YOGA Cuz I'm Man Enough Day 7 and 8

When I last blogged, I had done 16 minutes of Ab-related YOGA which was neither fun nor relaxing. In fact, it felt suspiciously like exercising.

Then I did Day 7 and it went back to the more normal YOGA. Despite my video teacher's encouragement, I am still having trouble making it 'fun' and learning what she means by 'raising my heart' as it's anatomically impossible to actually raise a heart from its permanent place in your chest cavity.

Then I said 'Fuck it, it's Sunday and I'm not doing YOGA so we watched Derailed instead, an early 2000's movie starring Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. It was okay, the story of a husband who tries to have an affair with Jen but winds up getting blackmailed by a mugger to the tune of $100,000+ who threatens to tell his wife about catching him (just about) doing the naughty with Jen.
To make Clive seem like an even bigger jerk, his daughter has medical problems to choosing between paying off the extortionist or telling his wife and not risk his daughter dying, I'd go Plan B. I mean, he could just say the guy was full of shit about him having an affair as there's no proof of anything going on.

"Hey honey, remember that douche bag who mugged me and gave me a broken nose?"
"Yes dear. I'm glad you cancelled your credit cards so we can continue to buy Baby her special medication."
"Yeah well, the douche bag called my cell and said if I don't pay him $20,000 he's going to tell you I was having an affair on you."
"That bastard."
"I know, right?"

But that would make for a lot shorter movie. Plus, and not spoiling something too much here but there's another guy that gets set up and killed but nobody seems to care about his wife. The least Clive could do was send her a message letting her know her husband isn't as big a jerk as she might think.

Anyways, Monday was back to YOGAing. Day 8.

It still sucks because it was all about sitting cross-legged and touching your chin to the floor which I can't do - Never have and never will. A lot of the other stretches just reminded me of the calisthenics we used to do before football practice, only we weren't being softly told to be all 'at peace with ourselves' and 'make it fun' and 'lift your heart' while we were doing it.

After I confessed to my wife that I totally understand why 'Real Men' don't do YOGA. I'm not Ron Swanson, but I'm kind of feeling like him...