Part 1 of Many
Artistic Therapy.
Pestilence; The Spaghetti Incident Edition
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| One of the few remaining transitional stills I photoshopped for the movie. |
I made a new friend recently. I told him I once made a movie. He wanted to see it so I gave him the DVD to watch. He called later to say there was no DVD in the cover. I laughed and said something to the extent of 'oh, that sucks'. I haven't bothered to look for the actual movie yet and that was three months ago. Just another big chunk of my life gone with no souvenir to show for it. Even all my publicity work for is stuck in one of my old hard-drives from some old computer tower, waiting for me to see if I can mine it out.
Everybody has their skeletons in their closet. My biggest on, in terms of my artistic aspirations, was a movie with the working title of Pestilence. This is that story.
I've lost track of many of the people involved over the years; some became Facebook friends for this story pre-dates Facebook. For their own privacy, if they read this, they can feel comfort in knowing I have not used their real names. Except for Trey, cuz Trey was a jerk.
Now, I've always fought a personal philosophical battle of 'going with the flow' or 'fighting to make it happen'. Many of my jobs came because of personal connections, not necessarily because I was the one best suited for the job. I've often taken a passive role in my life and sometimes I am surprised I am still alive. In truth, I wouldn't be if it weren't for many of the friends I've made along my way that have encouraged me, made me laugh, and made me believe in being able to attempt my dreams. Not that it was always the best thing for me but often, we choose who we want to hear.
I pitched a movie idea to John Henson (of Muppets fame) because a fellow PA said I was 100% guaranteed to not have it happen if I didn't at least try. I met him half-way, mailed him my pitch instead of telling him in person. I'm still here...
So this is a story about 'Going with The Flow' vs. 'Making It Happen'.
Quick background, all of this which led me on the path towards Pestilence.
Many, many decades ago, riding the wave of Clerks angst and enthusiasm, I attended film school. Then I did a film magazine. Then I went bankrupt and returned to my hometown, where I rode out my bankruptcy in melancholy grace. I volunteered at the cable TV station, which led to me producing a children's TV show. That ended with a dispute with the children's performer which I might talk about later. But that show led me to a girl, whom I started dating a year later. I will call her 'Winnie'. She thought I had it in me to also be something bigger, like a private detective or someone who wrote greeting cards. She made me laugh and made me feel I could do anything. She once dared/encouraged me to go on a blind date after a girl mistakenly called me so I did.
Seriously. A girl like that doesn't come along too often. For the record, my blind date was loopy and by the end of the night had invited two other guys to join us. Perhaps it was me but I wasn't really interested in being there anyways.
Winnie and I talked of making a movie, she was interested in my past. She entered a short commercial into a beer contest but said she didn't want my help as she wanted to do it on her own. I respected that, although I found it a little strange and was a little hurt.
We shared a similar passion for wanting to do something more with our lives. So we did. And it ended in a battle of wills, with nobody coming out victorious. I don't know what happened to her, but here it is, fifteen years later and I'm working it out.
On to my therapy...
The Red Flags of Pestilence
Pre-Production
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| Actual Pre-production meeting: -Okay, here's all the roles we need to fill on a film set. -How many crew can we afford to pay? -Um...two, if you and I work for free. |
Let's start with pre-production. I went into this with the whole 'Kevin Smith' idealization that we could do a semi-successful low-budget movie, enter it in a few festivals and get 'discovered'.
As mentioned, I had some great people in my corner, encouraging me to do it. One I was dating, the other my best friend. My producer was a beautiful, gregarious go-getter with a mean independent streak in her. She didn't know the minutiae of filming but that's where I came in. I would explain it to her as we went. I worked for an airline in a different town. Due to the circumstances, that airline kept our relationship together and enabled me one great benefit; cheap tickets for flying my own golden Triangle between work, home and Vancouver, the heart of the film industry in my province.
So I wrote a script and we set a deadline. The plan was to do a campy horror movie, something like Evil Dead but with a Native angle, as I have always been interested in the myths of First Nations and thought they were tragically under-represented in terms of cinematic story-telling.
Our 6 protagonists would find themselves being slowly picked off one by one by an unseen force in the woods. My 'Ash' hero would have that weak-to-strong character arc as he battled to survive and also figure out what was going on. Nothing ground-breaking, but low-budget doable.
I was to be in charge of the creative, she'd do the business side of things, with help from me, as I had experience from low-budget shoots during and after film school. I created a media kit for her to show investors. It explained the plot of the movie, but more importantly, explained the business side of things, how they'd earn their money back, plus more. Once we shot the movie, we'd edit and then enter it into festivals and such. I envisioned some small sale to a distributor, maybe roll that into bigger and better things. Together we would move to Vancouver or Toronto and get into the 'Biz', officially.
Ambitious and delusional, we entered Autumn, hoping to start filming in the Spring. She found an abandoned cabin 30 minutes out of town. She tracked down the owner by going through some garbage in the cabin. We offered to fix up the cabin, remove a fallen tree and fix the roof of another cabin on the property which was to become our cast cabin. He said go ahead and before the snow fell, we fixed the roof of the cabin, received permission from the nearest neighbor to run electricity from their place and brought up a film school friend of mine to do a locations/camera test. He said he was willing to be my cinematographer and cameraman. I will call him 'Mel'.
When we got our first investor, we sent him a check to start putting down deposits on the equipment we needed to rent but I will get to that in a minute.
Now our first investor didn't happen until deadline day, the day I told 'Winnie' if we didn't have any money by then, we should forget about it. I was having second thoughts but again... maybe, just maybe if I had as much faith as her...
As the day came, I recall thinking perhaps it was for the best. It was just not meant to happen. Then she called and said she got someone on board for $5000. So I shrugged and thought maybe this was meant to happen after all.
She wound up getting two other investors after that and the excitement and bank account started to build, as well as the realization of what we (I) needed to do.
Winnie organized a casting call in our hometown. We needed at least six people; preferably ones who were unemployed or had adaptable schedules, could act and were willing to be outside a lot. I insisted on my best friend to be the American asshole, as he was often considered to already have half of that description down pat. For the record, I loved the guy.
We needed a 'nice guy', and we cast a young man who was up working on a Big Budget movie. He has since gone on to have a steady career in film and has become my 'I knew him when' story.
The third guy was someone we needed to be the hero, the weak, unassuming guy who would live to the end, to be Ash using the Evil Dead analogy. We cast someone based on strong recommendations and honestly wasn't that memorable during casting. Perfect.
For the women we selected a high school theater major to be the independent, strong one who could stand up to the Asshole.
We selected the Trophy Girlfriend, beautiful and willing to be fashion-forward and pretend to like the American Asshole.
Lastly, the First Nations girl. She was to also survive until the end, to help explain the native aspects of the story. She was a tiny woman and I honestly forget how we found her. I can't recall if she was at the auditions either but she was willing and enthusiastic.
There was also another guy I really liked at the auditions and selected him for one small part with no dialogue. He was really talented and hilarious but I saw one of the problems directors must face when you see someone who'd be perfect 'for something else'.
Anyways, all good so far. We had a cast, I had Mel down south, gathering equipment and finding a small crew, perhaps another cameraman and sound guy. I had another friend, interested in the behind the scenes and I asked him to be my Assistant Director, which is basically the one who handles more of the logistics of the shooting and a living band-aid for everything. I'd been one and found it is a thankless job if a shoot goes bad and a forgotten job if a shoot goes well.
I went back to work, had my AD do some table reads with the cast. I worked on a shooting script and storyboards.
We met a 'special effects' person from the local theater and asked him to create two props, a head for my decapitation victim and a totem pole made out of victim's body parts. The head would be the top.
And Cut.
Our (my) first real problem came with Mel, the guy who was going to film it, disappearing on me with our first big check, the down-payment on our equipment and his services. I didn't tell Winnie about this - as she had already expressed concerns of not hiring 'local'. In my defense, I didn't know anyone up there who had real big-movie camera and lighting experience, like Mel did.
When it came down to it, he was a good friend, with experience, who I trusted.
But he wouldn't return my emails, wouldn't answer the phone when I called. This went on for weeks.
I flew down to Vancouver one morning, rented a car and drove to his place. It was just after 8 when i walked up his street and saw him leaving his house, dressed in shirt and tie, like he was going to a bank appointment. There was little reason for me to expect what was really going on with him, which I will get to. If I was one minute later, I would have missed him so... this was meant to be.
Of course, he was surprised to see me showing up on his walkway so early in the morning. To make a long, uncomfortable meeting short, he apologized to me, said he couldn't do the movie anymore but had someone he'd recommend, a fellow DoP. He'd help him get the equipment and set up a meeting with 'Lester'. I asked him about the down payment I gave him and he said it would be given to Lester, his referral. I left, dazed.
It was only years later I would learn he'd become a cocaine addict and most likely spent all the money on drugs. I don't know how much he gave to Lester and I never asked.
I barely remember anything about meeting Lester. He was a DJ/filmmaker and had done a couple things himself. He had his own camera and was willing to do it for I believe $1500. We'd pay his airfare and find him a place to stay when he was up there. I never told Winnie about what really happened on that Vancouver trip, simply telling her Mel had to back out but I found an equal replacement who came highly recommended.
I recall Lester gave me a couple of books about directing actors. He had done a few things, and to be frank, I didn't feel I had a choice in this anymore. I could cancel the whole thing, disappoint everyone who believed in this, apologize and say we will try it again another time.
I didn't.
That was my first problem. I couldn't admit to my partner I made a huge mistake and kept the problem of my DoP putting the money we gave him up his nose hidden from her...
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