Why you never should have a hockey player do anything in social media.

This is pure awesomeness; The Penguins James Neal agreed to do a Twitter AMA (ask me anything) under hashtag #askneal.

Go here to check out the hilarious outcome and grab pad and pencil to plagiarize some of these awesome hockey-related insults!

or cut and paste this into your address bar;

http://www.crossingbroad.com/2014/03/the-penguins-askneal-twitter-hashtag-went-horribly-wrong.html

12000!

Sometime in the last hour, this blog hit over 12000 views. What that means? I don't know...my ego feels much like that guy in the picture. I honestly can say I could not have done it without you. And by you, I mean the Vancouver Canucks. You have given me so much to think about that most days I prefer being a Dad and doing Dad-like stuff that doesn't involve teaching my kids about disappointment, self-destruction and why being an imaginary Canuck goalie is the worst possible thing to pretend to be in a game of road hockey.

But it's been fun. Kind of like picking on that guy who's a bit of a douchebag but doesn't know it yet. Or watching stupid people on Youtube do stupid shit.  [video not found] . 

So, to reader #12,001 - I think this blog will get better. Unless you are a Canuck fan. Thanks for checking in.

The Return of the Saint (Patrick)

Thoughts on all That Is Patrick Rahh

Hey, I think we have the same barber.

Change of idea here. I started a mini-editorial a couple days agon on the return of Patrick Roy to Montreal after watching a TSN exclusive interview that did everything but actually show the interviewer giving Roy a hand job on-camera. The rough draft is below this but I got bored as I usually do when i find that I am not being entertained by what i am writing. You can read it if you wish, it's at the bottom of this piece but it's not very good - it's just a rough draft of where I was going with it.

The central idea was that 'History is written by the winners' and here was Patrick Roy rewriting history of his infamous walk-out.  I am old enough to remember that night Roy quit on the team. I even watched some of it, amazed that Detroit was already leading 7-1 and it was only the second period. I saw the clip that has been played repeatedly whenever a Patrick Roy/Montreal Canadiens story plays. I also remember some of the events of the following week and although I was not life and death involved with the shit storm happening in Montreal, I do recall reading about some of the events a bit differently from other sources other than Patrick Roy and TSN after the fact.

I remember thinking after 'Le Trade' how nice it was of the Habs that they traded Roy to the Quebec Nordiques which had recently been rebranded as the Colorado Avalanche. I was pretty perplexed at the move as at the time i truly believed that the Nordiques were legitimate Stanley Cup contenders with something to prove to a certain #1 draft pick Eric Lindros who refused to play for the team. With Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Claude Lemieux, Valerie Kamesky and Adam Deadmarsh in their prime, a Stanley Cup veteran and fellow psycho goalie Ron Hextall in net, and the incentive provided by Big E's snub, they only needed one or two more pieces to be taken seriously. Then they get Roy and Canadiens captain Mike Keane and I thought 'WTF, Montreal? Why not just give them the Cup?' and 'WTF Quebec? Couldn't wait one more year?'.

Did anyone know that this was Quebec's last attempt at rebranding itself?

Brought to you by OgieOglethorpe; The More You Know

Just Like My Father...

Holy shit.  The Canucks gave up 7 goals in the third period to lose to the Islanders (YES! Those Islanders!) 7-4. Poor Eddie Lack, only a week removed from becoming the Canucks #1 goaltender. Talk about foreshadowing...

But I can't talk about this. Or Rich Peverly. Hockey, you need to stop being so damn dramatic or the rest of America may just catch up to how freaking awesome you are. I can't recall the last time any baseball player has ever died in mid-game (literally died, not figuratively died from boredom). So let's move on. I really need a break from all the drama. 

Oh yeah, the answers to this post were A)Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin And Hobbes, B) Daft Punk - creator of fashionable full face motorcycle DJ helmets and C) Jack Handey, perhaps the 2nd funniest one-liner man out there (after Stephen Wright, of course). But let's get up close and personal, let's talk about Dads (because according to my byline, we are people too). 

The trick to finishing anything is total concentration and a high level of ignoring.

Dads. 

You either love'm, hate'm or don't have'm. In which case you probably hate'm. For those that grew up with Dads, they were either there too much or too little. They were either huge assholes or huge pussies. They made rules, brought out the strap, taught you how to shoot a gun. Or didn't. Maybe they beat you and drank too much and got you high and shared a jail cell with you. I don't know what your personal story is but there is one thing I am pretty sure that all of us said at one time or another "I'm never going to be like my Dad."

All-Time WTF Canucks Moments or And the winner of the Vancouver Goaltending Controversy is... Eddie Lack?

Little does he know by next week his life will be hell.

Man, here I was thinking i'd be done writing about hockey for awhile, maybe write something about being a dad then Mike Gillis goes off and does something that shocks most of the hockey world more then seeing that Iron Mike Keenan in Russia documentary on Sportsnet. Luongo finally gets traded for a 3rd string goalie, only months after the Canucks dealt away their other #1 netminder, Cory Schneider.  In less than a year, the Canucks have lost 2 starting goalies, their most successful head coach, and the once dominant scoring machine Sedins are both approaching their worst offensive outputs in their careers.  

But how does this rate in the Vancouver Canuck all-time list of colossal WTF moments?

Here's my Favourites, in semi-random order.