The Final Four 2014

After a rousing, self-esteem building 7 of 8 correct playoff predictions, Ogie found himself a little sadder this evening, despite going 3 for 4 in the semi-finals. Not Teemu Selanne sad or even Milan Lucic 'I'm going to Kill You' sad. Just... more grounded. Maybe because I'm not a betting man but I would have made some pretty good coin in Vegas this year. It's just that Ogie's go-to contender Eastern contender the Bruins, and therefore Jarome Iginla, are out. In the West, the Ducks succumbed to the charismatic Darryl Sutter-led LA Kings. So no Stanley Cup being handed off to either Iginla or Selanne one last time as they fade out into hockey hall of fame sunset, which would have made for a nice 'Ray Bourque crying' 15 years later retrospective on TSN.

So the final four comes down to 'Conspiracy Alley'. Perhaps the four biggest hockey markets in all of NHL-land - New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Canada. True, Canada  would have been there anyways but now, to the chagrin of most of English-speaking Canada, the Montreal Canadians are in the mix.

But yeaaaaa NHL public relations! We'll skip over the plethora of conspiracy theories out there. And by out there I mean on my notepad by the TV. Let's skip that LA goal that moved them past a stunned but consistently disappointing Joe Thornton-led San Jose Sharks. These anonymous refs that either let them play like they are in the 80's again or make them play like they are in the regular season again. I'm lucky to remember that in the 80-90's Hockey Referee Hall of Fame (if there is such a thing) legends Andy Van Hellemond, Bruce Hood, Terry Gregson, and even Kerry 'hair-helmet' Fraser wouldn't even bring their whistle out of the dressing room after the 2nd period intermission.  Man... those were the days...

But that's neither here nor there. Here is the Final Four! There is the golf course and summer cottages that so many NHL'rs now have to suffer in as these Final Four teams vy for Ogie's glory.

2014 Hockey Playoffs - The Year of Iggy

We get it, you're Canadian. You're bummed out because your name is Greg and the Montreal Canadians are the only Canadian team to make the playoffs and you know that you will have to suffer the pain of defeat eventually. You will have to maintain a sliver of hope that the Habs will overcome being the Habs but deep in your heart you know you are destined for heartbreak, as if you were no better than a Canuck fan.

To make matters worse, if the NHL had kept their same format as last year all the other Canadian teams still wouldn't have made the playoffs.

So to everyone besides Greg, let's just forget that we have any type of local geographic or childhood allegiance to our sports teams and let's pick another team to pin all your hopes and dreams on as you avoid all other issues in my life. So for that, let's pick the Boston Bruins, President's Cup winners, all-star and Theon Greyjoy look-a-like Tukka Rask in net and Alberta's other favourite son, Jarome Iginla, on a quest to cap off his career with the Stanley Cup.

One is Lilly Allen's brother, the other is
named Tuukka. 

   
Someone (@ionthesparrow12) has already done a lot of the grunt work for you by making this handy flowchart, making it easier to make that selection;

But Ogie is here to review our 1st round match-ups and boldly predict what everyone else already predicts...

Retro Post from June 11, 2013

There's probably no greater sadness that hits a writer right in the feelsies when something he/she wrote is gone forever into obscure recycling piles or crashed hard drives or poor memory keeping (Filmbin 1.2, anyone? Anyone?). 

I once lost an amazing fake Danny Boyle interview in the trenches of another website's submissions pile and have been pining for it ever since. Realizing that I have no idea what may happen in the world of Internet, I am on a small mission to reclaim all my posts that have been published on other sites. If you've already read these, thanks! If not, enjoy them for the first time!

-ogie

Original site; http://whatculture.com/sport/nhl-the-stanley-cup-and-then-there-were-two.php

Let’s face it, if you are reading this it’s because you have lost the feed on the football channel, you live in the top half of North America or at the very least have a fond appreciation for a game that draws the distinction between fighting and just roughing (roughing is when you keep your gloves on). But for you football fanatics that may have accidentally clicked here, I promise to throw in some football-related trivia later on.

If you are new to the sport of hockey, you could not have picked a better time to start watching the streaming live feeds out of Russia or the Canadian broadcasting company (CBC.ca). The best four games out of seven Stanley Cup Championship featuring the Chicago Blackhawks and the Boston Bruins begins June 12 and this series will make every other game you watch from now on pale in comparison, like having high speed internet compared to a 28.8 dial up modem.

After a hardly-grueling 1/2 season marred by the owners not letting the players start until after the Superbowl was over in a strategic (and lame) cost-cutting measure, a couple of unusual winning streaks and some high profile movement at the trade deadline the race to the Stanley Cup playoffs was it’s usual superficially hyped up event as sports reporters from around Toronto and Vancouver clamored to speculate which 16 of the 30 teams would make it into the playoffs to face their respective teams in the finals. Vancouver found it would take them only the minimum 4 games to stop that dream from happening and break out their golf clubs (as all hockey playoff games are best of sevens for maximum suspense and ticket sales).

This is not the place to bore you with the details of the failed March to the Cup by various teams but what the heck, you are here now anyways so here’s a couple of highlights from the two teams that are still going at it.

In the Eastern Conference there was drama; the Toronto Maple Leafs had the most epic collapse since Mali scored 4 goals in the final 11 minutes to tie Angola in the Africa Cup of Nations tournament in 2010 or Manchester or Liverpool scoring three goals in seven minutes to tie AC Milan in the Champions League Final in 2005 (you’re welcome, footballers).

Clawing their way back from a 3 games to 1 deficit, Toronto was poised to make their way in the second round with a commanding 3 goal lead with 10 minutes left to play in the decisive game 7.  Just over 30 minutes later, the Boston Bruins completed their comeback and sent the Maple Leafs packing and crying back to Canada. Here’s the raw drama of that final 30 minutes condensed nicely into a 3 minute video. It’s funny because it’s so sad…

Then there was the break-out of Old-time Canadian hockey featuring two Canadian hockey teams, the Montreal Canadiens and the Ottawa Senators. This is the type of hockey nobody wants to see which is why this face-breaking hit was replayed repeatedly until something better came along, which was these few minutes of pure awesomeness a couple games later.

In the Western Conference Chicago did it’s usual winning thing in it’s division. Yet they had their fair share of drama as well, giving the Detroit Red Wing faithful the finger as they clawed their way back from a similar 3 games to 1 disadvantage only to win the game 2x in the deciding game 7 after their first game winner with less than 2 minutes left was disallowed due to a public mugging going on of a Chicago player at the Detroit bench. They went on to score again in overtime, defeat last year’s champions the LA Kings and do it decisively in only 5 games.

Now, after three playoff rounds, the Bruins and the Blackhawks are the only two teams left skating. Both teams are equal in stature, beards and all-star goal-tending. Boston does have the giant Slovak Zdeno Chara on their team while Chicago has the seldom played semi-psychotic Dan Carcillo who could bite out Chara’s innards if need be.

If you have yet to see what all the fuss is about in North America and those northern European countries, now is the time to do it.

What's a Deadline and the NHL's Atlantic Division

Holy Crap, like a Tie Domi elbow, the hockey season is already here and hitting us in the face! It took exactly one night for the TSN panel to have something to get excited about; George Parros getting knocked out during a fight (albeit in an unexpected way). You could almost feel the excitement in the TSN station as every video editor rushed to find similar fight clips that ended with someone literally going 'lights out' to end a fight to incorporate into the usual discussion that does nothing but eat up precious minutes as everybody says 'debate' a lot but nobody ever takes the anti-fighting stance. What we need is a good Piers Morgan, Alex Jones debate, then that will make for some good television. 

As is, there is no debate over fighting if nobody is willing to step up and say 'You're wrong and I'm right'. Not to name-drop but TSN's James Duthie even tweeted me telling me to listen more carefully when i asked him the same thing. He came off as bit of a jerk about it, but maybe I'm being too sensitive. Apparently Stevie Y (Tampa Bay), Jim Rutherford (Carolina), Ray Shero (Pittsburgh) and Scotty Bowman (retired) are on the anti-fighting side but looking at their teams, I can see why they don't want fighting. 

Lost in the Opening Night Parros highlight; Grabvoski tweeting Toronto coach Randy Caryle after his hat trick to thank him for not seeing his true potential and giving him the opportunity to go somewhere and actually score some goals. 

Anyways, a quick look at the Teams as the season's underway.

The NHL Free Agent Frenzy is Neither Free nor a Frenzy...

Thanks to GARY BETTMAN, there has been literally no time for Patrick Kane to sober up long enough to realize it's now July.  Head off the heels of the NHL delivering one of the best Stanley Cup series since 2010, a span of THREE long years TSN (Toronto's Sports Network) jumped right into Draft Day mode and barely having time to take down those Nathan McKinnon pin-ups hockey analysts now are getting all us worked up over this year's free agent frenzy, which for some reason is 2 days this year instead of 1? I'm not sure i understood that but...whatever keeps us tuned in and away from CFL news.

Random Notes because fuck it, it's summer;

Is it really a Frenzy or 'Say Who Now?' - When TSN is saying that David Clarkson is one of the biggest names to hit free agency this year it makes me wonder 1) who is David Clarkson and 2) what is TSN's criteria for 'biggest' names?
10 players living in fear they may have to rent out their pool house next year to afford payments on their summer homes had more points than David Clarkson, including Mike Ribeiro who had 49 points to Clarkson's 24...just saying. Iginla is sitting at #6, behind Ribeiro.

My Opinion Matters, but It Doesn't: NHL Playoff headlines 2

PLAYOFF HEADLINES

SHARKS SWEEP CANUCKS; CHRISTY CLARK BLAMES DIX AND NDP

at least you can tell she shoots to the right

After the provincial favourite Vancouver Canucks were swept in four straight games by the San Jose Sharks BC Premier Christy Clark was quick to lay blame at the feet of NDP leader Adrian Dix.

"This is a direct result of the NDP and their leadership under Adrian Dix. If you elect me premier, I promise you the Vancouver Canucks will once again be Stanley Cup champions." said Clark through various social media channels and her blog. "If I could I would introduce back-to-work legislation on the two teams but I have been informed I can't, due to Adrian Dix and the NDP party."

I don't know what's going on but this is all DIX fault!"

When it was pointed out she was already Premier and the Canucks had never been Stanley Cup champions, Clark appeared dazed and confused, much like Roberto Luongo the day after the trade deadline.

My Opinion Matters, but It Doesn't: NHL Playoff headlines

So, it's the first couple of days of the NHL playoffs, our annual Spring rite that indirectly gives men in Canada the right to grow a beard until their favourite team loses. Which is why I always cheer for the Stanley Cup winning team. Yet, I can't grow a beard. Strange custom, but we Canadians are always looking for a reason not to shave.

beard growing may be our only similarity

Already a few things have happened in the last 48 hours which chip away at my resolve to watch the playoffs. I'm not a 100% all or nothing hockey fan, but i am Canadian. Work, family and chores take up a large chunk of my time and so when i have the few minutes to 'zone in' to a game I appreciate it.  That said, here are some observations of the little hockey i have watched;

Let's call this....

PLAYOFF HEADLINES

YES, WE KNOW.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS IN PLAYOFFS 1ST TIME IN 9 YEARS!

Holy shit, who doesn't know that already? I watched the 3rd period of their 1st game loss against Boston and heard it at least three times, saw it as a graphic twice and then heard it two more times that night on TSN Sportsdesk (without watching the mandatory 'what went wrong' special Leaf supplement they run). And I'm not even watching that much hockey right now.

If you are just tuning into the NHL (which you aren't because you are reading this)  there is no way you can escape this fact. I mean, I didn't even watch any of the pre-game, post-game, most-of-the-game and hockey highlight packages that all indubitably made mention of this. We get it, Toronto has sucked for a decade and now the team is better than the Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Carolina Hurricanes and a few other eastern teams so sucky I can't be bothered to remember their names.
Reminding the viewers that Toronto hasn't played a playoff game in 9 years is like telling us the sky is still blue, America has guns and Nazis were bad, bad people. And after that 1st game showing, they still haven't played a playoff game.  Booyah!

NHL Playoffs 2013 - The Eastern teams (aka the runner uppers)

Give me my precioussssss, wraith riderrrr. 

Finally, after nearly three minutes of highlight worthy drama, the compacted season has ended for most teams quite early in the East, especially down in Florida where it ended back on the 2nd week of the truncated NHL season.  Yet, due to Owner flunky and league commissioner Gary Bettman the entire Southwestern division still had to play out the year to give hockey and Winnipeg Jet fans the chance to see if Coach Claude Noel could usurp John Tortorella as the NHL's worst interview.

Here are some completely uneducated and unfounded playoff predictions for the 1st round eastern match ups.

#1 Pittsburgh Penguins 

scarf optional

Analyzing the team - they are runaway favourite to come in 2nd for the Stanley Cup. Are known for having the second least intimidating team name after the Ducks and stocked up an already pretty stacked team with some character players at the deadline.

Come on, we dare you...

Analyzing the team name- the penguins are large, flightless, clumsy-moving birds that live in desolation and isolation in an inhospitable environment, so...Pittsburgh. They are known for their inability to take a puck to the teeth.

VS

#8 New York Islanders

Analyzing the team - Wait? What? The islanders are in the playoffs? How did that happen you ask? Remember the Southeast division? This is what happens.  Blame GARY BETTMAN.  The fact that they are in the playoffs makes a mockery of all that Rick DiPietro, Alexi Yashin, Mike Milbury and Charles Wang have worked years to destroy.

To be fair, the Islander management did get something right

Analyzing the team name - Another team based on their geographical location and which will seem utterly stupid next year when they move from Manhattan Island inland to Brooklyn. Thankfully, they are not the first team to suffer like this, as basketball's LA Lakers were originally named for the lakes of Minnesota before their move, NFL's Phoenix Cardinals shared the name of the state bird of the MLB's St. Louis Cardinals and  the Montreal Canadiens were once named for the amount of Canadiens on their team.


Playoff Prediction; This is the type of series that every Penguin lover sees as proof almighty that they were meant to win the Cup. For the Islanders, this series just reminds them that they have a lot of work still ahead of them to be considered contenders.  Penguins in four straight.

Memories from a Saturday Night Hockey Night

Wow, it's been awhile since i've watched some hockey on Saturday night.  I caught 1/2 of the Montreal-Pittsburgh game when it was already 4-2, which in today's NHL is considered a high-scoring game. I figured that was it for scoring but apparently nobody told the goalies that. Montreal scored 2 before the period was out, making it 4-4 by the end of the 2nd period. Hey, a game that involves scoring!

Then Montreal scores to take the lead at the start of the 3rd period and the Montreal drunken faithful start singing that Ole, ole, ole chant with about 15 minutes left in the game which is a) pretty cocky and b) pretty stupid. Sure, maybe if that made it a 3 goal lead but the way these goalies were playing it was pretty premature. Plus, it's Montreal; no game is a sure win for them since 1977.

Sure enough Pittsburgh scores then there are some more goals and then I see...him; WTF! - Thomas Kaberle is playing for Montreal? He's been on more teams in the last three years than Michel Petit. Yeah, I WENT THERE. I thought Kabs retired after he won a Stanley Cup with Boston carrying Zdeno Chara's hockey sticks into the dressing room. Yet, seeing him reminded me of a hockey souvenir shop i went to in Parry Sound, birthplace of Bobby Orr and coincidentally also home of the Bobby Orr Hall of Fame and Museum.

So I'm walking around the small town center and duck into this little curio shop full of sorts of stuff and there, hanging from a rafter are three hockey pictures. There is a framed picture of Bobby, at a cost of $75.  There is also a picture of Mario Lemieux for the same price. Which is fine, both hall-of-famers, both retired. But then, right between these 2 superstars of the game is a picture of Thomas Kaberle as a Toronto Maple Leaf.  For some reason, this picture was, you guessed it: $75.

$75 with frame? Sold!

$75 with frame? Sold!

                                                                                                         

$75 with a free trip to Disneyland? ...uh..
I'll get back to you.

To give you an idea how preposterous this was, here are the three individual stats for these guys:

The toughest Montreal Canadien in the past 10 years

So an odd thing happened at a Montreal hockey game this week...a Canadiens player stood up for himself.

Ryan White pulled a Dan Carcillo in last night's game against Buffalo and in particular Steve Ott, for what really was a pretty light hip check. My grandma has bumped into me harder than that. Yet Ryan White didn't get the memo about 'playing smart' and jumped Ott, resulting in a double minor and nearly cost Montreal the game. This was White's second trip onto the coach's shitlist in the last week for stupid penalties so I think he's going to be watching a few from the press box for the next week.

However, after this I began thinking of all the tough Montreal Canadians that have pummeled the crap out of opponents in the last decade. This is all that i could come up with;

Great Hockey Riots #8

#8 - Montreal Riots of 2010 vs Pittsburgh 2nd round

Ahhh, Montreal.  Did you not learn anything from 2008?  To riot after winning an emotional seven game first round win over a historical rival is one thing but then to repeat it again a mere two years later?  Over opponents that you have no historical rivalry with?  

That was the case in 2010 when herds of Habitants(?) celebrated their long awaited (two years) run to the Stanley Cup by rioting again.  This time, they made it past the second round AND they still didn't make it to the Finals.  It's almost as if Montreal has forgotten what the point of rioting is; to celebrate a massive achievement (or failure; see Great Hockey Riots/Vancouver) not to celebrate basically making it halfway to the goal line. It's like celebrating Christmas in June.  Sure, the motions can be the same, but everyone knows it's not the real thing.



Final Score; 41 arrested; a province once again embarrassed.  Montreal goes on to lose decisively to Philadelphia 4 games to 1 in the Eastern Finals and thereby ends a nine decade record of winning the cup at least once every 10 years, which is a lame fact i know but I will put it out there.  Also there's this;

Great Hockey Riots #10

#10- Montreal Riot of 2008 beat Boston Bruins/ 1st round

Montreal, the most exotic city in all of North America.  The heart of Quebec province in Canada, it's poutine-bloated inhabitants love two things; hating English people and their hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens.  The Canadiens were once to hockey what the New York Yankees continue to be to baseball; storied champions of their respective leagues.
At one time, Montreal and the Yankees were neck and neck regarding championships;  The Yankees continue to dominate, now having won 27 World Series championships and continue to be a year in, year out dominant force in major league baseball while Montreal continues to be just barely in Canada.  The last time the Canadiens won their 24th Stanley Cup, Bill Clinton was President, Windows 3 was introduced and Jurassic Park was the last time anyone paid to see Jeff Goldblum be Jeff Goldblum.  

"This is the pre-riot riot.  The real riot starts in an hour."

Now, the best way to summarize the NHL playoffs, which basically is an entire 2nd season is this; after a grueling 82 game schedule half the teams make the playoffs.  A team, once qualifying for the playoffs, needs to win 16 games against 4 opponents in series lasting seven games.  The least amount of games a team would play is 16, the most 28.  It's a long pro-acted affair that manages to hold all of Canada's (and whichever American teams that don't get eliminated attention).  It's like the American election only it doesn't happen every four years - it happens every year (in theory).      

Yet in 2008, there was a glimmer of hope besides Obama.  The Canadians had finally returned to the Big Dance, and their first opponent was their historical arch nemesis, the Boston Bruins.

The Canadiens won the series (4 games to 3) and to the Montreal riot faithful, it was as good as a championship.  And what better way for nostalgic Montreal fans to celebrate not only their long history of championship hockey and rioting by having a riot?

Sixteen police cars were destroyed, nearly equal that to the Bandit's total in Smokey and the Bandit.  Over five hundred thousand dollars in damage was done.  And do you know how many were arrested?  Sixteen!  And it takes sixteen games to win the cup!  Yet, despite the police car for each playoff win theory sounded promising, the rioters could have stopped at five, as despite all this hockey enthusiasm, the Canadiens Stanley Cup hopes were crushed as they were soundly defeated by the Philadelphia Flyers four games to one.


http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2008/04/22/mtl-habs.html