To make matters worse, if the NHL had kept their same format as last year all the other Canadian teams still wouldn't have made the playoffs.
So to everyone besides Greg, let's just forget that we have any type of local geographic or childhood allegiance to our sports teams and let's pick another team to pin all your hopes and dreams on as you avoid all other issues in my life. So for that, let's pick the Boston Bruins, President's Cup winners, all-star and Theon Greyjoy look-a-like Tukka Rask in net and Alberta's other favourite son, Jarome Iginla, on a quest to cap off his career with the Stanley Cup.
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| One is Lilly Allen's brother, the other is named Tuukka. |
Someone (@ionthesparrow12) has already done a lot of the grunt work for you by making this handy flowchart, making it easier to make that selection;
But Ogie is here to review our 1st round match-ups and boldly predict what everyone else already predicts...
The Eastern Conference;
Not to brag but i did pretty good last year, 3 out of 4 correct predictions, with only the Capitals failing to materialize as Cup-worthy contenders to the 2nd round. And also, i should remember to thank the Maple Leafs for their epic collapse against Boston in Game 7. But who remembers that, am i right?
So, here's looking at the first round match-ups this year;
Boston Bruins vs Detroit Red Wings
It's almost funny comparing Boston and Vancouver's team trajectory's since their epic 7 game Stanley Cup series a short 3 years ago, unless you are a Canuck fan. Remember Tim Thomas bowing out 'gracefully' via facebook to take a year off and reflect on his political viewpoints while Roberto Luongo took twitter by storm under the worst-kept secret alias to win a new legion of fans that didn't even know what team he played for. Both teams still have a strong mature core in the dressing room. However, the difference is that Boston forgave Jarome Iginla signing with Pittsburgh last year and is now giving him his best chance ever at the Cup since last year. Meanwhile in Vancouver signed Tom Sestito who funnily enough wasn't even the Canuck to get the longest suspension this year. Instead that honor went to unlikely hockey terrorist and Bob Hartley stalker, John Tortorella.
After the new re-alignment perennial super team Detroit moved to the Eastern conference to the Western conference's delight (see Nashville playoff hopes). Detroit decided to make it fun for their new conference rivals by allowing most of their stars to sit out this year so that everyone else would have a fighting chance in the east to make the playoffs. Yet Detroit still made it, thanks to another 'surprise' European, Gravol Nyquist.
Playoff prediction;
Consider this the year of Iggy. Detroit will make a series of it, as per usual but as long as they stay away from trying to out-physical the Wings, they should be able to get by on the strength of Tukka Rask and Zdeno Chara's reach. Boston in six.
Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Columbus Blue Jackets
Pittsburgh is another perennial safe bet in believing that they will contend for the Cup every year. They are the Eastern Conference's version of the San Jose Sharks. But while everyone waits for an epic collapse from Marc Andre Fleury a la Roberto Luongo proportions, it won't be in the first round. But to be sure they did pull Thomas Vokoun off his wheelchair in case they need a repeat of last year's heroics from him. The only trouble the Pens should have with the Blue Jackets is figuring out in which state Columbus plays in.
Columbus, with the crest that is a cross between the Dallas Stars and USS Starfleet is just glad to be here. Having made the playoffs in large part thanks to the Toronto Maple Leafs, they will be relying on BOBROVSKY as the rest of the team works on educating the team's market exactly why they are still playing in the middle of April.
Playoff Prediction;
Pittsburgh held on to defeat the NY Islanders in six games last year, which sounds funny when read aloud. But I don't think they will have as much difficulty with the Jackets; they may give'm a game at home to make Gary Bettman happy. Penguins in five.
Rangers vs Philadelphia
There can nobody happier than...well, every New York Ranger player that John Tortorella (more on him later) was replaced with notorious nice guy Alain Vigneault at the start of the season. AV patiently waited for his superstars to see which way the wind was blowing (into the wins category) and once they saw his fun-first, offense second mentality eagerly joined the party. Ogie isn't a big fan of the last minute free agent signing (Marty St. Louis) and it remains to be seen if AV has learned anything from his quick departures from the playoffs with the Canucks, however he is coaching in the Eastern Conference and his team doesn't have to face Stanley Cup winning goaltender Antti Niemi or Jonathon Quick in the first round. 
Philadelphia. Once again they have risen from the ashes to contend in the playoffs. I don't know how they do it. It could be that the threat of a Chris Pronger motivational speech has made the boys over achieve once again. Another team that had goaltending issues only a few short years ago but ... here they are. And there they go.
Play off Prediction;
Rangers in six. It's going to be a bit of old-time hockey mixed in with Brad Richards and Marty St. Louis continually reminding everyone that they've been here before and that drama with the restraining order against Mark Messier from entering the dressing room. Philadelphia could pull off a bit of an upset here but it comes down to Olympian Henrik Lundquist vs. EA/NHL star Steve Mason. Any takers?
Montreal vs Tampa Bay Lightning
Apparently Montreal is the only Canadian team in the playoffs, a fact that has been beaten to death only slightly less than Toronto's March collapse by TSN. Tampa Bay is just happy that so many members of their farm team will get a chance to feel what it's like to play in the playoffs. Except for Ryan Malone who will be busy trying to get some after hockey career advice from Kevin Stevens.
Montreal. Let's see... rabid fan base? Check. Star goaltender? Check. Balanced forward lines with a little bit of grit and a little bit of polish? Check. Strong defense? Check. What else could the Canadiens want before they go on to the second round? For Detroit to beat Boston but that seems unlikely. Get ready for a Boston/Montreal semi-final! 
Tampa Bay does have Steve Stamkos going for it but unless he plays 55 minutes a game, they are going to be hard pressed to even have an original quote for the mass media in attendance before and after each game. Ryan Malone's drug arrest won't help matters and with all the focus on the Miami Heat's playoff run, look for Tampa Bay to load up on poutine and maple syrup before heading home as it will be their last time in Canada for the year.
Playoff Prediction;
Unless Stevie Y comes down from the press box and suits up, Tampa Bay most likely just be happy to experience what it is like to spend a few days in hockey mad city before they go home to lose the final two games. Not even the return of Gigantor goalie Ben Bishop will be able to stop the will power that is all of Canada hoping for Montreal to advance. Montreal in four with little rioting.
Tomorrow or the Next Day;
The Western Conference or Last Team Standing faces the Bruins...
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