Don't look for it to happen again.Unless their new coach turns out to be the Barry Melrose of 2015.

The good news? As patterns go, the Flyers hit the bottom of their decade cycle and they are climbing back to the top! Just as soon as they figure out how to do that.

Winners of the 2014 NHL Draft now that nobody cares...

Winners:

#1 The Philadelphia Flyer fans.

It's amazing to me that thousands of Philadelphia fans showed up at the Spectrum (is it still called that?) to watch a bunch of grown men basically play the real version of a fantasy hockey draft. But then I heard what they did during roll call and I thought 'That's fuckin' Awesome.' Thank you, Philly fans for what I hope is going to be a yearly tradition because if there is anything that yells out SUCKS more than 24 hours of dedicated TSN coverage, its the NHL entry draft.


#2 Mickael Grabvoski 

I admit i have a soft spot for the guy - he was a steady contributor in my own dynasty fantasy pool up until he was moved to a defensive role thanks to Randy Caryle (SUCKS). Getting out of Toronto was great, the 1st game hat trick with Washington led to some hopeful thoughts of years past production but he wasn't able to put up Ovie-like numbers (35 points in 58 games) as the 3rd, sometimes 2nd line center.

Yet he did well enough to earn a $2 million dollar raise in the eyes of the New York Islanders who see the potential in the fighting Finn. Or Russian. Anyways, Behind Tavares and Nilson and on a team that threatened to make Islander jokes a thing of the past, he should make a decent fit in a team that desperately needs to remember they used to be a Dynasty. Speaking of other teams that really under-performed last season...

Who has been the Most Supportive Team in Regards to NHL Player Salaries?

In every league there is that one team that pisses you off because they keep poaching the top talent which in theory is supposed to make them winners; the New York Yankees were the poster child for this theory of Talent+Money=Winning. Of course, there are a lot of other teams that have failed in this model, mainly because they tend to stick with the 'franchise player' idea, in which you pay 1 player an insane amount of money to produce wins and while it has proven to perhaps increase your winning percentage a little, it doesn't necessarily equate to championships.

The idea of the salary cap is to make a competitive team on the ice and in the owner's bank account. And while there have been some instances where a GM appears to have been sniffing glue at that one particular moment in time when they fill in the 'yearly salary' blank on a player's contract, most teams are learning that they can't just ride the back of one player to the Stanley Cup. Well, except for Philadelphia who has had a decades long history of raising the bar in terms of player salaries.

Did you know Chris Gratton once made $10 million a year? (1996-97) Which was $4 million a year more than Wayne Gretzky was making at the time?

Of course, it helps that he signed in Philadelphia, who has continually shown over the years that their ownership has no concept of money, says Chris Pronger, Ilya Bryzgalov, Danny Briere, Mike Richards, Eric Lindros, Shea Weber - all people who have profited immensely by being on Philadelphia's 'no price is too much' bargaining strategy. By trying to buy talent not only do the Flyers put a 'price' on a player, the rest of the players use that as a comparison to what they should get paid. When Gretzky saw what he was being compared to, he retired rather than be the guy that was being paid less than Keith Tkachuk, who is a great player, loved the guy but he's not all-time scoring leader.


Basically, the Philadelphia Offer Sheet is every Restricted Free Agents Holy Grail as proven time and time again when it comes to the off season.

Seriously, who the fuck was Chris Gratton?

Other notable observations taken from Wikipedia's top 5 NHL salaries by year...

2014 Hockey Playoffs - The Year of Iggy

We get it, you're Canadian. You're bummed out because your name is Greg and the Montreal Canadians are the only Canadian team to make the playoffs and you know that you will have to suffer the pain of defeat eventually. You will have to maintain a sliver of hope that the Habs will overcome being the Habs but deep in your heart you know you are destined for heartbreak, as if you were no better than a Canuck fan.

To make matters worse, if the NHL had kept their same format as last year all the other Canadian teams still wouldn't have made the playoffs.

So to everyone besides Greg, let's just forget that we have any type of local geographic or childhood allegiance to our sports teams and let's pick another team to pin all your hopes and dreams on as you avoid all other issues in my life. So for that, let's pick the Boston Bruins, President's Cup winners, all-star and Theon Greyjoy look-a-like Tukka Rask in net and Alberta's other favourite son, Jarome Iginla, on a quest to cap off his career with the Stanley Cup.

One is Lilly Allen's brother, the other is
named Tuukka. 

   
Someone (@ionthesparrow12) has already done a lot of the grunt work for you by making this handy flowchart, making it easier to make that selection;

But Ogie is here to review our 1st round match-ups and boldly predict what everyone else already predicts...

NHL Marketing Changing Team's Colours. Chaos to follow for sports commentators.

A new proto-type graphic for next year's NHL;

Like it? GARY BETTMAN thinks you will!

So, you know that saying 'Don't Mess With A Good Thing'? Apparently neither does the NHL marketing department, led by GARY BETTMAN. Next year could see the classic red uniforms of the Detroit Red Wings and the orange of the Philadelphia Flyers 'swapped' for divisional rivals St. Louis Blues and Boston Bruins, respectively. I don't get those rivalries, but I don't get anything about the NHL these days... Pictures after the break.

The NHL Free Agent Frenzy is Neither Free nor a Frenzy...

Thanks to GARY BETTMAN, there has been literally no time for Patrick Kane to sober up long enough to realize it's now July.  Head off the heels of the NHL delivering one of the best Stanley Cup series since 2010, a span of THREE long years TSN (Toronto's Sports Network) jumped right into Draft Day mode and barely having time to take down those Nathan McKinnon pin-ups hockey analysts now are getting all us worked up over this year's free agent frenzy, which for some reason is 2 days this year instead of 1? I'm not sure i understood that but...whatever keeps us tuned in and away from CFL news.

Random Notes because fuck it, it's summer;

Is it really a Frenzy or 'Say Who Now?' - When TSN is saying that David Clarkson is one of the biggest names to hit free agency this year it makes me wonder 1) who is David Clarkson and 2) what is TSN's criteria for 'biggest' names?
10 players living in fear they may have to rent out their pool house next year to afford payments on their summer homes had more points than David Clarkson, including Mike Ribeiro who had 49 points to Clarkson's 24...just saying. Iginla is sitting at #6, behind Ribeiro.

The Winners and Losers of Draft Weekend in the NHL

Let's get the obvious out of the way; if you live in Canada and stayed home to comment or provide in-depth coverage of the NHL draft via twitter on the Canada Day long weekend instead of going camping or dredging out your basement if you live in Calgary you have bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Things are happening outside right now.

The only thing sadder than watching CTV News anchor report on whatever is going on with Justin Bieber would be a grown man who actually takes an active interest in the future employment opportunities of teenagers that have been groomed since birth to get paid way too much money to either shoot a puck or stop it. I defy any NHL prospect to actually admit that they dream of going right to one of the bottom feeders of the NHL, which is what makes the whole circus so funny. The top 50 players in the junior leagues are all but guaranteed huge contracts just by being picked by any of the 30 teams - and their signing bonus will most likely equal a year of your salary - but hey, that's hockey life - it doesn't mean we have to support it.

But, that being said...

The Other NHL Awards

The Others Awards budget is pretty, pretty tight thanks to
GARY BETTMAN

It's that time of the year again, where we all get distracted by the confusing scheduling of the NHL Awards and Ceremonies right at the height of the Stanley Cup Finals. While most leagues prefer to wait until after the ceremonial booing of the commissioner, the NHL says 'Bullshit' to that idea and instead hosts a highly visual and star-struck affair (if one considers current and former hockey players stars) in the heart of the Stanley Cup Finals because that will probably be the last time anyone really cares about hockey until July 1st.

So while the NHL vets itself and it's players, placing a little extra weight on stupid reporter questions about what winning an award means to the two involved that are still competing for the biggest award in pro sports (Jonathon Toews and Patrice Bergeron), let's take a look at some other not-so-popular awards that will be handed out in the back alley behind a dumpster to homeless people on the morning of the Awards.


The Best Name in Hockey Award Goes To;  Johnny Oduya, Chicago Blackhawks. 

Runner Ups, Johnny Boychuk (Boston Bruins), Brooks Orpik (Pittsburgh Penguins)

His family, friends, coaches and teammates just call him '14'

With a name like 'Johnny' where else can you be still taken seriously but in hockey?

While Boychuk got points for being able to substitute boychuk woodchuck in the ancient tongue twister:
 'how much boys could a boy chuck chuck if a boy chuck could chuck boys?'
Oduya's last name is so phonetically great as it's own comeback that it takes my pick for name of the year.
'I think I will just go around this Chicago defenseman here who isn't Keith or Seabrook.'
'Oduya.'
'Oh, I do all right. Just watch me.'

Honorable Mention to Brooks Orpik, named after legendary USA coach Herb Brooks, which sadly shows that here was a boy who had no choice in life but to play hockey to please his hockey-loving father.

The 2013 NHL Trade Deadline Recap (for realsies too)

so much hockey bullshit to feast on...

After a testosterone-laden 8 hours, the NHL trade deadline has passed with only one surprise to me; that  an old-fashioned real trade that could easily be emulated in certain hockey pools run by competent, efficient team managers that understand it takes something to get something. Unfortunately, I'm not in one of those types of pools so i will just have to sit back and wait for Edmonton to return to it's former glory.
Thankfully, Columbus and the New York Rangers did something that made waiting 6 hours for TSN updates worth it.

It was a busy morning as sports anchors and analysts tried to look busy in finding something to say about the deadline, as per annual tradition and it wasn't until near the end of the day that things apparently heated up. By then, GM's finally had responded to all their emails that had accumulated from various opinionated arm-chair coaches and did their thing.

Here's my few worthy observations;

Biggest Surprise of the Day; Marian Gaborik would waive his no-trade clause to go to Columbus
Maybe he just doesn't know where Columbus is (technically, neither do I) but it's a good fit; Gaborik can go score goals somewhere nobody has heard of him and Columbus gets that potential goal scorer to replace Rick Nash. Plus, Columbus is doing surprisingly okay this year with Bobrovsky in net, making Steve Mason expendable, which i will get to later.