And now for Something Completely Different...

If you are like me, you are probably sick of reading about hockey. In the end, was it worth Russia spending $111 Billion  to create a place called 'Sochi' just so Canada could lay waste over the hockey landscape once again? Was it worth the $28 million directly spent on sending a bunch of Canadian athletes over to Russia? Or the $20,000/$15000/$10000 financial reward to each athlete that brought home a medal which Air Canada didn't lose on the flight home? For the record, the 25 medals Canada won don't include the 47 individual ones (excluding coaches) awarded to the men's and women's hockey teams for their annihilation of the rest of the world's hockey self-esteem (or any of the other team events for that matter). 

So, rough estimates make that 10 Gold medals (really 55 inc. hockey teams at 20G apiece, 10 silver at $15 G apiece and 5 bronze at $10G apiece.  Who has a calculator?  That's roughly $1,300,000 in reward money. There may have been more 'team' medals but i wouldn't know as i didn't pay attention to any of the other preliminary sports that were mere eye candy while we waited for our hockey teams to destroy Canadian good will.  

Good investment for our tax dollars? That's nearly $30 million directly spent on the 220+ athletes that attended, excluding 'training subsidies' - which is kind of like unemployment insurance but instead of working, you are training in your chosen sport which is why you can't find a job. I'll leave that to your own discussion. For some athletes, it's not about the money (mind you those are the NHL players who make more than $20,000 per game on any given weeknight). And being good ol' Canadian boys, they may just donate it to charity anyways, like this great role model/Olympian/non-stanley cup winner did back in 2010.

So, Let's Move on to Something Different.  Name that Person!


These are people that you know. But you don't know. Maybe you do know them but I don't so I googled them, just in case they are living next to me and I didn't know it. It's like stalking, but not - because I'm just curious a little bit about people who become famous without relying on a huge Public Relations media blitz in order to 'Brand' them to their product. It's not like I'm going to become best friends with them unless they are my neighbour, in which case I most definitely will.

The Olympics Day-Late Update Team Canada vs. Team Sweden 4 The Gold Entry #8

Drew Doughty Vs. the World 

Entry #8

WORLD'S GOVERNING BODY REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE TEAM CANADA SUPREMACY
(OR)
NEW WORLD ORDER REJECTED. STEVE YZERMAN RESIGNS

The Proposed New "Eh" Team (trademark pending)

The Female version of the "Eh" Team (trademark still pending)

It happened quickly. Minutes after Team Canada defeated Team Sweden for the Olympic Gold medal in hockey (the only sport that actually mattered), the United Nations quickly blocked a motion put forward that Canada be the only nation to resolve world conflicts in the best interest of all. The ramifications were immediate. The Ukraine stopped fighting and arrested their suddenly deposed President. The Egyptian government, put in power after the "not going to call it a coup" military railed against their democratically elected Muslim President also announced it's resignation. In Afghanistan nothing happened at all which was highly unusual, except someone fucked a goat. But nothing highly unusual.

The Olympics Day-Late Update Team Canada vs. Team "America" Entry #7

Drew Doughty Vs. The World

Entry #7

TEAM AMERICA PERFORMS SMALL MIRACLE - KEEPS DOUGHTY OFF SCORE SHEET, 
STILL LOSE

(OR)

TEAM CANADA DEFENDS NATIONAL HONOR - AMERICA HAS TO KEEP BIEBER

Highest stakes since 1987

It was labelled as perhaps the biggest rematch in Olympic hockey history in the last four years. Team America, averaging a blistering 5 goals per game in the 1st round of the 2014 Olympics, was out to redeem themselves against their Northern Nemesis, Team Canada. Their last meeting was another scar on the American Winter Olympics psyche, losing a tense, action-packed gold medal game in Vancouver in 2010. The Americans were looking for redemption. Team Canada, averaging a stellar 1 Drew Doughty goal per game in the 1st round, were trying to fulfill every Canadian's wish to keep Justin Bieber in the United States.

The teams circled each other warily for 60+ minutes, with both teams refusing to even enter their respective dressing rooms until the other went first. It was a game heavy on a defense-first and only mentality as both teams used their considerable offensive talent to continually hold the door open for their defensive corps and try to catch up to them when they were in the offensive zone. Both teams worked equally hard at boring the other team and countries enough to force someone to make a mistake. Unfortunately for the fans, with both teams heavy on NHL talent, a boring, repetitive by-the-numbers game was exactly the type of game they watched.

"It was just like the first half of the year," said Cory Perry, "only without the scoring."

For the Day Late Update

The Olympics Day-Late Update Team Canada vs. Team "Latvia" Entry #6

Drew Doughty Vs. The World

Entry #6

TEAM CANADA DESTROYS ODDLY FAMILIAR-LOOKING LATVIAN TEAM

(OR)

TEAM CANADA PETITIONS OLYMPICS IN REGARDS TO TED NOLAN'S CITIZENSHIP

Latvia's Near-Victory Parade,
Pictured; Latvian President for Life, Head Marshall and Team Goaltender Kristers Gudlevskis
with a few of his bodyguards

Everywhere a Canadian reporter looked for post-game interviews following Team Latvia's triumph of the will but not scoreboard over Team Canada, losing 2-1, there were familiar faces. Problem was they were all inside the Latvian dressing room. And they weren't Canadian, so the official statement said thereby all interview requests were denied.

"The peculiar similarities between the Latvian team and some of the players we know and play against in the NHL were oddly familiar. I mean the resemblance was uncanny." said Patrick Marleau, "Their number 19? He totally looked like Joe Thornton with his beard shaved off. He even said 'Hi, Pat' to me on a face-off."