The Other Off Season Game Plan - Sabres Edition

Big disclaimer - I know very little about hockey as compared to Scott Cullen, residential fanatic analytic expert (read; stats geek) over at TSN. But I do have an armchair and computer and also like to sit in front of it from time to time and think about our great game of hockey and the Buffalo Sabres. So when I read that Scott is pulling together his personal game plan for each team in the NHL, I thought I would do the same, only not get paid for it.

Not exactly a happy bunch last year

But to do what Scott does it would mean I have some idea of what Scott is saying and either agree or disagree with him. I don't know any of these new stats that is all the talk this year; a SAT%REL looks to me like some type of code for NASA or perhaps a tricky algebra answer. I'm just an outsider looking in, kinda like your girlfriend's best friend that you put up with because you have to and don't want to appear rude although you know she hates you. Sort of like how Connor McDavid must feel after the lottery.

So let's see what we can do to fix the second prettiest girl at the ball, The Buffalo Sabres.

Just because it's a Wednesday...

Apparently not photoshopped, this is the NHL's version of 'Opposites'. The Big Guy needs no introduction, but for the record he stands 6'9. 

The little guy there is Buffalo Sabres Nathan Gerbe, this decade's Cliff Ronning, standing at 5'5.

the more i look at this the more questions i have...

yep...he has always been this tall...

Bieksa's probably saying "Eat Burrows first, he's wiry."

Gerbe and Chara in action, so...not photoshopped.

In my day, sticks didn't do that...

Cody and Liev...

So, in other news, one more credit to the pile of things that really have no bearing on real life.

Like Cody Hodgson's new team, the Buffalo Sabres and the recent suspension of Patrick Kaleta for this hit on Brad Richards or 'what happens when a 3rd liner hurts a 1st liner in today's NHL'.

Kaleta's defense was 'his body just did that' and was referred
to as the 'No Push Theory' by Buffalo conspiracy theorists.

You can read about something else other than hockey here.

Or you can think...man, Cody reminds me of someone.

                

This is Cody who thinks he was
born of normal parents

This is Cody in 20 years after he learns his father
was Stan Smyl