Sunday 22 May 2016

Yoga. Cuz i'm Man Enough.



It's been a long time since I've posted anything so let's get right to it. I'm out of shape... well, not really out of shape, I'm a volunteer firefighter and every year we have to do a fit test to make sure we won't collapse on site from a massive heart attack. It's roughly 3-5 minutes of heavy exertion and then we are done until the following year. And not to humble brag but since I've started I have cut down my time by nearly 1 minute.

So, I'm not weak out-of-shape, more body out-of-shape. From the front there's nothing surprising. Basic rectangle torso, 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 chins. I feel pretty good with myself if I am talking to you straight on. Shoulders are wide, most likely a benefit from playing hockey and football in my teenage years.

But when I turn for the side profile, still rectangle. And not the skinny rectangle type. Like the square rectangle type, like a 20 story office building type. That's where my issues come in. I'm not 'barrel-chested' nor 'beer bellied'. I'm stocky but the stocky is starting to slip a bit, the belly is starting to hang over the belt, if you know what I mean. There's a overhang forming on the bottom floors of the office building. I know it, my wife knows it but you know... politeness. She's here to encourage me and remind me to drink some water now and then but I have to be careful with this - if I show too much interest in getting in shape, she will say we should go out for some real physical exercise, like jogging.

Men, take note - if you are dating someone and they want to do some exercise with you, make sure you can at least keep pace before committing. I dated one girl, she wanted to play tennis. No problem, just a lot of lateral movement, short bursts of energy, it was fine. Golfing? Again, no problem. Run up University Hill? Sure, if she can do it, why couldn't I? Well, University Hill is about 3 kms long and a decent 40 degree ascent. I couldn't do it. I knew I was in trouble after the 3rd streetlight, stopped after the 5th. There's probably about 15 streetlights. She kept going and I said I'd catch up. I didn't. She ran and ran and ran - turns out she's not only good at tennis and golf, she also runs marathons. i walked to the top and waited for her. Turns out she ran another 5 kms before turning around to find me waiting for her. She dumped me shortly after.

So when my future wife invited me to run with her, I made a stipulation - it had to be on a track, preferably one that went in a circle. I also asked her how many laps we were doing (3). I could do that. And I did. I also went for a short run the day before AND I remembered to stretch. And like I said, she's now my future wife and I want to get my body mostly back to where it was before the kids and the leftovers started piling up.    

So with that in mind, I'm trying to make the commitment to once again, change this shape a little bit. But not too fast - that way has never helped me. I go for a week or two, then forget about it. I lead a rough, non-routine lifestyle, 3 graveyard shifts, 2 kids that can't take care of themselves yet, a loving wife who likes to snuggle, a day job, a dream job, and the fire hall. It doesn't leave me much time to myself but here it is, I'm going to do a Yoga 30 Day Challenge.

Now, just so I remember where my head is at - I hear yoga, I think women wearing tight pants. Basic man thoughts. There might be one or two douchey guys in the class. It's a white person's version of Tai Chi. I understand that it helps align the spine and such, perhaps align my 'cosmic chi' so I feel more refreshed to go onto other, bigger things, like sit-ups or jogging.

I'm not going to class - I'm just youtubing it in my front room. I don't have the time/resources to dedicate to a class time - it's going to have to be when I can carve it out of the day.

I've just did Day One. All I could think of when I'm copying the lady is that this was sort of like doing warm-up stretches before football practice. But where back in the day, we would 'push' each other by yelling, she just talks about breathing and stuff. It was kind of annoying. It went for 30 minutes, I may have been annoyed because I had an audience watching which interrupted by Zen.

I'm not refreshed or had an epiphany or anything of the sort. But I've started and can commence countdown. Day 2 or Day 29, depending on whether you like to count up or down.

And oh yeah, as I wrote this I had a bowl of Chicago Mix because I haven't eaten since breakfast.

No comments:

Post a Comment