8 TV Shows that Should Have Quit While They Were Still Amazing.

Another retro-post placed in my blog for posterity. Ironically, WC has now started offering the equivalent of 70 cents for every 1000 views for new lists. If I only waited a year, this article could have netted me $22.45...however I would lost copyright on it and could never be allowed to publish on my own blog. So, i guess this is $22 well spent. Enjoy, comments always welcome.

WhatCulture has already talked about a few shows that have jumped the shark or should have quit while they were ahead here and here. So consider this an ongoing series of shows that aren’t necessarily shows that should have been cancelled but more shows that became victims of their own success or shortcomings.

The early seasons of these shows are what made them what they are today, which unfortunately is usually just a shallow imitation of their early years. Perhaps you could split these series up like Law & Order; one half is the set up for all that made these shows great, and the second half is the semi-lame reason why some people just consider these shows ‘okay’.

8. Californication

Must watch Seasons 1-4

Or just start watching from Season 5 and pretend you totally get it.

David Duchovny was absolutely born to play the role of Hank Moody, a New York literary libertarian turned Hollywood wannabe screenwriter. The first four seasons are a hilarious X-rated romp through the libido (and liver) of Hank who basically drinks constantly and screws every woman he meets in LA despite trying to win back the love of his soul-mate Karen and their daughter Becky.

The first four seasons of Californication follow a tremendous, well-detailed story arc that starts with Hank bedding the under-aged daughter of his ex-wife’s new fiance and with the threat of this underage rape hanging over his career manages to maintain your interest for four seasons. Helping matters is the intense sexual comedy that Californication provides. The tight cast of Hank, Karen and best friends the Runkels plus an amazing assortment of guest stars such as Callum Keith Rennie as a Phil Spector-like party animal/music producer, Katherine Turner as Runkel’s sexually harrassing boss, Rick Springfield as himself plus some of LA’s best breasts leads to some of the best adult-oriented comedy I’ve seen that doesn’t pander down to the audience’s intelligence. What other show has someone go down on a woman ‘by accident’ or show a threesome with someone (Hank) obviously not really in the moment, not that it matters.

At the end of season four, it ends perfectly; the story arc started in the first episode is finally resolved and all story arcs come to an end in a way befitting the entire series. In Season 4′s final shot  Hank is seen driving off in the sunset in true Hollywood fashion and there could be no better way to end the show.

BUT…

Sadly, most likely due to it’s immense success and the all-important ratings, Californication was brought back to a shadow of it’s previous self, despite having all the main characters again. Season 5 tried to start the series anew, scripting a 3 year absence from LA for Hank Moody who once again comes back and tries to reassert himself into Karen and Becky’s life.

It’s difficult to re-invest in a series that ended so perfectly after Season 4. It’s like your best friend has left you to pursue their life in the big city, leaving you sitting alone at the pub nursing a pint then to discover them 2 months later sitting once again on the barstool beside you. It’s that scene between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting where Ben finally tells Matt that he hopes one day he won’t be there to be picked up to go to his bad job. Hank Moody was/is your best friend who was never going to be the one to stick around and that was okay.

The Rage that Is...Kevin Bieksa

Everyday he misses Byfuglien...

After last weekend's raucous display between the Calgary Flames and Vancouver Canucks off the opening face-off, there were really only two questions; how badly did John Tortorella need a vacation from his once-powerful now mediocre Canucks and 2, what is up with Kevin Bieksa?

First, let me state that I enjoy Kevin Bieksa. He seems to be a funny guy. He jokes with the assembled sports reporters like a high school quarterback that acknowledges the local nerd squad. He looks to be the type of guy that makes funny comments after the waitress walks away and is constantly daring you to do something stupid and because it's Kevin Bieksa, you kind of want to do it.

Retro Post 5 First Films of Innovative Filmmakers

So you’ve read a few film books, watched a LOT of movies, maybe even cut together a couple cute videos of cats and posted them on Youtube. Your ultimate goal is to remake Con-Air or perhaps to create a superhero movie based on your best friend’s underground comic book. When people hear you say you want to be in the movies, they think you want to an actor. But you know where the action’s at; you want to be in charge of it all, you want to DIRECT!

Yet, like everything else, directing requires a multitude of skills much like every other job; do you get along with people? Are you a leader? Are you organized? Can you visually tell a story that is entertaining and noteworthy? Do you know what a green screen does and where you can get one for cheap?

Directing fame can come one of two ways; you can go the long, slow easy route; attend film school, maybe start working at an ad agency, create a demo reel, shop it around the film industry, find work directing second unit stuff, avoid porn and cocaine, gradually gain a reputation of steady and dependable craftmanship which will one day get you considered to helm a Zooey DeJulia Roberts rom-com script that is so safe that terrorists rent it to waylay suspicion.

Or, you can go big and go hard; find people of like mind willing to work long hours for nothing. Beg, borrow and steal the money needed to shoot your film with decent cinematography and actors. Believe in yourself and your movie, shoot and edit it by yourself while eating crackers and cream cheese then find a distribution deal. Repeat the process until you are awarded the recognition, star power and director’s cut privileges you so richly deserve.

Here are 5 directors that went Balls In, taking risky subject matter and convincing other people to give them money so that they could live their dream. The got investors to believe that once they had enough money to shoot their amazing script, it would be so good they would make their money back plus more upon the massive distribution deal.

These 5 have been selected due to their somewhat humble non-Hollywood beginnings, their inane first projects and their continuing upward career trajectory due in some part to their ability to continually challenge themselves and their skill set by creating innovative and interesting films that move the industry forward.

The 2013 List of Reviewing The Best/Worst things From 2013

Ogie's 2013 Top 10 List of Things That Happened for Better or Worse in 2013

10 List-based Articles

My kids can't remember to flush the toilet, never mind 70 other things...

2013 seems to be the year that 'list-based' articles really went viral. Who am I to complain? I accomplished a giant step in my writing by having over 20 articles published by a webzine that specializes in the fan-based list format without the high bar of objective opinions or relative current subject matter.

Despite my success and their low standards, I have grown to hate List-Based Articles. It is a sneaky way to drive website traffic to make said website more attractive to the hated pop-up advertisers (which this website is becoming increasingly annoying for). Every time a reader clicks 'next' or 'continue' on a webpage that counts as another hit for that website. So although you are one person reading a list of 20, the web traffic control thingy reads it more as 20 people reading one list. 

Lists tend to be highly subjective and really pointless (says a guy with about a dozen published lists). Lists tend to dumb down a thought-provoking subject into a basic subjective opinion-orientated argument. Do I really care that #3 on Miley's worst fashion mistakes is not #1? According to the comments, some people actually care enough to argue why TDKR is a good movie, despite all the evidence to the contrary. 

Yet, list-based articles are here to stay. They are mind-entertainment for your eyeballs. Giving a set limit to your subject creates a count-down of such, where readers are more than likely to finish off a list of 10 if they are already on #7 than if it was just a long, well-researched article on why The Dark Knight Rises sucked donkey balls. Lists state automatically that there is a limited commitment involved, depending on how high you wish to count. 

12 Days of Christmas Not-Christmas Movie Marathon

12 Days of Christmas Not-Christmas Movie Marathon

Well, this one was a bit out there and in terms of Christmas, now a bit late. But maybe you want to do a movie marathon this weekend, this could be a list to get you through it...it was rejected for valid reasons of which I am not able to explain here. Perhaps it has something to do with Christmas and the #1 movie being Jewy...

Christmas is here, yet again. Time for some of us who don't like to be force fed Christmas cheer to hunker down in our Xmas-proof bunkers and avoid all things festive society spews forth. It's a time when we wonder why that 'Festivus' idea from Seinfeld never took off. Instead of complaining about it, why not just sit back and cruise Netflix or internet website lists for movie recommendations to get you through the season? 

So here's my Christmas gift to you, ogieoglethorpe reader. After all, who better to give you classic movie recommendations than me, a perfect stranger? And I'm nearly as perfectly strange as they come. I once met Quentin Tarantino and given this once in a lifetime opportunity, asked him if he ever had a Nutella and banana sandwich (he hadn't). It was a highlight of mine before he launched into a stream of thought ramble of the movies he watched that weekend.

So if Tarantino can gorge on a random selection of movies why can't someone like you? These aren't even necessarily classic movies; they're just a sneaky way to tie in a random movie list with a Christmas/December type theme. Plus it gives you something to discuss with your mates if you are holed up at the Winchester arguing over which Simon Pegg movie was better.

So here are movies you may have seen, or not. They all have a number from the 12 days of Christmas in them and because I am a dad and watching a complete movie that doesn't have talking animals in them is a thing of the past, I only watched the trailers. Good enough. If you have kids you understand. If you are going to have kids one day, enjoy this time of uninterrupted movie bliss.