Business Insider Does Cult Films; a Review

spoiler alert - there are only 3 movies from this mural on the list...

It's a sad day when I click on a link to Business Insider where they have a breakdown of box office bombs that went on to become cult movies because, you know, nothing screams out cult movies like a list in Business Insider.

Am I bitter? Maybe. Maybe just more annoyed. I used to do a few lists once or twice. Then I realized there was no reason why my list is better than say, yours or your mom's (other than my own sense of humour embedded in the list reasoning). But I read this list anyways and thought to myself; if everyone knows these are cult movies, are they still cult movies? Is Mormonism still a cult because it's a weird offshoot of another bigger religion that is followed by a certain type of people who get along great with each other but have trouble relating to the rest of the world? Doesn't that also describe people who watch cult movies?

So I went through the list and I'll give you a list of the list. These were movies that did relatively poor at the box office but found life afterwards in either DVD, VHS or TV. The definition of a cult movie by the writer is pretty all encompassing, so I'm going to score the writer's idea of a cult movie with mine.

YOGA Cuz I'm Man Enough. Day 9

I might not be man enough...

I did Day 9. I complained. I am not having fun, no matter how much the youtube teacher is telling me to. My back continues to hurt. My wife says that's good. I say that's not good. She suggests maybe I should do back YOGA. I agree. I say I will look into it. Instead I played Borderlands 2 for 2 hours...

So I missed Day 10, although it was called '10 Minute Yoga'. Now I'm at work, and unlike last week, I'm most likely not going to do it at here. Instead I am going to work on the sequel to my novel, EaFoM 2, thinking a post-publication name change is in order.

Tomorrow Day 10...

YOGA Cuz I'm Man Enough Day 7 and 8

When I last blogged, I had done 16 minutes of Ab-related YOGA which was neither fun nor relaxing. In fact, it felt suspiciously like exercising.

Then I did Day 7 and it went back to the more normal YOGA. Despite my video teacher's encouragement, I am still having trouble making it 'fun' and learning what she means by 'raising my heart' as it's anatomically impossible to actually raise a heart from its permanent place in your chest cavity.

Then I said 'Fuck it, it's Sunday and I'm not doing YOGA so we watched Derailed instead, an early 2000's movie starring Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. It was okay, the story of a husband who tries to have an affair with Jen but winds up getting blackmailed by a mugger to the tune of $100,000+ who threatens to tell his wife about catching him (just about) doing the naughty with Jen.
To make Clive seem like an even bigger jerk, his daughter has medical problems to choosing between paying off the extortionist or telling his wife and not risk his daughter dying, I'd go Plan B. I mean, he could just say the guy was full of shit about him having an affair as there's no proof of anything going on.

"Hey honey, remember that douche bag who mugged me and gave me a broken nose?"
"Yes dear. I'm glad you cancelled your credit cards so we can continue to buy Baby her special medication."
"Yeah well, the douche bag called my cell and said if I don't pay him $20,000 he's going to tell you I was having an affair on you."
"That bastard."
"I know, right?"

But that would make for a lot shorter movie. Plus, and not spoiling something too much here but there's another guy that gets set up and killed but nobody seems to care about his wife. The least Clive could do was send her a message letting her know her husband isn't as big a jerk as she might think.

Anyways, Monday was back to YOGAing. Day 8.

It still sucks because it was all about sitting cross-legged and touching your chin to the floor which I can't do - Never have and never will. A lot of the other stretches just reminded me of the calisthenics we used to do before football practice, only we weren't being softly told to be all 'at peace with ourselves' and 'make it fun' and 'lift your heart' while we were doing it.

After I confessed to my wife that I totally understand why 'Real Men' don't do YOGA. I'm not Ron Swanson, but I'm kind of feeling like him...

 

I wasn't Man Enough... or was I? Yoga Day 6

Day 6 or nope nope nope.

I'm writing this from work, late on a Friday night. There weren't enough hours in the day to YOGA today. I worked night shift last night and then only slept for four hours before waking up for when my daughter got home from school. In hindsight, I should have done YOGA after I woke but I've been doing this with my partner so didn't feel right going on without her. And by the time hallway was painted, dinner was made, kids and dog were taken out for a walk and put to bed, it was 9pm. Having to go back to work at 10, I opted for a 1 hour nap, promising myself (and her) I would do 2 days of YOGA tomorrow.

You know... to make it fun.

Down like a downward dog...

but then...

I realized hey, this computer has Internet. I could still do Day 6, just without my partner. Who cares if it is 1 AM? So I DID YOGA!

And now, I'm glad I wasn't with my partner. It was 'Abs Yoga' which is nowhere easy as the last 5 days. I was frustrated, barely able to do the YOGA things. I know she could do it and although I hate to admit it, I hate to have her watch me fail. And all I had to do for Day 6 was basically keep my legs up in the air for 15 minutes. Of course, I didn't know that going in.
It was impossible. Today was the day I had to take lots of rests - I don't have Abs, I can't lift my legs up 90 degrees, much less bring my knees to my chest. So I went until I hurt, then I went 'ARGGGG' and put my legs down and rested, telling myself not to quit, it's only 15 minutes...

So I did it. No downward dog, no cobra or volcano - just a bunch of variations of leg raises.

It sucked. But I did it.

Tomorrow Day 7...

Cuz I'm Man Enough YOGA Day 5

This video instructor said 'make it fun' so many times today I wanted to punch them in their video face. Saving grace is the videos have become increasingly shorter from 32 minutes in Day 1 to only 16 minutes today. By the end of Day 30, it should be down to twenty seconds. Here's hoping...