I levelled up in adulting.

 

I earned myself a 12 foot aluminum fishing boat last year, doing it the old-fashioned way, bartering it from an obese neighbour who couldn't assist me in the building or paying of a shared fence. The boat had sat on an old utility trailer in the back corner of his yard and to which we stared at for the last five years, and after the bartering, found out it had sat there for twenty. 

I spent most of last summer rebuilding the trailer from the frame up, because also when you are an adult, you should have a utility trailer (caveat, you don't need one if you don't have property). So I rebuilt the trailer and spent this summer slowly migrating the boat from our back yard to the top of the trailer. I also needed to invest in a means of propulsion, for despite it also coming with a 7hp 45 year old outboard motor, I felt an electric motor would be more suited for my needs; specifically a quiet trolling speed. 

So for my 50th, I bought an electric boat motor and a battery to go with it. I also bought a fishing license, which is like an official ticket to enjoy the bounties of nature. 

I have used the boat twice this summer, which is a 200% increase over last year. I have taught my boy the ritual of the Fisherman's Club, which is to jump overboard and pee while holding onto the side of the boat. He enjoys doing that. I have learned that the slower it goes, the longer the battery life. I have learned rowing is not as easy as it looks in the movies.

I have yet to catch a fish. 

But I have a boat. 

I levelled up. 

yay. 

In other news, I was informed an ex-girlfriend of mine died last year of a brain aneurysm while running. She was 49 and one of those women who seemed larger than they were; who brought joy and laughter and excitement into my life and then when she left, it killed a part of me. She was someone who showed me how joyous life could be but I equated that to only being possible if she was there to point it out to me. I wrote poetry for her, wrote a short novella also about her that nobody has ever read. She was my first reader and my poetry made our relationship last maybe... two months longer? I can't exactly remember. However long it was, it wasn't enough for me, more than enough for her. It took a long time for me to get over her but that's on me. Life goes on until it doesn't.

I can only imagine how much laughter she and her husband for over two decades and I am sad to hear her life-timer is over. Just recently I had used her as an example to my daughter in a discussion about careers. My daughter had chosen 'computer designer' or something that sounded so establishment/stereotypical. My ex, on the other hand, 25 years earlier, told me she would love to be a do-wop girl, one of those girls in the background singing the ooohs and ahhhs while the singer did their thing. I loved that thought, someone not wanting to be the one in the spotlight, but instead being in the background, experiencing her own dream as she doo-wopped her way through life. 

She never did become a background singer, but I'm sure she helped so many others in her joy, laugh and smile, do-wopping through life. Here's to you, SJ. 

CoVid - A Year of Memories

 

I have this picture on my phone, a screenshot I took March 3, 2020 which mentions a virus death toll reaches 9.  

I think I took the screenshot because I thought it odd this virus (out of China) would make international news, make it all the way to this little corner of the Okanagan. 

The same screen shot shows a headline about a tornado that killed at least 22. 

So yeah, that was a pretty big jump in two weeks. But still, why would there be that mention 2 weeks earlier when it was only 9?

Things took a pretty big dump soon after. I recall there was a weird/funny rush on toilet paper; videos of Costco TP going as fast as the workers could unload them. A lady at work had a husband that worked there and confirmed that was what was going on.  

Then my next screenshot is on March 18, 2020 stating the total, now called Coronavirus worldwide as 8,969. 

According to Wikipedia, BC's first CoVid related death happened March 5th (a man in his 80s)

I believe Canada effectively shut down on March 17th, meaning for us, that the kids would be on an extended Spring Break.

We pretty much went full stop. I drove into town and it the roads were quiet; it felt like Christmas Day or a summer morning at 5am. So little movement.

In the days to follow, Trudeau announced the CERB, malls, restaurants (barring drive-thru), airlines, travel all shut down. 

I recall thinking we were becoming really societally stupid when the District closed off all open spaces (like our local 10 acre dog park) with caution tape (due to CoVid). Then when it did open up, they had wrapped up the park benches with tape as well despite no evidence. NO SITTING! Because someone, without any scientific proof, hypthesized that this airborne virus lurked on every surface; you could catch it simply by sitting on a common bench or god forbid, reading a book from a public library. 

While everyone was worried about their jobs, their bills, many utility companies put up a deferred payment plans for 6 months. Mortgage holders, those Big Banks, gracefully allowed mortgage payments to be deferred for 6 months (interest still accumulating) but no ding on your credit history. Soon complaints began of the stupidly long wait times to try to arrange this with said banks because they were all closed, due to CoVid.  

Yet our town's Garden centers remained open (for mental health) which meant Rona/Home Depot/Walmart opened their doors to limited customers, making many wait in line-ups outside as they hurried to buy paint and materials for long-neglected home renovations. Smaller businesses complained to deaf ears about why they had to be closed, about how this all just helped big business, like usual. The rich got richer. McDonald's staff risked their lives so we could order our coffees and chicken nuggets, every time wondering if this would be our last meal, served to us by minimum wage people with no health insurance while we praised all the hospital staff in their overly-sanitized buildings and layers of PPE who were willing to put their lives on the line while waiting for the rush of virus victims who (must stress that this is in my small town) failed to materialize.  

Then George Floyd was gradually choked to death by a cop who must have known he was being  recorded and shit really started to get crazy again down south. Nobody cared about CoVid. Cops were not your friends. Riots happened, shit got real, many people were breaking the 6ft radius rule and the focus changed. Trump continued to do shitty Trump things, with only half of America caring, the other half cheering. 

I questioned not the number of deaths, but the age. Of nearly 11,000 fatal cases in Canada, around 300 were not in care homes. That didn't make the news as much as I believe it should have. 

I have consistently said the people dying were elderly and yes, it's bad and they deserve to die with dignity and being able to see their loved ones but they weren't. Last words were done by Zoom. It was shitty. Yet people still said no contact. 

The average age of Canadians who died of COVID-19 in 2020 is 83.8 years. By comparison, the average age at death in Canada in 2019 was 76.5 years. Life expectancy is 82.1

Region	Deaths, due to COVID-19	Average age at death, due to COVID-19	Crude death rate, due to COVID-19	Life expectancy in 2019
	number	in years	per thousand	in years
Canada	15,651	83.8	0.41	82.10

Even with CoVid, the average age at death has increased! 

Life expectancy at birth (LEB) in Canada in 2020 is still unknown, but it will likely be lower compared with previous years. Deaths caused by COVID-19 contributed to an estimated reduction in LEB of 0.41 years in 2020. Compared to the life expectancy of 82.10 years observed in 2019, this decrease of 0.41 years would reduce LEB to what it was six years earlier, in 2013 (81.68 years).

We are now expected to live FOUR less months than expected due to CoVid. 

For the record, I'm not against vaccines but it was sure convenient when Pfizer announced they had developed one Nov 12, 5 days after the too-close-to-call-but-probably-Biden American election (spoiler alert; Biden officially won Dec 14 according to the electoral college, which was also the date the first American vaccine was given).

Pfizer is an American pharmaceutical company. Moderna is as well. Coincidence.

We were warned of a second wave and everyone had to go through the motions again; but with much more mask wearing. Summer ended and schools/indoors/restaurants/cops all had to wear masks. A lot of fights were shared on social media of people not wearing masks vs people who said they had to. 

 Then we all had to have vaccines! Social lepers if you didn't. Talk of Vaccine passports, mandatory return to work vaccinations. 

Gas went down to 96 cents, as nobody was driving to and from work anymore. Some front line workers (such as nurses) were hailed as Gods, as they awaited the in rush of dying that for most smaller cities never came. Other front line workers (such as cashiers in grocery stores) received a temporary $2 'danger pay' raise. Other front line workers (such as at your local 7/11 or McDonald's drive-thru received nothing). 

At my firehall, we stopped weekly practices, were told to wear hazmat suits, including face shields and taped up gloves to prevent exposure on any calls we attended. I grew a small beard instead. 

In June 2020, school started again, attendance optional. Teachers learned Zoom while also working on a Day1/Day2 schedule for kids who attended. Most parents kept their kids at home. 

It was rumoured CoVid was carried by kids (who would show no symptoms) so anything they touched, could be infected by CoVid, which resulted in much wiping and hand-sanitizing; in my school our hand-washing schedule was; once before school, once entering, once leaving for recess, once returning, once when going to the gym, once when leaving the gym, wiping desks before and after lunch. God help you if you coughed. And yes, we were all supposed to stay six feet from each other. 

It was stupid time to be alive. But we did it. 

In April, 2020, somebody in the Maritimes dressed up as a cop and killed 22 people on a weekend murder spree; surprising everyone who thought those type of things happened only in the US. 

That's all I can think of for now. 

I'm still not vaccinated but likely will be in the coming year as my mom has paid for accomodations in Hawaii for us to celebrate her postponed 70th birthday. 

It is now July of 2021, the mask mandate is over, 70% of us have been vaccinated but that isn't stopping the Delta Variant which for all I can tell, still continues to kill older people that have lived past their average life span. 

And oh yeah, the Okanagan is once again completely covered by smoke, much like 2017. It just feels worse this year. 

Update July 28, 2023, : my last CoVid Count post; 

Flies Non-Update

 

Well, after the "I got this" talk of Thursday night, it turned out I didn't 'got this' on Friday. 

Instead of resubmitting Flies to another possible publisher, I chose to do other things, like clean up my tool room (which had been on the list for a long time) and finish my rough editing of Karmageddon. 

It's amazing how much I want to change after leaving it alone for 2 (?) years. Does it naturally get worse or is that just me? Anyways, I finished tagging all the things I want to change and have been spending this morning (Saturday) doing that instead of, again, resubmitting Flies. 

I also went to the liquor store yesterday, to get a little something to deal with the fact I am turning 50 and was immediately drawn to this:                                                                                                                                                                                       Now for some reason I can't get Blogger to text-wrap around these pictures I'm getting frustrated and having spent 2 hours on this computer, avoiding submitting Flies, I will once again return to my state of self-loathing and find more shit to throw away, at least making my day somewhat complete.                                                                                                                             So here I am, one less day until 50 with on publishing contract. Not like there's any rush anymore. 

Flies; the first submission.

Attempt #1

Okay, so I know enough about the submitting process to know I don't know enough and never will. 

I'm going to detail my attempts at finding a publisher for Flies so that way either I A) have someone to blame, B) have a semi-interesting journal for people interested in a similar journal and C) therapy.

I'm just going to hop on C) here. I submitted Flies three days ago, via Submittable to the 'Featured Publisher' of my local chapter of the Canadian Publisher's Alliance - that's not the name but it was the first one that came up on a Google search.

They have a caveat; saying they publish about 20 books a year with around 1000 submissions annually. So, chances are pretty slim. 

Now, previous experience/homework suggested there's a long turn-around time when a manuscript is dropped into a 'slush pile'; like months and months. So I sure wasn't expecting an answer anytime soon. 

But I did. Running that high I started reading/editing Karmageddon again and SHIT there's a lot of notes I've made for the next edit. How do manuscripts get worse the longer you're away from them? 

Then something unexpected. A reply from the publisher. Could it be? 

Three days and form letter rejection. 

I found that out about 7pm tonight. That put me in a funk so hard I laid down on the couch and power napped for about 15 minutes before being woken by the kid. Then I spent about 30 minutes looking at other possible publishers, depressed and miserable, self-loathing, questioning my validity of writing talents, etc. I put that on pause, deciding I will look deeper into it tomorrow. Maybe submit again before the acceptance settles in which obviously already did.

Another hour or so of that feeling sucky before going to bed. 

It was while laying there that I had this epiphany that Flies was never going to be an easy sell - I mean, it's a story about killing children that nobody cares about. I need to work on selling it; how I'm going to do that, I don't know. I need to have a cheerleader in my life, someone who will say 'no problem, you got this, you can do it'. And I realize I don't so it's all up to me. 

It's always been all up to me. 

I got this. I will find a publisher for Flies. 

In the meantime, I'll journal my struggles on my blog (does anyone read blogs anymore?) for posterity. 

In this day and age of bells and whistles and 'everything lives forever on the Internet', which by the way is not true judging from all the embedded video clips that have been removed from this blog, I figure this will make for a decent memory for the day when I do get Flies published and maybe, just maybe, find an agent to make my life a little easier and my confidence a little stronger. 

I got this. 

Be your own cheerleader. 

 

Summer 2021

 

Here we are, still alive, still trying to figure out what this last 16 months has meant. A lot of people have died, current update is 4, 167,500 deaths, 26,000 in Canada. 

A lot of questions; vaccinations, yay or nay, lot of media propaganda which after nearly a 20 year bad rap (harkening back to Bush/Cheney) of being puppets to government spins. Nobody trusts anyone anymore, forest fires burning like 2017, masks no longer mandatory, US states 'opening' and dying again, the Delta variant, the Jan 6th capital attack, Branson and Bezos going into space, with the argument of what actually defines 'space' last week, no rain in the last 4 months, with a 44 degree heat spell and the town of Lytton incinerating. 

And somewhere in the last 5 months I completed Flies, and if I say so myself, it's pretty damn good. My 3 beta readers have loved it with one yet to check in. I am working on one last re-edit before doing the real work of pushing it off into some publishing houses to attempt to get that elusive traditional deal done; I'm old-school all the way because I hate the work of self-promo. 

So that is my quick update for the summer. I've not done much outside and the family has gone off for the weekend but I have to keep my eyes on the goal(s) and it's easier said than done. Still so much to do, both inside, outside and 75 pages still to edit.