Winners of the 2014 NHL Draft now that nobody cares...

Winners:

#1 The Philadelphia Flyer fans.

It's amazing to me that thousands of Philadelphia fans showed up at the Spectrum (is it still called that?) to watch a bunch of grown men basically play the real version of a fantasy hockey draft. But then I heard what they did during roll call and I thought 'That's fuckin' Awesome.' Thank you, Philly fans for what I hope is going to be a yearly tradition because if there is anything that yells out SUCKS more than 24 hours of dedicated TSN coverage, its the NHL entry draft.


#2 Mickael Grabvoski 

I admit i have a soft spot for the guy - he was a steady contributor in my own dynasty fantasy pool up until he was moved to a defensive role thanks to Randy Caryle (SUCKS). Getting out of Toronto was great, the 1st game hat trick with Washington led to some hopeful thoughts of years past production but he wasn't able to put up Ovie-like numbers (35 points in 58 games) as the 3rd, sometimes 2nd line center.

Yet he did well enough to earn a $2 million dollar raise in the eyes of the New York Islanders who see the potential in the fighting Finn. Or Russian. Anyways, Behind Tavares and Nilson and on a team that threatened to make Islander jokes a thing of the past, he should make a decent fit in a team that desperately needs to remember they used to be a Dynasty. Speaking of other teams that really under-performed last season...


# 3 The Vancouver Canucks

Have we all calmed down enough to talk about how badly the Canucks tanked last year and their resurgence as a vehicle for all that is Trevor Linden? Ryan Miller In. Ryan Kesler Out. Nick Bonino In. David Booth waived. Radim Vrbata In. Eddie Lack - opening doors again.

I like it. Trevor's first month on the job wasn't easy, pretending that he was going to give Torts a second chance, interviewing the players, polling the media before telling him what everyone else thought of him.

He may have taken this gag a bit far by also using it as a farewell card to Ryan Kesler.  It gives the Canucks a chance to not make the same mistake they did with Cody Hodgson by pretending there is a spot in the Top 6 for the right go-getter. Ryan Miller is a great substitute for Luongo (at least in name recognition) and he has plenty of experience in coming in 2nd in big games so he won't surprise Vancouver fans. But he also has relatively new experience in leading his team to last so don't be surprised if Eddie uses his charms on Miller the way he did with Schneider and Luongo. That guy is a killer. But I'm willing to bet with their new coach, the offensive-minded Willie Desjardins making the leap from the minors to the Big Show, the Canucks will again contend, just not-quite-at-the-top tough western division. At least 5-7th...


#4 Florida Panthers Jersey Makers

Nothing says committed to winning like staying the course (LA Kings, Detroit, Chicago). Then there are the other teams that think throwing a grenade into the dressing room and replacing anyone who doesn't make it out is a good idea. Say hello to Florida!

Not including the final resting spot of Roberto Luongo, they brought in 7 other players to fill the needs of jersey sales in the Florida market, which has been swamped with Stamkos jerseys.  I went and did all this research on their newest players only to find someone beat me to it;

Roberto Luongo - 1 Olympic Gold Medal in goal, 1 Olympic Gold in Warming Bench
Dave Bolland - 2 Stanley Cups
Shawn Thornton - 2 Cups, 10 Knuckles
Willie Mitchell - 2 Stanley Cups
Jussi Jokinen ...HE'S FINNISH! - I don't know why that's an important note. Well, at least it's not Ollie...
Al Montoya - #6 pick in 2004, Al's gone on to play nearly 100 games in the NHL in the last 10 years so don't expect any Cory Schneider/Eddie Lack antics from this guy. Probably a big fan of Princess Bride.
Derek MacKenzie; How's this for a quality reference from a forum where Florida fans got to ask questions about who these people were, in particular Derek-

CBJ fan here. Derek MacKenzie is honestly one of my favorite players in the NHL. Ridiculously determined forechecker and immensely responsible fourth liner. He was also the cornerstone of our penalty kill all year

Do all those players compensate for Brian Campbell on D? Yes. Look for them to compete just as hard as everyone else in that division (which admittedly isn't saying much).


#5 Jarome Iginla

You're welcome, Trivia Nerds...

He's the new Marion Hossa. At one time Jarome Iginla was about as threatening as burnt pancakes. You know what i mean...dark and mean on the outside but inside...nice and plain ol'white bread. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy - the heart of Alberta until the Flames finally started listening to the rest of the NHL fan base saying "please trade him somewhere good". So first he was in Pittsburgh only to lose to Boston. Then last year he went to Boston, only to again lose out on getting to the Cup. But with Hossa-like fortitude, he hedged his bets on the best team of the year, the Colorado Avalanche.

So will Iginla be the Ray Bourque for the Avalanche? Having Iggy replacing Paul Statsny is a fair trade. will he take them all the way? I don't know... the surprise factor won't be on their side this year.

#6 And Lastly, Brad Richards

H'es no Hansel. I mean Handzus.

Is he The next Michale Handzus? The next Mark Rechi? Who cares, for $2 million per year this is a complete win for the Hawks. He should be a more than adequate replacement when Hossa does his usual injury thing and being so far out of the loop in the Hawks leadership core he changes in the Zamboni room he should have a quiet, successful season topping up his severance pay from the Rangers.

Hossa in training for the upcoming season.