Basebrawl! sadly enough...they can't even brawl right.

Baseball has a perception of being more boring than competitive fishing. Yet on occasion something potentially exciting happens and all hell breaks loose but yet...it doesn't. Here's a classic example from Thursday's game between the Padres and Dodgers. I've included a play by play of the events to watch for. I seriously cannot understand how baseball is considered more exciting than hockey. 

First, I really appreciate how the tone of the announcer doesn't change once 18 (Quentin) semi-stalks then charges the pitcher #21 (Grienke). "now. he. has. something. to. say. and. look. out. here." Sounds like a robot calling this game but the emotion in his voice, my god, man how could i not nearly stop to take another drink of my beer. It sounds like I'm watching a high-intensity crib game.

At .19 the announcer then goes on to explain why #18 charges the mound by saying;

"Quentin continues to amaze as he consistently gets hits by pitches."  Really? That's amazing? I nearly put wart burner in my eye yesterday but nobody would consider that amazing. Real Americans would have taken out a gun and shot that white guy and a few innocent bystanders for less.

then he goes on to say that



"It looks like the majority of the players are trying to be peacemakers." - while to me it looks like a bunch of high school kids fighting over a free copy of an old Hustler magazine.

At .39 the dodger bullpen makes it way to the scrum...because...well, it's not really relevant why they took 30 seconds to run across the field to really do nothing but it's kinda funny later on.

at 1.25 - "quentin has been hit at least 109x in his career", yet it looks like Angry Matt Kemp was the one getting hit. For the record, he plays center field and was pretty much the furthest away you can be from getting hit by a pitch without paying for a ticket but Angry Matt looovvvvesss the TV.

at 2.08 the bullpens start walking back across the field causing more than one Reddit fan to yell "Go home bullpens, you're drunk." to his amusement.

at 2.50 on the replay you can see Angry Matt Kemp charging in from center field as well as the 'lean in and take it like a man' defense of pitcher #21, who I heard later apparently wound up breaking his collarbone, which must make Quentin a very happy man now that he knows Karma has his back.

Then it gets really funny; as Angry Matt Kemp stays angry, another ruckus begins and at 3.40 it again shows the bullpens come running back across the field to again do nothing.

at 4.35 Angry Matt Kemp is really trying to not be singled out for later drug testing, verging on going all 'roid rage on his own teammates.

at 4.45 the announcer; "that is fertilizer, says Kemp over and over, that is fertilizer." meaning he must be explaining what is happening to his grandchildren who must be sitting beside him.

at 5.16 the reason for the 2nd scrum is apparent as some guy had run 3/4 across the field towards the other dugout for reasons unknown. I am sure he is grateful someone came out to meet him before it got all awkward and shit when he realized he was single-handedly charging the other team.

Anyone remember Quentin the guy who started it all?

at 7.08 they mention Padres head coach? manager? whatever they are called, anyways his father was a hockey player for the Chicago Blackhawks so he 'knows all about fights'.

They should have cut to a clip of a real fight as they dare sully hockey's good fighting name by comparing it with this snoozer so i will rectify things a bit; here's a hockey fight to get you through the rest of this post.



Now back to the boredom...at 7.25 the pitchers are back in their bullpen again finally.

at 9.15 they show the pitch that Angry Matt Kemp was apparently upset about, which clearly shows it being high and inside but i wouldn't say was going to actually hit him, unlike say....that pitch by #21 on #18 which clearly did hit him and will most likely leave a mark.

So all this just to offer proof as why hockey is way better than baseball, with real announcers, real men being really mad for real reasons.

To quote a certain announcer, that was fertilizer, pure fertilizer...