Dads are Real People Too Who Like(d) to watch movies without animals once.

Dads; Fiction vs Reality

I know who this is, I just don't have the time to care.

Cuz Dads are people too, we like to watch movies. We used to watch movies too. Not just any movies, but real movies that don't involve magical ponies, tweens in striped shirts or cheap-ass toys that are available for a limited time only at the local fast food/bad parenting restaurant/day care.

I miss staying up late, being able to watch a full movie in it's entirety without hovering over the pause button. I know that one day I will be able to do this again, and maybe perhaps have in-depth discussions about what the definition of a 'classic' movie is and a 'retro' movie is with my kids. I'll get upset when they refer to Harry Potter or Madagascar 2 as being in the former category and 'Red Dawn' and 'Donnie Darko' being in the latter. Then I will have to take a deep breath and try not to weep for their generation when they say things like "Who is Patrick Swayze?" or "Star Wars Episode 10 is the best movie of all time."

So for now I have to live with the films or pop culture TV shows that I wish I could see but for that little 4 year old leg I can see around the corner, my daughter 95% out of sight but still quite impressionable and not yet ready for the gun-smacking ways of the Avengers or the nuanced script-crafting of Arrested Development. When I see that leg I have to stop the movie and take her back to bed, tuck her back in and hope that she doesn't start swearing tomorrow. Then I will go back to the movie but when it's halfway over I will find myself feeling too tired to keep watching and instead promise myself I will watch it tomorrow. Or the next day, I tell myself. Right after I empty the dishwasher, do some writing, clean up outside, or one of the dozens of other things I could be doing to keep our house productive and functioning at a level that hopefully will allow our children to grow up without trying to kill us or deal meth out of the furnace room.  


Ahh, but back to mature cinematic memories.

This was the type of film I used to watch; giving me the respectable credibility of a 'film school' graduate because it did double duty (yes, I said duty) as 'hey's it's foreign' and 'hey, it's a guy movie'.

Apologies for the subtitles...

don you go rounin roun to re ro from Chitharanjan Das on Vimeo.

Now, with another child on the way, I can expect to watch about another 10 years of things like this;

Can you see the difference? There's no plot development at all! There's no reason for this movie to even exist but yet it does. There's no character arc, no conflict. I have no emotional attachment to this cat caught in a strawberry pop tart and shooting rainbows out it's butt but for some reason, my kids do.

And when i ask them is this cat the protagonist or is it the antagonist they just look at me as if I am the one who's stupid. My kids don't even know what a gaffer is yet I am the one feeling like I'm missing something. My eldest wants this cat to be his birthday cake.  You know what i wanted for a birthday cake? Chocolate. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing and preferably chocolate candles. He wants a flying rainbow-pooping cat that someone made into a video.


So now I take my TV when I can get it and thanks to those other people without kids and the internet, the TV sits powerless as I at least do get the opportunity to be able to see the highlights of 10 years of crap, violence-glamorizing shows like CSI Miami and realize; "Wow, I'm so glad I didn't watch that with my kids".

Welcome to being a dad.

YEEEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!