Dialing it in; AV's firing...

Well, the Vancouver Canucks made what I like to refer to as another 'Messier' by firing all-time winningest coach in Canuck history, Alain Vani- Vaingne- AV a couple weeks after a 4 game sweep by the San Jose Sharks, 2 years after their near-Cup glory run in 2011.

'I heard there's a coaching position available?' 

Of course, being hockey nuts, we all know that. Some say that AV had to go, some say that he was thrown under the zamboni by a desperate GM, Mike Gillis.

Simple fact is that Vancouver (unofficial motto; keeping expectations unrealistically high since 1982) pressured Mike Gillis into this firing. Vancouver fans are a fickle bunch and most fail to realize that they should be grateful that they at least got to see a cup run during their generation. There are a lot of fans out there that haven't including Toronto, Montreal, both New York teams, San Jose, Nashville, St. Louis... the list goes on but let's face it, reaching the finals once every 15 years is a pretty good average compared to the bottom half of the league. Even Scotty Bowman didn't make it to the Stanley Cup every year he had a team and he won exactly only one more Jack Adams trophy for best NHL coach than AV has.  Go figure...

Vancouver is known as a goalie graveyard. It took only one year for Luongo to fall from grace to be replaced by someone who has around 5 playoff games under his pads. Thankfully, Luongo is still a celebrity on twitter and has shown himself to be one of the most amicable (and richest) back up goalies in history...so good for him.

Maybe it would be easier to just buy a new car
everytime I'm low on gas...

Maybe AV will take to twitter as well in the few weeks he's unemployed for he has officially become the most sought after coach in the league as of 1 minute after he was fired. For the record, it's almost better for a Canuck coach to not nearly win the cup than it is to just keep the team above 500.  It's the difference between being Marc Crawford and being Alain Vaingneault, however you spell it.

Roger Nielson, who led the team to the 82 finals, was released in less than 2 seasons after near glory. Pat Quinn, another Jack Adams Coach of the Year winner, like AV left the coaching to Rick Ley right after their near glory run in 1994.  Both of their successors lasted less than a few years before they were given walking papers.

The last 2 Canuck coaches, Marc Crawford and AV have led the team to more points in the last 13 years than the previous 9 coaches had in the 20 years before them, including Pat Quinn and Mike Keenan's records.

So, if present history holds true and if Patrick Roy can come back as the Colorado Avalanche head coach, then look to the Canucks to win fan favour by perhaps finally giving the reins to someone who will run the team into Avalanche type territory in the next couple of years before hiring either or both of the all-time greatest Canucks, Trevor Linden or Stan 'Steamer' Smyl.

Something in this picture isn't quite right...

Holy shit...would that be awesome.  

"What's God?"

Hi baby,

Well, that's a great question.  Really, it is.  It's nice to see you are already taking an interest in such a complicated subject as meta-spiritual deities at only three years old.  Remind me to talk to your Grandpa about age-appropriate discussions.  But let's talks about this after we brush your teeth and after you go put some pajamas on.  I know you don't want to, but we have to keep our pajamas on. Then if we have enough time we can watch some Sports Desk before bedtime.
What? Oh, right. What's God. You sure you just don't want to watch Sports Desk?  You are only three so I don't know if this is really the time to get into this. You sure? Well...ok, I'll try.

The Pope Loved a Good Backhand

God is like bedtime. Everybody has one, right?  But not everybody has the same bedtime, just like not everybody has the same god. It's just not everybody has the same bedtime. Oh. I said that already? It's a complicated subject. Well, God is like bedtime. We all need bedtimes, but we don't all have the same bedtime. It's good to have bedtimes because we know where we should be at certain times, which is sort of like the same thing with God.  God helps you know where we should be on certain issues, like death and instant replays. Bedtime isn't something you can put in your pocket or draw or anything which is just like God, because nobody has really seen God because God is more of a concept, like delayed offsides, icing or a winning Toronto Maple Leaf team. Yeah, it's a concept.  A concept means that it's insubstantial but helps explain things that you can't physically see, like math and Pierre MacGuire.

you had to go there, didn't you, God?

Okay, well you can't see God just like you can't see bedtime but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  But bedtime, well, that's real, like a good punch in the face. God, well, let's say needs to punch someone in the face. In fact, even when you pray to God to punch someone in the face, just once, it doesn't happen. Instead, you are the one getting punched. And not in the face, in the friggin' ball sack.


Where was I?  Oh yeah, everybody has a bedtime, just like you. Even hockey players.  

God 1- Atheists 0

Is there a God? Well, some people believe there is, which is why their team wins the Stanley Cup and Vancouver Canuck fans riot. No, no honey, I haven't believed in God since 1982. Stan Smyl deserved a Stanley Cup. But sometimes, sometimes i want to believe. Like when Bure delivered that elbow in 94.  For a moment, i believed there was a God and He was a Canuck fan. What's a Canuck fan? Oh, they are like your early bedtimes. You hear about them all the time, but in reality, you don't see them very much. Only when things are going good and Daddy thinks he might score.


No, Daddy hasn't scored in awhile. Yes, it might have something to do with my bedtime. You see, Sportsdesk comes on pretty late sometimes and that's after Mommy's bedtime.  Does Mommy believe in God? You know what, that is something you can ask her tomorrow.  Time for bed, sweetie.  Love you.  

1. Anatomy of the '82 Canuck Drive

Once Upon A Time in Bizarro World

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Although it may seem laughable now but once many, many years ago, the NHL was ruled by two teams for a decade; the New York Islanders and the Edmonton Oilers.  Yes, it's true.  Karma does have a sense of humour. 

During the run and gun eighties, these two teams epitomized that winning the Cup took only determination and a great mixture of skill, toughness and access to cocaine.  The Islanders owned the early eighties, the Oilers the later half.  If you were lucky enough to be alive in the mid-late eighties, you were treated to two Stanley Cup Finals; the Battle of Alberta and then the other one against whatever poor team hobbled out of the Eastern Conference to  lose to either Edmonton or Calgary. 



I said "one of..."

It was different times then.  Vancouver, with their 'Flying V' uniforms were considered one of the ugliest uniforms in North American sports.  Their all-star selection was picked via lottery and their most boisterous fans could afford to pay for tickets and pretty much all rode the bus to the games.
However, right on the cusp of the Oilers transforming the game of hockey into ...this... the 1982 Vancouver Canucks became the Champions of the West; true underdogs that had the unfortunate task to try and beat the last great dynasty; the New York Islanders.  It was Vancouver's first modern-day quest of the Cup and was due to five factors;