The Winners and Losers of Draft Weekend in the NHL

Let's get the obvious out of the way; if you live in Canada and stayed home to comment or provide in-depth coverage of the NHL draft via twitter on the Canada Day long weekend instead of going camping or dredging out your basement if you live in Calgary you have bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Things are happening outside right now.

The only thing sadder than watching CTV News anchor report on whatever is going on with Justin Bieber would be a grown man who actually takes an active interest in the future employment opportunities of teenagers that have been groomed since birth to get paid way too much money to either shoot a puck or stop it. I defy any NHL prospect to actually admit that they dream of going right to one of the bottom feeders of the NHL, which is what makes the whole circus so funny. The top 50 players in the junior leagues are all but guaranteed huge contracts just by being picked by any of the 30 teams - and their signing bonus will most likely equal a year of your salary - but hey, that's hockey life - it doesn't mean we have to support it.

But, that being said...


If only the NHL adopted a more 'fantasy-esque' type draft, I'd take an interest. You know, like the ones that you may be involved in where a bunch of General Managers meet early in the evening, have a few drinks, complain about last year's draft then start picking. Everybody is on the clock and once you've made your pick it's back to drinking and trash-talking everyone else's picks. As the night progresses, the drinks flow easier and the remarks get funnier as everyone talks about the sucker who picked Brian Campbell for his team.

This would be my ideal way to play for the lottery

Now, that would be a draft I'd watch.

And thanks to everybody having a near-instantaneous reaction to anything happening everywhere, here are the winners and losers I gleaned from Draft Week 2013.

The Big Surprise - The Columbus Blue Jackets picked 14th.
I didn't know that they were allowed to pick outside of the top 10 as per the Rick Nash rule. Then i remembered Rick Nash isn't there anymore so this makes sense.

The Well Deserved Surprise - Brian Bickell earns himself a HUGE pay raise, from $600,000 to $4 Million a year. After his Ogie-inspiring performance in the Stanley Cup playoffs, it's a well-earned jump. He deserved this money, at least for 2 years. He's a guy who takes the hits and stands up for his more talented teammates. Chicago learned from the departure of Dustin Byfuglien how important a guy like Bickell is, much like the guy who drew the short straw; Dave Bolland.

The Biggest Surprise - The New Jersey Devils acquired Cory Schneider for their 9th round pick
Wow, an early gift for John Tortorella, no goaltending controversy to start his reign in Vancouver. Cory gets traded for a guy named Bo who will be sure to be the answer to a future trivia question about guys named Bo and worst trades in Vancouver history (Mike Gillis edition).

The WTF Surprise - these 'Compliance Buyouts' are happening for realsies.
Sure, I can see guys like Scott Gomez and Wade Redden suffering this indignity but Vincent Lecavalier? Danny Briere? Ilya Bryzgalov? These are still quality fantasy hockey league prospects.

I tried to explain this concept of Compliance buyouts to my wife, and it only made me sound stupider. Players get paid huge amounts of money to play for a certain team for X number of years. A couple years later, the team doesn't like that X number of years part and rather than honor the contract for a few more years then attempt a trade, they still give that player the $ but tell him not to show up for work. To make it even better, the player can go play hockey with another team. So in effect, he's being paid by two teams to play for one team. My wife now wants me to find a job that will do the same thing.

On to the Draft Part of Draft Week, winners and losers...

Winner; Seth Jones, the former #1 ranked defenceman who went #4 to the Nashville Predators, an already decent team that is not in need immediately of a #1 defenceman; look for him to excel under Shea Weber much like Dougie Hamilton did under the giant shadow of Zdeno Chara in Boston.

Loser; Nathan McKinnon, the new #1 pick thanks to Joe Sakic and the Colorado Avalanche and automatically at risk of becoming 'that #1 guy who never panned out' in 10 years time.

Winners (group); Forwards - with the first 3 picks being forwards overshadowing the consensus #1 pick of defenceman Seth Jones this can only mean one thing - two of those guys will never pan out, the other might turn out to be pretty good five years from now when he moves on to a different team and Seth Jones will be mentored by Shea Weber on how to make teams overvalue your services.

Enjoy the simplicity of it all...

Losers (group); Goalies - with the average goalie retiring at the age of 38, the amount of teams looking for the goalie of the future right now were limited to none thanks to...

BOBROVSKY!!

Winner Goalie; Cory Schneider - the Trade that Shocked Vancouver - is anointed the future back-up to Martin Brodeur IF he ever decides to retire. This gets Cory out of the Crazy Town that is Vancouver and closer to his fav coach, Alain Vigneault, albeit still a subway ride away.


Loser Goalie; Martin Brodeur's son, Anthony Brodeur who was picked by his father in the 7th round, 208th or 4th from last. It's one thing for your dad to get you a job at the mill but quite another for your dad's employers to allow him to select you  and then watching live your sloth-like pace to the Devils table to thank your dad for picking you before that last guy left up at the top of the arena. I don't think he will ever be able to live down the future 'daddy's boy' taunts he will be getting for the next 6 months of his hockey career before he develops a massive coke problem.  But I hope I'm wrong.

Foreshadowing of the Brodeur dynasty?

Overlooked Winner; Tyler Bertuzzi; Being the nephew of Todd must have helped his cause with the Red Wings who took him way up in the 2nd round, 58th overall. Other semi-related winner; Steve Moore's nephew who was recently accepted into law school.

Overlooked Loser; Rick DiPietro's doctor; With the New York Islanders all but guaranteed to finally give up on DiPietro's massive contract by using that aforementioned compliance buy out (and a justified one at that), there will be no more Dr's gleefully rubbing their hands together whenever they see a DiPietro appointment on their calendar. I read on twitter that this buyout will mean Rick made over $4300 for every NHL save he made.

Winner (team); Toronto Maple Leafs. They finally won something! Something called the Dave Bolland sweepstakes. Fresh from his Stanley Cup winning goal he will quickly bolster a 'getting close' Maple Leaf team. Look for him to make an immediate impact with Toronto, quickly becoming a fan favourite when they hear his views on the Sedin brothers. A great move by Dave Nonis.

"Bring me a Sedin, my fists are hungry for some face."

Loser (team); Philadelphia Flyers. Seriously, what the hell is going on there? Has Paul Holmgren become the new Mike Milbury? Has Ed Snider started taking tips from Charles Wang? This hockey team has become the laughing stock of accountants everywhere. Agents are speed-dialing the Philly front office just trying to get some face time so they can sign a contract.  Now with Vinny Lecalvier signing up, they look to be wanting to ice a team that consists of 12 centers and 1 goalie, although Brian Boucher is still on their calling list. Then to top it all off they draft a player with the last name of 'Morin' which will go over great with Philly fans, as that's how they end every sentence. It's maybe time to start considering this a 'rebuilding decade' for them.