Done! (Again)ng

Nobody really to brag to about this-especially as nobody is really waiting for it. But it took me another six months of sporadic editing, delayed by summer to trim Flies down about 2800 words. Sure it's tighter, and I've changed some names but will it shoot me up the best-seller list? Nope. 

And I see that there is another SPA in my neighbourhood; more chick-lit. I'm torn because I'm happy for them of course. They're completing what they love doing. Sorry, they have completed what they love doing...20 books so far. Crazy! Congrats to her for doing what she does. But back to me. 

So yeah, I've finished Flies...again. Should I resubmit, wait another 6 months? I still have no idea how to sell this. 'it's a murder mystery told from three different points of view, told in three different points of view." 

That's actually pretty good. I should add sex in there somewhere. It would be fun if i could make it subtle, like ItS EXciting to read or ... I'll have to think about it. 

Anyways, but the writing gets me on my old stuff that I would like to put out there before I die. That would be nice. I'm never going to be a KV jr or Doug Copeland but I do enjoy their stuff. If only there were no bills in my life, what could have happened?

At least my secret blog is still there until that website goes the way of MySpace and LiveJournal. It has lasted through a lot of temptations from other sites; wordpress, wattpad... a few others I already forget. The newest one is this linktr.ee which I'm going to study up on now. Perhaps with my operation laying me up for a week, I'll get organized.

Until then, I'll ponder what to do with Flies. 

Here's a start of a spur of the moment query letter.

I'm submitting an 84000 word murder mystery told from three different points of view, told in three different points of view. The victims are teen sex offenders, plucked out of a residential treatment program meant to correct these young individuals' sexual predator instincts before they are released back into society, their minority age allowing them to avoid being registered as sex offenders. 

The three 'protagonists' are Detective Doug Bennett, a shunned detective whose marriage is breaking up after his son was found guilty of sexual molestation and is in the program the victims are from. Reed Fontaine, whose sister is missing in Thailand as he stays at home, caring for his aging, abusive father while working in a local group home that provides shelter for boys attending the treatment program. Johnny Taylor provides a foster home to kids in the program. His wife has left him over arguments about his job caring for sex offenders and their inability to have a baby. 

Their stories intertwine throughout the week as their paths cross, tensions mount, and accusations are made. Flies of Our Fathers looks at the damage caused by generational trauma from a male perspective and some of the problems and solutions needed to help sons and fathers be the best humans they can be.  

Something like that. I added a fresher version on my facebook page. Anyways, time for bed. 

September already?

 Yep. Whoop-ee-dee-doo.

I spent exactly 2 hours editing Flies since the end of June. And both those hours were yesterday. A busy fucking summer of renovating our bathroom. I think I spent about 4 days not in there working on some part of it, excluding the days going family camping. From experience I didn't even take my computer to work on it, knowing the chances of that happening were fucking slim to none. And i even forgot to write Father's Day letters to the kids this year, which admittedly was in June but ya fucked up.  

But now I'm editing the Thursdays, so only 6 more chapters to go; I've trimmed 2500 words, changed one suspect's name from Thomas Flowers to Cosmos St. Thomas, as I had some weird segue in there from Holly bushes and I couldn't clarify on the Internet if Holygyn (the old English name for Holly) meant prick. I also got rid of Johnny's drinking problem and re-worked his arguement with his ex-wife, who I think is named... Missy? Maddy? Hold up, i gotta check...Ashley. Her name is Ashley now, an Easter Egg from Evil Dead, if that is such a thing. 

Anyways, just an update that nobody cares about but future me. 

Hi bro - how far did you get in binging Always Sunny? You're on S3 now so don't say that hasn't helped distract you from the writing. Sacrifices, buddy. Sacrifices. And finish that fucking dolphin book. 

 Where did the time go? 

How did this get to be May already? My last round of query letters have now gone the full 6 months with no replies. That sucks. I've been becoming increasingly cynical of all the FB/Reddit groups I'm in; there seem to be only 3 or 4 subjects; How do I write my memoir? Who will publish my memoir? I'm so happy I published my memoir, how do i self-publish (or some variation of).

I feel ashamed that I'm part of these groups and more recently have been wanting to express my self-loathing on being on these sites, wanting the same thing all these people want; to be read. 

And I'm sitting with a novel ready to go, sitting in Kindle for the last 2 months, waiting for me to pull the fucking trigger and just press publish. Why am i so hesitant to just put it out there? Probably because I'm over 50 now and I don't want to be considered a 'senior' writer? I don't know. 

Plus, who really reads this shit anyways. I saw a therapist 5x at the start of this year. He ended it, not me. I wound up crying every time I saw him. Typical suicidal thoughts. 1st time, I told him I wouldn't call him if I decided to do it- I think that's when he realized I was really in trouble. 2nd time, he wound up crying. 3rd time, he tried to get me to find my happy place, i couldn't and he literally said 'oh oh' as I started bawling. We had a 10 day break after that. 4th time, he told me the next time would be the last time and on that 5th and last time, I barely cried which I guess we/he considered good enough.

So here I am. I'm still working on the dolphin rapist thing. It's pretty big; 180,000 words (est) so I'm trying to cut it down and I cut out this huge chunk but I'm reconsidering as of course, it ties to the end. I'm also confused as to if it's funny or not. People have been raped by dolphins. That's not funny. But it is. But it isn't. 

Anyways, here's a picture of an evil dolphin for the likes.