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| Here there be Spoilers.... |
Canada. The poor b*stard stuck between America’s arrogance and British self-righteousness. Like an over-compensating eldest child, it also strives to keep the peace with its First Nations population and their French step-sibling of a province, Quebec. We are internationally known as the nation who say sorry when you step on our toes, unless you are on a hockey rink – then it’s every nation’s ankles for itself. We strive to be culturally diverse, yet try to have a culture of our own (which is pretty much impossible when your closest competitor is the United States).
In an effort to maintain or create a cultural heritage of our own, Canadian filmmakers usually turn to the Canadian government for film financing. Telefilm Canada is much like what BBC Films is to British filmmakers. Canadians fund Telefilm through taxes, so it goes to say that it’s pretty difficult for the general public to justify allocating money to Telefilm when its films are generally regulated to the art-house circuit (which most of the public presumably thinks is an actual art house, where one buys art and good quality posters).
With a mandate to fund only films that uniquely (and often vaguely) express the Canadian identity, it is a source many beginning producers often try to tap into, usually with limited results. Of course, it helps if you have already distributed a film to positive reviews and sales, but for beginning filmmakers, odds are you will have just as good a chance as receiving financing from a community bake sale than from the cost-conscious Canadian government. When government cut backs are announced, Telefilm (and Canadian filmmakers) tend to feel the pinch more than most.
Yet, despite the dryness of recent Canadian films, here are 13 of the Canadian government’s most embarrassing – if not successful – films, all of which became legends in their own right…
13. Pin (1988)
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| I feel a draft... |
During the 80s, horror was all about Stephen King adaptations, and although this tale has nothing to do with said author, Canada was able to pull out some decent low-budget horror flicks during the VHS boom. Pin is a great Canadian horror film, albeit one with a touch more heart than most horror films of the 80s. Pin delves (falsely) into the world of schizophrenia, when two orphaned children try to deal with the death of their parents.
While the sister is able to maintain a grip on reality, the brother falls deeper into a state of co-dependence with his doctor father’s full-size medical anatomy doll, Pin. As the brother and Pin’s relationship grows stronger, the sister is forced to try and regain her brother’s sanity. A rare horror where you actually care for the teens, Pin is an excellent example of low-budget film-making that is still able to stand the test of time.
12. Trailer Park Boys (1999)
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| Even the movie stills were low-budget |
If you don’t know Canada’s cult trio of Ricky, Julien and Bubbles, then you’re missing out. The Boys have been around for over a decade, mostly in television, as they continually try to make ends meet by growing dope, keeping the peace in the Trailer Park, or just making a driveway out of hashish. By far one of the most popular Canadian shows ever (as opined by predominantly male teenagers and cannabis lovers), Trailer Park Boys originated because a group of guys that met in high school decided to shoot a movie. The rest is history.
While there are some slight changes to this unofficial pilot, the integral story-line remains the same: the rum and coke-toting Julian is released from jail and hires a camera crew to document his life as he returns to his Trailer Park to reunite with his BFF Ricky and get back into the pet assassination business. Shot in black and white and on the cheap, it is a good introduction to the duo, with some cameos by future actors that would go on to become a major part of the show (here’s looking at you, Randy’s gut).
11. The Ginger Snaps Trilogy (2000-2004)
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| The one on the right is actually the alive one... |
What makes for a great horror? Take an existing genre (werewolves) and give it a unique little twist (girl werewolves). Maybe add in something to emphasise this is about teen girl werewolves (like puberty) and watch the blood (some of it menstrual) fly. Shot in the northern confines of Western Canada, Ginger Snaps is a movie of two sisters, one of whom (Ginger) is bitten by a werewolf. The younger sister (Brigitte) is the one who bears witness to the growing transformation of Ginger until the next full moon, where as per werewolf convention, all hell breaks loose.
This was another film that confounded critics when the similarities between the werewolf “cycle” and the female “cycle” were noticed and began to get more and more press. The talk became more of the sisters’ relationships, of girls’ embracing their sexuality and – above all – the power that is within them.
The two following films try to follow up on the main theme of the sisters’ relationship, which is difficult as Ginger is killed off in the 1st. The 3rd one added a unique twist to their story and rebooted the story back 150 years, where a good job is established in that the girls are always sisters and that the werewolf curse/story is a continual loop. They are doomed to repeat these events over and over. So it’s like Teen Wolf, but not.
10. Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (2006)
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| This picture really captures Julian's goatee |
Seven years after the original movie and a hugely successful Canadian television show, the Boys revisited the feature film format, but this time with their third musketeer Bubbles along for the ride. Sticking to the tried and true formula, this movie follows the characters that have evolved on television as the years wore on with no mention of the original black and white version.
Helmed as usual by fellow co-creator and high school bud Mike Clattenberg, the movie catches up with the Boys as they are released from prison (again) and return to the trailer park to find it in complete disarray as usual. The Boys conspire to make ‘The Big Dirty’, their latest get-rich scheme all the while being hampered by park superintendent Lahey and his questionable assistant/life partner and perpetually pot-bellied and shirtless Randy. Rickey attempts to marry his true love again and as usual there are a lot of F-words and good ol’ Canadian humour thrown in there with cameos by Canadian music legends Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip and Alex Lifeson of Rush.
9. Black Christmas (1974)
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| Typical Vancouver Canuck fan... |
Starring a pre-Lois Lane Margot Kidder, Black Christmas was a simple film about a sorority house closing up for Christmas. The only thing is that for the ones that are remaining they are continually harassed by anonymous phone calls and the occasional murder as the girls are picked off one by one. Over-shadowed perhaps by the released in the same year American-made Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Black Christmas nonetheless helped set off a storm of “stalker” films and helped to open the blood-gates to such later 70s and 80s films such as Driller Killer, Sorority House Massacre, April Fool’s Day, Hallowe’en, Sleepaway Camp and the like.
Black Christmas was director Bob Clark’s coming out party and his long-time commitment to the easy Canadian film tax credit that would see Canada fund his greatest hit, Porky’s whose success allowed him to make his pet project, the classic cult Christmas film, A Christmas Story. Bob Clark was unfortunately killed by a drunk driver in April 2007.
8. Bon Cop, Bad Cop (2006)
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| Loved you in The Wrong Guy... |
This bilingual buddy-cop film was touted as finally breaking the 20 year long box office record held by the low brow Porky’s (barring inflation). Not only did it manage to incorporate elements of typical Hollywood movies (i.e. gunfights, car chases, somebody dead), it also uniquely showcased the dual identity Canada struggles to reconcile. When a murdered body is found straddling the border of English-speaking Canada and French-speaking Canada, two cops must learn to work together – putting their cultural differences aside – to stop the crime.
This was a no-brainer on behalf of a Canadian government body trying to appease everyone, playing well in both parts of the country
7. Scanners (1981)
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| This? This is nothing... |
Odd ball cinema legend David Cronenberg is Canada’s answer to David Lynch, but with more productivity (more on that later). In this, his 5th movie, he serves up an X-Men/Blade Runner-esque sci-fi which is notable for perhaps the most paused non-titties moment in 80s VHS history: the exploding head scene.
Featuring a young – but still menacing – Michael Ironside, this film was written by Cronenberg as he filmed it, due to the strange Canadian film tax structure at the time. Given only 2 weeks pre-production time, Cronenberg had to have the movie written, shot and edited in 2 months. And he had to blow up a guy’s head! Roger Ebert gave it 2 out of 4 stars, so that’s telling you something right there. Love it or hate it, it’s still a cult classic.
6. Hard Core Logo (1996)
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| i got nothing. |
If there’s one thing that has lent itself well to Canadian filmmaking, it is the mockumentary style. While the mockumentary style is commonplace on television now, in the 90s it was still something of an unexplored format. Director Bruce MacDonald made a serious mockumentary dedicated to the story of a reunited and bitter punk band named “Hard Core Logo.” The movie follows Hugh Dillon (true lead singer of the Headstones) and Callum Keith Rennie as the two leads, as they try to adjust to being 20 years older and still anarchists.
A mockumentary with music and heart, it follows Hugh as he copes with the onset of being a faded punk rocker whose ideologies no longer fit the world he’s living in. They take one more nostalgic trip across Canada, playing in small crapholes to old fans and bored new ones.
5. Shivers (They Came From Within) (1975)
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| Seriously, Sex Zombies would have sold way better. |
If you had to pick one David Cronenberg film for a list of top Canadian films, your first response should be “that’s frickin’ ridiculous,”so here’s another early cult classic. Cronenberg (who puts the “C” in Canadian Cinema) was able to get the Canadian government to help him fund his first big feature: Shivers.
Shivers is the story of an alien parasite that infects the residents of an apartment building. Instead of going on a hunt for brains, though, these mindless zombies are on the hunt for some forceful loving. This was made during the time of George Romero’s follow-up to Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and so was most likely considered a low-budget knock off, which in a way it was. After all, it follows the usual format of people trying to escape the growing hordes of people who are turning into zombies. Only instead of wanting to eat your brains, Cronenberg’s zombies want to rape you. And you’re trapped in an apartment building.
While it sounds quite X-rated, the nudity is actually pretty limited, despite its story line. There’s quite a bit of implied sex (think of Tarantino’s frequent discussions on the actual small amount of violence shown in his films), but it’s not something you are going to be watching in 10 minute intervals. From this simple story of zombies, sex and sex-zombies, David Cronenberg went on to become the most critically acclaimed Canadian director ever.
4. Strange Brew (1983)
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| 'we invented koo koo koo koo koo koo choo'. |
In the early 80s, no two comedians better typified the Great Canadian North than Bob and Doug McKenzie (Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas), who shot to fame through SCTV, Canada’s version of Saturday Night Live. Following a best-selling comedy album, with the hit song “Take Off,” they went full-scale feature film.
Strange Brew was a movie that actually had some buzz behind it thanks to the success of SCTV. The plot centered around the two toque-wearing, beer-loving hose-heads who are forced to go out and get a job and accidentally discover a plot involving beer, world domination and – of course – hockey. The legendary Max Von Sydow played the evil mastermind behind the plan and follows in the same stupid-comedy genre of Cheech and Chong – only with beer.
3. Cube (1997)
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| Telefilm funding is behind one of those doors |
Moving on to intelligent fare, it’s Cube. Described as a science-fiction psychological horror in an effort to corner every market possible, this is the one Canadian-made film that is often on most cinephile’s cult lists, as it thoroughly engages the viewer in its puzzle box mysteries.
6 strangers wake up in a box, with a door on every side, some booby-trapped. In order to survive, they must solve a puzzle before moving onto the next room. All rooms are either white, blue, red, amber or green. As the tension (and the deaths) increase, so, too, does the question of what is the Cube for… who made it and why?
Shot as per Canadian specs on super-low budget by Vincenzo Natali, the Cube was actually only one room that was transformed into 5 different ones simply by changing the light gels. It even spawned a sequel which attempted to focus more on the origins and purpose of the Cube
2. FUBAR (2002)
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| Giving 'er, Terry and Deaner style |
When it comes to lovable losers, Canada’s hard to beat. I’ve already mentioned Trailer Park Boys and Bob and Doug McKenzie. Your grandparents might remember Wayne and Shuster, who were like the Smothers Brothers. Super Dave Osborne first rose to fame here in Canada. More recently, we were introduced by director Michael Dowse to another mockumentary about the lives of shotgunning BFF’s Terry and Dean (David Lawrence and Paul Spence), two heavy metal wannabes who really want nothing more in life than to party, get drunk and party some more – while waxing nostalgic for their since-domesticated former party leader Tron.
The movie dips into surrealism as the guys continually show off for the camera and strangers in character. In one pre-Borat scene they befriend some locals at a small town pub. The locals then proceed to have a real fist-fight for the benefit of the documentary crew. So when that guy is looking for his punched out tooth, he’s really looking for his punched out tooth.
A hard knock to the balls brings the movie back into reality and forces the character arcs to curve as tough decisions have to be made. These choices and the boys’ interactions with the documentary crew and its director, Farrel (Colin Skiling) make this movie more than just a comedy. The reception it received justified the making of FUBAR 2, which again hits the same notes of real-life and satire as the first installment, as the boys head up to the Promised Land, Oil Country Alberta, to make some of that great coin that is legendary throughout Canada.
1. Porky’s (1982)
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| typical day in a Canadian high school in the 80's |
Porky’s is an interesting case in the whole government-funding movies thing, and it led to the great Cultural Change of Film Funding. Often cited as one of the worst examples of what Canadian Government should not be financing (as determined by Canada’s cultural elitist watch dogs of the time), it nonetheless is the most successful Canadian box-office film in history. Although it was filmed in Florida and directed by previous entry Black Christmas’s Bob Clark, himself an American, nobody was prepared for the truckloads of money this movie raked in when competing against its American neighbours.
Porky’s was the simple story of rowdy teenagers wanting nothing more than to party and spy on girls in locker room showers, as per usual 80s stereotypical teen comedy protocol. Porky’s success led to the flood of teen-centered sex comedies of the 80s (you’re welcome) and it all has to do with the government of Canada helping to realize a dream – a dream that involved a guy named Pee Wee losing his virginity and sticking his penis into a glory hole. After the public outcry over such taxpayer-funded filth, the Canadian government entirely rebranded their film division, which would cause it to go into a decades-long spiral of funding more socially conscious yet box-office bombing films that still lingers to this day
Forget any? Agree? Disagree? Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments!
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