Dad Talk; remembering the good moments for the later bad moments.

Parenting sucks. It's all about 'responsibilities', reflecting and encouraging 'good behaviour', finding quality 'babysitters' and 'not getting high and watching Arrested Development in your underwear'.

This was the pinnacle of television comedy

I can't imagine a worst occupation than 'parent' outside of the military, police officer, social worker, any type of government employee, shelf stocker, radio DJ's, banking, professional sports fan/reporter, airline pilot, teacher, computer technician, health professional, farmer, logger, roughneck, security guard, blogger, Wal-mart employee, etc. etc.

Ok, so maybe I believe there actually are a lot of other things that suck other than parenting. Parenting is hard work, definitely. The wages are non-existent and there is no health plan. There are no real 'sick' days. As you build up seniority in being a parent it might get a bit easier but it also gets conversely more difficult as these pooping, non-mobile, eating and grunting mechanisms become pooping, mobile, larger eating and talk-backing individuals with feelings and emotions. They begin to have a social life and may become confused on what the difference is between 'needs' and 'wants', instead of relying on pop culture and what their friends tell them they need instead of their parents' definitions of needs vs wants.



Yet on the good side, there are thousands of small moments for parents in the early years that maybe at the time we don't realize are big moments until they've past. We are lucky to live in a day and age where digital cameras are omnipresent. Unlike my childhood where picture taking was a rigorous, staged event that came at the most in 32 roll pictures that you wouldn't even be able to see how bad you looked until 7 days later, after they were sent away to be developed. I now have over 1000 pictures of my kids in various stages of cuteness that for some reason I found needed to be frozen for all eternity or until my computer hard drive corrupts without me backing up said pictures. Note to self; learn how to back up pictures sooner than later.

Some days, my kids make me question my pre-conceptions of what being a parent is. When I realize that, I appreciate it and so this is my life lesson for today.

For example;

Today I met my daughter at her pre-school. She ran to me and i ran to her (always mirror your child's happy emotions). She gave me a hug and a craft she had made; a picture of a crab with googly eyes on the beach. She was immensely proud of it and when i told her I was going to put it in the car while we went to the park was happy with that.

Later, once we were home I took the picture out of the car and brought it inside to put on our fridge/art museum. She asked me why i brought it in as I said I was going to keep it in the car. I didn't realize she thought I meant it was going to stay in the car. I made some excuse about not wanting anyone to steal it and put it on the fridge but it got me thinking.

No, not that.

Why not leave it in the car? She loves it when she sees things she's done and given to me. All we really have of her in the car is her booster seat, maybe some toys and some empty juice boxes. Leaving this small proof of her affection for me in a car that I am constantly in is a great idea and most of all, would make her happy and reaffirm that I care about her and the things she gives me.

Kids give us things to show their love. Every gift (to them) is precious, even if it's something we might not think anything of like the last bite of a cookie or a piece of paper shaped like a butterfly or 'this big fat leaf I found for you'. I may not really understand the thought process of her giving but i believe parents should always encourage giving, for at this time of their lives it's a good example of a selfless act of kindness, one that we all sadly outgrow as we age and our acts are more of selfishness than selflessness. We might remember this discussion from Friends or for the more philosophical among you, the discussions of Immanuel Kant regarding altruism;

So I tend to to keep as much of her crafts/gifts as I can. I will keep the crab picture in the car for a couple of weeks so she knows it's there. Then I will put it away in the collection of things she has given me in her four short years. I keep them all so that one day when she's a teenager and starts to hate her dad, I can pull out an apple box full of crafts and gifts that I will have accumulated and shout at her 'SEE!! YOU LOVED ME ONCE!' before she jumps into some hover-car with a major douche bag she has decided that she's old enough to date and might subconsciously remind her of me.

I love my three kids in varying stages and definitions to be honest. I have one that doesn't show much emotion (he lives with his mother and I see him rarely) and one that does. I don't know if it's a gender thing or an environmental thing. I look forward to finding out in the years to come as I watch my third grow up, another boy who's baby space bubble is continually invaded by his loving, overly-kissy older sister.

Is there a point to this? Probably not. Always accept gifts from little ones, I guess. Because one day they will stop giving you gifts and think what you really want from them is a grand baby before they are in their twenties.

And you might miss those small moments because sometimes Dads find themselves doing stupid things, like caring what other people have in your car or researching which is a sexier car name; the Chevrolet Pompey or the Ford Sulla. The answers are 'who gives a shit' and as for the second, I think the pictures speak for themselves.

Pompey meets Sulla, using Iphone's new cartoon filter.

Henry 'soft-lightin', Jew-hatin' Ford

Louis 'smoke'm if you got'm' Chevrolet

Patent pending; The Chevrolet Pompey Hover-car;

family model.