First; the context of this post is from this week's current fantasy hockey pool standings with about 10 games left to play. It's year 3 of a 5 year pool when at the end, the winner gets some money. However, it's been so long i don't recall how much.
This is for the few literate guys in my dynasty hockey pool that can read and a way to see if any of them are checking out this blog. Hopefully they have a sense of humour, it's hard to tell with some of this group. I will refrain from commenting on which team mine is but let's just say it's not in first. Or second. Not in third or fourth either.
1st, *my contract sucks is a cocky mofo who i have known for years. He likes to use an * in front of his team name because he says it helps him spot his team quicker. Personally, it just reminds me that he's an asshole when it comes to trying to trade with him. But he's in first so he's doing something right. If i was in first, I would change my team name to 'I'm in 1st, Suckas!' but at least with he's showing that he's a player by referring to a recent sound bite; he probably gets TSN sportsdesk tweets on his twitter. He's obviously up on current events and pays attention to what Bobby Lou is saying as he hugs his Bobby Lou full body pillow waiting for the day they can finally truly embrace.
2nd, CUNNING STUNTS. Right...how somebody with a name like this, which happens to the be the only team shouting, is in second place makes me feel shame that we have allowed a 17 year old boy to play this game among men. If he played hockey he would be #69 because he thinks it's clever. Now i know how J.S Giguere feels.
3rd, Kassian the new#16. Obviously a new Canuck fan that started watching when he was told that if he didn't he was gay. So he picked Kassian up in the third game of the season and is still holding onto him, thinking that maybe it's Kassian's way of playing a practical joke and that next year he's going to be the next Cam Neely (meaning he retires early due to a knee injury). And to also prove he isn't gay, despite that Sports Illustrated poster of Ryan Kesler on his ceiling over his bed.
4th, Glass Goalies. Man. This guy. Half his team is goalies, because in this league your saves make for a important category. He obviously has his scapegoats ready to blame when he falls from 4th to 8th in the last ten games. He probably works for the government and has bad taste in movies. But he buys me a beer once in awhile so he ain't all bad.
5th, Show me the Cellar. I don't think this guy is even playing. The last movie he saw was Jerry McGuire and spends more time keeping his wife happy than trying to make trades to actually get him to the cellar. He's probably the type of guy who wins all the time at poker, without really knowing how to play. I hate him.
6th, Dango Dango - the D is silent because of Quentin Tarantino. I don't really get his team name. Either he's attempting a play at dangle dangle, his name is Dan and he's cheering for himself; Dan go Dan go or he has the spelling skills and wit of a young Lyle Odelein.
7th, The Chicago Red Sox. This guy. He's obviously a Lakers fan. Good guy to buy a beer for. Pretty entertaining in small doses and how can he be last in goals with this bunch of goompas? Perhaps a misunderstood genius who likes to blog about nothing that will change mankind as we know it.
8th, Richard Brodeur, another Canknuckle head. Old enough to remember the glory years of the Canucks, when winning wasn't everything. Heck, winning wasn't usually even considered an option back then. He's a man after my own heart, who remembers when a Steamer was not something found on your chest after a bad night in Surrey. We made a 6 player trade that was honestly refreshing and refreshingly honest in our dealings. Good man, hope he finishes in good standing, but still behind me.
9th, slash and burn. I have no opinion of this guy because i don't think he even knows how to use a computer and had his dog enter his team for him.
10th, Trade Crosby for Salo. This guy has neither of those two players which makes his trade suggestions quite suspect. i think he stopped playing back in 2009. He's got Nash, Giroux, Carter, Jagr, Kunitz and Stamkos on his team but won't trade any of them. Most of his team he keeps benched because I don't think he's aware the lock out is over.
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