tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42793424909069486882024-01-29T00:29:44.471-08:00Letters For the UnderemployedThe Collected idle works of jay royston, not the other Jay RoystonsEditor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.comBlogger304125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-62703088994047661832023-08-26T00:26:00.003-07:002024-01-28T16:05:14.210-08:00Yes, I am still not famous. <h3 style="text-align: left;"> <br />On query letters, podcasts and fatherhood</h3><p>I've been spending some time listening to a podcast on writing, where three women critique query letters by hopeful writers. I've liked and hated it; the letters are basically all follow the same format; here's my genre, my word count, what the story is about and who the comparables are (meaning similar books). Blah blah blah about the arc of the story, a little bit about me to humanize me and the first 5 pages of a manuscript are critiqued. </p><p>I'm in a love/hate mood with it. First I don't love that of the 10 critiques I've listened to, every query letter has been by women. Second, I don't love that (spoiler) I sent out 5 intro letters to my top five specific agents a three weeks ago and not a word. I hesitate to call them query letters as they weren't for one book specifically, but a pitch for all of them. I also don't love that none of those intro letters were like what these ladies would want. </p><p>I do love most of the advice; clock in around 400 words; careful of comparing yourself to 'famous' authors, which is a bit difficult because I like to read the more tried and true. I'm no Kurt Vonnegut but I sure am influenced by him. Grab the reader at the start, show character arcs in your summary.</p><p>Anyways, the podcast has given me some ambition to look at my marketing again. The only one I feel is a slam-dunk of a one-liner is my current manuscript but the way it's going, it won't be for another year at least. </p><p><br /></p><p>Which brings me to a short topic about prioritizing and fatherhood. </p><p><br /></p><p>I annually hate myself when my birthday roles around, reminding me of pledge I made when I was 40 to get published. It's 12 years later and I still haven't achieved that goal. I totally get that a lot of it is on me; nobody is rushing to find someone who isn't making it easy to find. But a small epiphany- part of this delay in life goals is, yes, fear of success but it is also the responsibility of parenting. </p><p>I spent an hour today teaching my 10 year old how to play Risk, 30 minutes of him explaining a detailed map he drew. We made Kraft Dinner together. Last night, my 14 year old asked me to sit with her on the couch and we watched TV (9-9!) for a couple of hours. I've spent hours this summer ripping up weeds and replanting my lawn as it gave me a sense of completion and honestly, will make our home look better as my wife and I grow older here. Nobody else was going to do it. I've also spent many hours not with the kids, doing other things to avoid writing, which is such a cliche but it's true. It's so easy not to write and I hate myself when I don't, when I listen to podcasts of others who are that much closer than I am, Some were mothers and I wonder how their support system is; where their kids are. I read Danielle Steele has nine kids and has written 94 books. That sounds impossible on both counts. Nine kids? Where does she find the time to be a mother. Then I think, she likely doesn't. Now I've never read any of her books and likely never will but I'm envious of her output. That's a dedication to the art I simply don't have in me. </p><p>Yes, I could have used all those hours to write, not write, promote myself, draft query letters, get closer to my dream. Instead, I CHOSE (and I have to remember this) to be a good father, dad, husband. They come first, usually always come first and that is nothing to be ashamed of. No matter how litle I write in a day or week.</p><p>Families are what we make them. </p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-10879425401737770382023-07-23T12:05:00.003-07:002024-01-28T16:06:48.107-08:00My Next WoP/Passion Project<p> </p><p><br /></p><p>Everyone has some type of passion project. For me, my passion is not finishing my passion project. But I am working on it. </p><p>We all need dreams. I've rekindled mine of sorts, been spending a few hours a day over the last two weeks trying to print out this mess of a dystopian legal thriller novel which I envisioned over a year and a half ago. I know this because, thanks to Google Docs, it keeps a version history of my works in progress. </p><p>I think I found the original seed of this epic novel; it's from Jan 7, 2022. Over a year and a half ago. Crazy. </p><p>It is a meeting of potential sexual assault victims to create consensus of filing a lawsuit against a dolphin and the company that manages it. A lot of the original guts is there; five victims, an official rep from the company, at the time called Playa De Blanca; it's now a global vacation conglomerate called Great Holidays. </p><p>Two nights ago I night-dreamed of finding out the names of the agents of my top 10 favourite contemporary authors and sending off a query letter for representation. I had a good start in my head to the letter; giving two examples of roads to success, the one told to Michael J. Fox by his father when he wanted to become an actor and the one told to Kermit the Frog by Gonzo in the original Muppet Movie when he wanted to do the same thing. </p><p>I'm basically the Great Gonzo of writing. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiZRvOn2ynCcokEkf2Gm3cCLVnRXoEGnxYM3ab1w0JwrKws2wjKs5sJTUgC7LluJ_LE8HJguiLlEkt02Mewme6Gl3a1qHi4rwWJjL0i92muN4NAz434Aer7FJRraB4t1qiO48OFIGn6yxw3rv08YUtbNBvBHAxeo1LaFWXInBdvPbJgofFJYhv-tpj_aohm" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="348" data-original-width="300" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiZRvOn2ynCcokEkf2Gm3cCLVnRXoEGnxYM3ab1w0JwrKws2wjKs5sJTUgC7LluJ_LE8HJguiLlEkt02Mewme6Gl3a1qHi4rwWJjL0i92muN4NAz434Aer7FJRraB4t1qiO48OFIGn6yxw3rv08YUtbNBvBHAxeo1LaFWXInBdvPbJgofFJYhv-tpj_aohm" width="207" /></a></div><br />It was a good letter in my head. Here's hoping I will follow up on it. But first, edit and print one more chapter, which was really the first chapter i ever wrote and is now tentatively Chapter 18 of many...<p></p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-66767622141696333042023-05-13T17:47:00.001-07:002024-01-28T16:07:28.734-08:00A Secret that Rocks the Literary World, if they only knew about it. <p> </p><p>Wow. So many months since my last entry. That's because of all the press I am doing around my other projects is really cutting into this side project. Perhaps if I just admitted that jay royston is a pseudonym for the real me, a few more admiring fans may take an interest in this blog. </p><p>But for them to take an interest, they'd need to bite the worm, which if you've read this far, you have. </p><p>I believe this is called catfishing. I apologize to the real jay royston for appropriating your name and wonderful sense of humor in making this blog. I trust you like a good joke and won't sue. </p><p>So who am I?</p><p>Here's your first hint; I have a coffee in front of me. It contains 2 spoons of sugar and some cream, maybe one, maybe two. So cross off everyone you know who drinks it black, or black with sugar. </p><p>Still unsure?</p><p>The second hint is I have written 3 (maybe more) fan letters/email to authors of books I have read. There may be more but I don't really keep track of these things. I think if I told you who those authors were, you'd be too close to my real identity. However, I will say that one author was also a pseudoymn and wasn't an elderly wise Jeff Lebowski-type dude but more of a young Jeffrey Lebowski-type dude who wore seasonal Xmas sweaters instead of housecoats. </p><p><br /></p><p>I think that is enough hints for now. I shall enter my next set of clues in about 15 months time, in keeping with my current updating the blog schedule. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-84835801658575279422021-08-29T09:57:00.001-07:002024-01-28T16:08:40.693-08:00I levelled up in adulting.<p> </p><p>I earned myself a 12 foot aluminum fishing boat last year, doing it the old-fashioned way, bartering it from an obese neighbour who couldn't assist me in the building or paying of a shared fence. The boat had sat on an old utility trailer in the back corner of his yard and to which we stared at for the last five years, and after the bartering, found out it had sat there for twenty. </p><p>I spent most of last summer rebuilding the trailer from the frame up, because also when you are an adult, you should have a utility trailer (caveat, you don't need one if you don't have property). So I rebuilt the trailer and spent this summer slowly migrating the boat from our back yard to the top of the trailer. I also needed to invest in a means of propulsion, for despite it also coming with a 7hp 45 year old outboard motor, I felt an electric motor would be more suited for my needs; specifically a quiet trolling speed. </p><p>So for my 50th, I bought an electric boat motor and a battery to go with it. I also bought a fishing license, which is like an official ticket to enjoy the bounties of nature. </p><p>I have used the boat twice this summer, which is a 200% increase over last year. I have taught my boy the ritual of the Fisherman's Club, which is to jump overboard and pee while holding onto the side of the boat. He enjoys doing that. I have learned that the slower it goes, the longer the battery life. I have learned rowing is not as easy as it looks in the movies.</p><p>I have yet to catch a fish. </p><p>But I have a boat. </p><p>I levelled up. </p><p>yay. </p><p><br /></p><p>In other news, I was informed an ex-girlfriend of mine died last year of a brain aneurysm while running. She was 49 and one of those women who seemed larger than they were; who brought joy and laughter and excitement into my life and then when she left, it killed a part of me. She was someone who showed me how joyous life could be but I equated that to only being possible if she was there to point it out to me. I wrote poetry for her, wrote a short novella also about her that nobody has ever read. She was my first reader and my poetry made our relationship last maybe... two months longer? I can't exactly remember. However long it was, it wasn't enough for me, more than enough for her. It took a long time for me to get over her but that's on me. Life goes on until it doesn't.</p><p>I can only imagine how much laughter she and her husband for over two decades and I am sad to hear her life-timer is over. Just recently I had used her as an example to my daughter in a discussion about careers. My daughter had chosen 'computer designer' or something that sounded so establishment/stereotypical. My ex, on the other hand, 25 years earlier, told me she would love to be a do-wop girl, one of those girls in the background singing the ooohs and ahhhs while the singer did their thing. I loved that thought, someone not wanting to be the one in the spotlight, but instead being in the background, experiencing her own dream as she doo-wopped her way through life. </p><p>She never did become a background singer, but I'm sure she helped so many others in her joy, laugh and smile, do-wopping through life. Here's to you, SJ. </p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-48228537084153458282021-08-02T23:06:00.001-07:002024-01-28T15:52:24.152-08:00CoVid - A Year of Memories<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGkjc7nVI-23BlRr9BPmMdH1SNIIQdk6CsIAHVJOUg4rmqMDk9tbV_wSHW4KVbL_DCRlErFO5em6gIeeEjGFeKa7Dl-20CR-g6lpyVQSINMZ-TtvvWD5GArvQf1BhzpXhfanH7sfvmXIy-1wF1J3EJbK8CZFNWsY4Ak12YF8j6DV4rLJJx2eVxsVLAJUa/s1280/IMG_2655.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="719" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGkjc7nVI-23BlRr9BPmMdH1SNIIQdk6CsIAHVJOUg4rmqMDk9tbV_wSHW4KVbL_DCRlErFO5em6gIeeEjGFeKa7Dl-20CR-g6lpyVQSINMZ-TtvvWD5GArvQf1BhzpXhfanH7sfvmXIy-1wF1J3EJbK8CZFNWsY4Ak12YF8j6DV4rLJJx2eVxsVLAJUa/s320/IMG_2655.PNG" width="180" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>I have this picture on my phone, a screenshot I took March 3, 2020 which mentions a virus death toll reaches 9. </p><p>I think I took the screenshot because I thought it odd this virus (out of China) would make international news, make it all the way to this little corner of the Okanagan. </p><p>The same screen shot shows a headline about a tornado that killed at least 22. </p><p>So yeah, that was a pretty big jump in two weeks. But still, why would there be that mention 2 weeks earlier when it was only 9?</p><p>Things took a pretty big dump soon after. I recall there was a weird/funny rush on toilet paper; videos of Costco TP going as fast as the workers could unload them. A lady at work had a husband that worked there and confirmed that was what was going on. </p><p>Then my next screenshot is on March 18, 2020 stating the total, now called Coronavirus worldwide as 8,969. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizFgZaP8w3gy7JLx_SLVx6UMhI0r6FSAnrqO32UzeUYdwhen68TQ6Xv1pxffTdwzgx7KfAxPA1lFn7QBahq3ula0nnFIY4AFELcCInYJ9ze0RTsLkYwi5189O7DxRbSOV2rGnO9B8Yda2MylBGRcpZ6fTDmk6eLLXgG6kfa-JauP7ynX4mxNHvS-M6rrak/s1334/IMG_2704.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizFgZaP8w3gy7JLx_SLVx6UMhI0r6FSAnrqO32UzeUYdwhen68TQ6Xv1pxffTdwzgx7KfAxPA1lFn7QBahq3ula0nnFIY4AFELcCInYJ9ze0RTsLkYwi5189O7DxRbSOV2rGnO9B8Yda2MylBGRcpZ6fTDmk6eLLXgG6kfa-JauP7ynX4mxNHvS-M6rrak/s320/IMG_2704.PNG" width="180" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>According to Wikipedia, BC's first CoVid related death happened March 5th (a man in his 80s)</p><p>I believe Canada effectively shut down on March 17th, meaning for us, that the kids would be on an extended Spring Break.</p><p>We pretty much went full stop. I drove into town and it the roads were quiet; it felt like Christmas Day or a summer morning at 5am. So little movement.</p><p>In the days to follow, Trudeau announced the CERB, malls, restaurants (barring drive-thru), airlines, travel all shut down. </p><p>I recall thinking we were becoming really societally stupid when the District closed off all open spaces (like our local 10 acre dog park) with caution tape (due to CoVid). Then when it did open up, they had wrapped up the park benches with tape as well despite no evidence. NO SITTING! Because someone, without any scientific proof, hypthesized that this airborne virus lurked on every surface; you could catch it simply by sitting on a common bench or god forbid, reading a book from a public library. </p><p>While everyone was worried about their jobs, their bills, many utility companies put up a deferred payment plans for 6 months. Mortgage holders, those Big Banks, gracefully allowed mortgage payments to be deferred for 6 months (interest still accumulating) but no ding on your credit history. Soon complaints began of the stupidly long wait times to try to arrange this with said banks because they were all closed, due to CoVid. </p><p>Yet our town's Garden centers remained open (for mental health) which meant Rona/Home Depot/Walmart opened their doors to limited customers, making many wait in line-ups outside as they hurried to buy paint and materials for long-neglected home renovations. Smaller businesses complained to deaf ears about why they had to be closed, about how this all just helped big business, like usual. The rich got richer. McDonald's staff risked their lives so we could order our coffees and chicken nuggets, every time wondering if this would be our last meal, served to us by minimum wage people with no health insurance while we praised all the hospital staff in their overly-sanitized buildings and layers of PPE who were willing to put their lives on the line while waiting for the rush of virus victims who (must stress that this is in my small town) failed to materialize. </p><p>Then George Floyd was gradually choked to death by a cop who must have known he was being recorded and shit really started to get crazy again down south. Nobody cared about CoVid. Cops were not your friends. Riots happened, shit got real, many people were breaking the 6ft radius rule and the focus changed. Trump continued to do shitty Trump things, with only half of America caring, the other half cheering. </p><p>I questioned not the number of deaths, but the age. Of nearly 11,000 fatal cases in Canada, around 300 were not in care homes. That didn't make the news as much as I believe it should have. </p><p>I have consistently said the people dying were elderly and yes, it's bad and they deserve to die with dignity and being able to see their loved ones but they weren't. Last words were done by Zoom. It was shitty. Yet people still said no contact. </p><p><span face=""Noto Sans", sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 20px;">The average age of Canadians who died of COVID-19 in 2020 is 83.8 years. By comparison, the average age at death in Canada in 2019 was 76.5 years. Life expectancy is 82.1</span></p><table class="pub-table" style="background-color: white; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); color: #333333; font-family: "Noto Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 20px;"><tbody style="box-sizing: border-box;"><tr style="box-sizing: border-box;"><th class="col-left" id="h_221_1-1" rowspan="2" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; float: none; padding: 5px; position: static; text-align: left; vertical-align: top;">Region</th><th id="h_221_1-2" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">Deaths, due to COVID-19</th><th id="h_221_1-3" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">Average age at death, due to COVID-19</th><th id="h_221_1-4" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">Crude death rate, due to COVID-19</th><th id="h_221_1-5" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">Life expectancy in 2019</th></tr><tr style="box-sizing: border-box;"><th class="uom" id="u_221_2-1" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-weight: normal; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">number</th><th class="uom" id="u_221_2-2" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-weight: normal; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">in years</th><th class="uom" id="u_221_2-3" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-weight: normal; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">per thousand</th><th class="uom" id="u_221_2-4" style="background-color: #eeeeee; border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-weight: normal; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">in years</th></tr><tr style="box-sizing: border-box;"><th class="row-stub" id="s_221_3-1" style="border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-weight: normal; padding: 5px; text-align: left; vertical-align: top;">Canada</th><td style="border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">15,651</td><td style="border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">83.8</td><td style="border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">0.41</td><td style="border: 1px solid rgb(212, 212, 212); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; padding: 5px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top;">82.10</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Even with CoVid, the average age at death has increased! </p><p><span face=""Noto Sans", sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 20px;">Life expectancy at birth (LEB) in Canada in 2020 is still unknown, but it will likely be lower compared with previous years. Deaths caused by COVID-19 contributed to an estimated reduction in </span><abbr style="background-color: white; border-bottom: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; cursor: help; font-family: "Noto Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 20px; text-decoration-skip-ink: none;" title="Life expectancy at birth">LEB</abbr><span face=""Noto Sans", sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 20px;"> of 0.41 years in 2020. Compared to the life expectancy of 82.10 years observed in 2019, this decrease of 0.41 years would reduce LEB to what it was six years earlier, in 2013 (81.68 years).</span></p><p>We are now expected to live FOUR less months than expected due to CoVid. </p><p>For the record, I'm not against vaccines but it was sure convenient when Pfizer announced they had developed one Nov 12, 5 days after the too-close-to-call-but-probably-Biden American election (spoiler alert; Biden officially won Dec 14 according to the electoral college, which was also the date the first American vaccine was given).</p><p>Pfizer is an American pharmaceutical company. Moderna is as well. Coincidence.</p><p>We were warned of a second wave and everyone had to go through the motions again; but with much more mask wearing. Summer ended and schools/indoors/restaurants/cops all had to wear masks. A lot of fights were shared on social media of people not wearing masks vs people who said they had to. </p><p> Then we all had to have vaccines! Social lepers if you didn't. Talk of Vaccine passports, mandatory return to work vaccinations. </p><p>Gas went down to 96 cents, as nobody was driving to and from work anymore. Some front line workers (such as nurses) were hailed as Gods, as they awaited the in rush of dying that for most smaller cities never came. Other front line workers (such as cashiers in grocery stores) received a temporary $2 'danger pay' raise. Other front line workers (such as at your local 7/11 or McDonald's drive-thru received nothing). </p><p>At my firehall, we stopped weekly practices, were told to wear hazmat suits, including face shields and taped up gloves to prevent exposure on any calls we attended. I grew a small beard instead. </p><p>In June 2020, school started again, attendance optional. Teachers learned Zoom while also working on a Day1/Day2 schedule for kids who attended. Most parents kept their kids at home. </p><p>It was rumoured CoVid was carried by kids (who would show no symptoms) so anything they touched, could be infected by CoVid, which resulted in much wiping and hand-sanitizing; in my school our hand-washing schedule was; once before school, once entering, once leaving for recess, once returning, once when going to the gym, once when leaving the gym, wiping desks before and after lunch. God help you if you coughed. And yes, we were all supposed to stay six feet from each other. </p><p>It was stupid time to be alive. But we did it. </p><p>In April, 2020, somebody in the Maritimes dressed up as a cop and killed 22 people on a weekend murder spree; surprising everyone who thought those type of things happened only in the US. </p><p>That's all I can think of for now. </p><p>I'm still not vaccinated but likely will be in the coming year as my mom has paid for accomodations in Hawaii for us to celebrate her postponed 70th birthday. </p><p>It is now July of 2021, the mask mandate is over, 70% of us have been vaccinated but that isn't stopping the Delta Variant which for all I can tell, still continues to kill older people that have lived past their average life span. </p><p>And oh yeah, the Okanagan is once again completely covered by smoke, much like 2017. It just feels worse this year. </p><p>Update July 28, 2023, : my last CoVid Count post; </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyZH6SX3HE8gVefaF-a2ZJIG86ln_eMqogDxXeGpeT19pv8v2oZgje6Ikeg4YGr34HiBrIvcoSRqk-Vzm799vuzCw60wA58hetQ4_SBtfpp9p8akBGc3SXlvbMJyRhAwaHLB4C32cijU2zsmYLej7l1sj-GOkvrFlKKsaIaEWA0ILN_Lbh0SBg7BTAi7ZP/s1334/IMG_9212.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyZH6SX3HE8gVefaF-a2ZJIG86ln_eMqogDxXeGpeT19pv8v2oZgje6Ikeg4YGr34HiBrIvcoSRqk-Vzm799vuzCw60wA58hetQ4_SBtfpp9p8akBGc3SXlvbMJyRhAwaHLB4C32cijU2zsmYLej7l1sj-GOkvrFlKKsaIaEWA0ILN_Lbh0SBg7BTAi7ZP/s320/IMG_9212.PNG" width="180" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-37636643718717714282021-07-31T14:03:00.004-07:002024-01-28T16:09:53.334-08:00Flies Non-Update<p> </p><p>Well, after the "I got this" talk of Thursday night, it turned out I didn't 'got this' on Friday. </p><p>Instead of resubmitting Flies to another possible publisher, I chose to do other things, like clean up my tool room (which had been on the list for a long time) and finish my rough editing of Karmageddon. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE97jJlNdnlgW2fK4Gr8YSVgcU_rB1Gf14v-Ss5HzWcVSrzloMHcRLC3oLJPXX_VRgIoU1KJVX2K1F9enehORKnsYXK6kTQLH1OFx-RhrlFiDfj-OSWB3bou4lezG9ERcuwVFs6OuVV-ew/s2016/IMG_4883.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE97jJlNdnlgW2fK4Gr8YSVgcU_rB1Gf14v-Ss5HzWcVSrzloMHcRLC3oLJPXX_VRgIoU1KJVX2K1F9enehORKnsYXK6kTQLH1OFx-RhrlFiDfj-OSWB3bou4lezG9ERcuwVFs6OuVV-ew/s320/IMG_4883.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>It's amazing how much I want to change after leaving it alone for 2 (?) years. Does it naturally get worse or is that just me? Anyways, I finished tagging all the things I want to change and have been spending this morning (Saturday) doing that instead of, again, resubmitting Flies. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSOBS9jongo0rSP2MWnGZdcupRHeJrpicPacNKD-LBAHHzetoM2cEzyOYTBksy2cSN79Zp12yaxOXEYHToAoiFAf0DJoXqbjns4PIASlwE5IPtU8dADbkjpQmtpb87lF1XyVuKadiX5ldv/s2016/IMG_4882.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSOBS9jongo0rSP2MWnGZdcupRHeJrpicPacNKD-LBAHHzetoM2cEzyOYTBksy2cSN79Zp12yaxOXEYHToAoiFAf0DJoXqbjns4PIASlwE5IPtU8dADbkjpQmtpb87lF1XyVuKadiX5ldv/s320/IMG_4882.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>I also went to the liquor store yesterday, to get a little something to deal with the fact I am turning 50 and was immediately drawn to this: Now for some reason I can't get Blogger to text-wrap around these pictures I'm getting frustrated and having spent 2 hours on this computer, avoiding submitting Flies, I will once again return to my state of self-loathing and find more shit to throw away, at least making my day somewhat complete. So here I am, one less day until 50 with on publishing contract. Not like there's any rush anymore. <br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-7098481126800622482021-07-29T23:48:00.001-07:002024-01-28T16:11:16.999-08:00Flies; the first submission. <div>Attempt #1</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkqfHWVGWxM_LOFlq0DkCYODtmtrhjc2-w58h4XylC3CChSWjalginVxcSlVBNLGFRaoJ-cgXP_DD9EJ35jaMoXilJeIAE1tcb5PsMWvY6Zxm_1I3Gj2hgX4IFT2pqcDC851RJbVk-jjG/s3264/20191104_165023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1836" data-original-width="3264" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkqfHWVGWxM_LOFlq0DkCYODtmtrhjc2-w58h4XylC3CChSWjalginVxcSlVBNLGFRaoJ-cgXP_DD9EJ35jaMoXilJeIAE1tcb5PsMWvY6Zxm_1I3Gj2hgX4IFT2pqcDC851RJbVk-jjG/s320/20191104_165023.jpg" width="320" /></a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Okay, so I know enough about the submitting process to know I don't know enough and never will. </div><div>I'm going to detail my attempts at finding a publisher for Flies so that way either I A) have someone to blame, B) have a semi-interesting journal for people interested in a similar journal and C) therapy.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm just going to hop on C) here. I submitted Flies three days ago, via Submittable to the 'Featured Publisher' of my local chapter of the Canadian Publisher's Alliance - that's not the name but it was the first one that came up on a Google search.</div><div><br /></div><div>They have a caveat; saying they publish about 20 books a year with around 1000 submissions annually. So, chances are pretty slim. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now, previous experience/homework suggested there's a long turn-around time when a manuscript is dropped into a 'slush pile'; like months and months. So I sure wasn't expecting an answer anytime soon. </div><div><br /></div><div>But I did. Running that high I started reading/editing Karmageddon again and SHIT there's a lot of notes I've made for the next edit. How do manuscripts get worse the longer you're away from them? </div><div><br /></div><div>Then something unexpected. A reply from the publisher. Could it be? </div><div><br /></div><div>Three days and form letter rejection. </div><div><br /></div><div>I found that out about 7pm tonight. That put me in a funk so hard I laid down on the couch and power napped for about 15 minutes before being woken by the kid. Then I spent about 30 minutes looking at other possible publishers, depressed and miserable, self-loathing, questioning my validity of writing talents, etc. I put that on pause, deciding I will look deeper into it tomorrow. Maybe submit again before the acceptance settles in which obviously already did.</div><div><br /></div><div>Another hour or so of that feeling sucky before going to bed. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was while laying there that I had this epiphany that Flies was never going to be an easy sell - I mean, it's a story about killing children that nobody cares about. I need to work on selling it; how I'm going to do that, I don't know. I need to have a cheerleader in my life, someone who will say 'no problem, you got this, you can do it'. And I realize I don't so it's all up to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's always been all up to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>I got this. I will find a publisher for Flies. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the meantime, I'll journal my struggles on my blog (does anyone read blogs anymore?) for posterity. </div><div><br /></div><div>In this day and age of bells and whistles and 'everything lives forever on the Internet', which by the way is not true judging from all the embedded video clips that have been removed from this blog, I figure this will make for a decent memory for the day when I do get Flies published and maybe, just maybe, find an agent to make my life a little easier and my confidence a little stronger. </div><div><br /></div><div>I got this. </div><div><br /></div><div>Be your own cheerleader. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7BP8F_Iju_wbZU3CjU11sIQvkHcpa2f-Vnit0R8ygnAn6Bx6tFKZHMWxmX56jcOPHtxXwDU89jvd1O8FWYh_QB1g07v1XXpXw2VWbG-IsRFyPyaxaR7JXPo1WK-S-1ekwiUp7rwazRXVV/s4032/IMG_1451.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7BP8F_Iju_wbZU3CjU11sIQvkHcpa2f-Vnit0R8ygnAn6Bx6tFKZHMWxmX56jcOPHtxXwDU89jvd1O8FWYh_QB1g07v1XXpXw2VWbG-IsRFyPyaxaR7JXPo1WK-S-1ekwiUp7rwazRXVV/s320/IMG_1451.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /></div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> </div>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-5307853481550259842021-07-24T16:39:00.000-07:002024-01-28T16:11:44.231-08:00Summer 2021<p> </p><p><br /></p><p>Here we are, still alive, still trying to figure out what this last 16 months has meant. A lot of people have died, current update is 4, 167,500 deaths, 26,000 in Canada. </p><p>A lot of questions; vaccinations, yay or nay, lot of media propaganda which after nearly a 20 year bad rap (harkening back to Bush/Cheney) of being puppets to government spins. Nobody trusts anyone anymore, forest fires burning like 2017, masks no longer mandatory, US states 'opening' and dying again, the Delta variant, the Jan 6th capital attack, Branson and Bezos going into space, with the argument of what actually defines 'space' last week, no rain in the last 4 months, with a 44 degree heat spell and the town of Lytton incinerating. </p><p>And somewhere in the last 5 months I completed Flies, and if I say so myself, it's pretty damn good. My 3 beta readers have loved it with one yet to check in. I am working on one last re-edit before doing the real work of pushing it off into some publishing houses to attempt to get that elusive traditional deal done; I'm old-school all the way because I hate the work of self-promo. </p><p>So that is my quick update for the summer. I've not done much outside and the family has gone off for the weekend but I have to keep my eyes on the goal(s) and it's easier said than done. Still so much to do, both inside, outside and 75 pages still to edit. </p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-26990987084943866902020-12-17T14:02:00.000-08:002024-01-28T16:12:29.007-08:00It's starting to feel a lot like...something.<p> </p><p>It's been awhile. </p><p>I've been busy. Busy being a father, a dad, a renovator, a learn-as-you-goer, teacher's assistant, dog-walker, home-maker, etc etc. with little time for writing. I'm only here because I am on a sick day from work with it's own weird little backstory behind that which I won't get into. <br /></p><p>I did Nanowrimo, which is a writing challenge held in November in which you try to type 50,000 words. I cut out an hour a day and my family let me with little to no distractions. I used that to edit a 1st draft I have let simmer for many months. It's a murder mystery thing; someone's killing pedophiles and it's done in three different points of views; a step away from my preferred Karmageddon world building. </p><p>It's a challenge in itself and I'm only like... 1/2 way done, even with Nanowrimo. And CoVid. </p><p>According to Worldometer.info, here are the latest stats worldwide; . 1,665, 000 deaths (about 3% of those who officially contracted it). In Canada there were 13, 865 deaths. They don't give out an age breakdown but that can be found with a little digging; last I checked, 96% were people over 80. </p><p>Yep, CoVid is still the thing. There are too many conspiracy theories to count and, depending on who you ask, faith in our leadership is plummeting. We have small owner-operated restaurants forced to close while McDonald's has their best sales ever. You can't have a wedding with more than 20 people (depending on where you are) yet Home Depot and Walmart are fine. You can't work out at a gym or have dinner with more than 4-6-10 family members but you can go into any store that is open as long as you wear a mask. </p><p>Masks are mostly mandatory the world over yet nobody mentions the mask-makers as part of any conspiracy. That's left to Big Pharma, two of whom have announced vaccines immediately after the US election win of Joe Biden over Donald Trump. And socialists; that one is fun. While the stock markets show huge gains (keeping the rich richer), somehow this is all a conspiracty for a great economic reset where everyone will get a (gasp) basic universal income. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fmk9sVbMo1V5xO13gHdoHsKkPIDQY0C-rodClTTP4hT6O_-oXdT1slXl5SFaRQhxTfFmFjwJnxFUkIbJZj9BYT3krSPPoQlmuv0rP7UgfRI8dMDGCJEMtL30UN_CoWgig5MCqU9OtnRo/s240/mike+smith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="171" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fmk9sVbMo1V5xO13gHdoHsKkPIDQY0C-rodClTTP4hT6O_-oXdT1slXl5SFaRQhxTfFmFjwJnxFUkIbJZj9BYT3krSPPoQlmuv0rP7UgfRI8dMDGCJEMtL30UN_CoWgig5MCqU9OtnRo/w183-h257/mike+smith.jpg" width="183" /></a></div><p></p><p>As back when this first started, nobody really rich or famous has died. Tom Hanks was one of the first to get it and that would have been a game changer. But he was fine. As was Justin Trudeau's wife, Boris Johnson (UK premier), P!nk, Trump ('cured' over a weekend), a ton of other White House high-ups in his cabinet, Prince Charles. </p><p>I had my own theory at one time (writer brain kicking in) that this was a War of The Worlds/Invasion of the Body Snatchers thing where those who die are pod people, advance forces for alien overlords. It's not sensitive to those who have lost someone but we all have to try and make sense of all this in our own ways. If that involves me coming up with a Killer Alien Virus theory to explain why I can't watch my daughter play ringette, so be it. </p><p>Mostly, those who died have been old and with weakened immune systems. I went for a walk awhile ago and had this minor epipheny of how this is a Boomer reaction to the approaching of Death, as futile as it may be to fight it, they're going to try. It's backfired a little, such as so many have had to die alone, their families unable to hold their hands one last time, in fear of infection. When we, as a society, placed our elders in care homes, paid other people to care for them then get angry that they are dieing in these places we have put them, who really is to blame? </p><p>So we have people shouting online to wear your masks and other people shouting it makes no difference. In my province, nearly all the deaths were in long-term care homes (which are like bus stations for funeral homes). We have a 50 person cap on a hockey arena that sits 3000 and a 2 person cap in public restrooms. </p><p>We have this 'front-line workers are the real heroe' memes going around yet many of those are the cashiers who are keeping the economy running. There has been no mention of Big Banks or credit cards doing anything other than lip service to everyone falling deeper in debt. I don't know how that will play out but in the meantime, we try to keep as normal as possible. </p><p>Yet on my end, things are actually quite stable. We both kept our jobs; I caught up on a lot of side-projects such as building a front walkway, building a fence, bartering my labour from that to a 14ft aluminum boat and a utility trailer (which I then rebuilt). We resided our house, finally losing the avocado green aluminum siding and replaced 8 windows. Then to top it off, we have a new(er) truck, one that can actually tow the utility trailer! So yeah, sorry society is in the crapper and our alien overlords are about to run the show but I'm doing pretty darn good.</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyr2jELjxVSZfqfmlyKUfd89HKYDLT97bMNN7D8-oaZHrIhEqcYa5hgXl1kYUqIZnFAOw_s3TxH9H3UWqce7IclzNYPUHI1IB6_zHeeZtnd4IDittNL3gpmXl5RlpTrVQu7vHpj3DrZDDV/s487/WorkInProgress.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="437" data-original-width="487" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyr2jELjxVSZfqfmlyKUfd89HKYDLT97bMNN7D8-oaZHrIhEqcYa5hgXl1kYUqIZnFAOw_s3TxH9H3UWqce7IclzNYPUHI1IB6_zHeeZtnd4IDittNL3gpmXl5RlpTrVQu7vHpj3DrZDDV/w203-h182/WorkInProgress.png" width="203" /></a></div><p></p><p>Now if I can only get a book deal. </p><p> </p>Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-86693742651230992842020-08-17T17:56:00.000-07:002020-08-17T18:04:08.411-07:00The Best Decade in Movies; the 80s (in progress, likely not going to finish)<h2 style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
The Best Decade in Movies; the Eighties</h2>
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The Greatest Decade Movies; the 80′s.</div>
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The eighties. Most of you probably weren’t even born yet. Those that were old enough to remember the eighties may also remember the world-wide controversy that broke out during this seminal decade. No, I’m not talking about AIDS. No, not talking about David Lee Roth being kicked out of Van Halen. I’m talking about the technological controversy of the century; Beta or VHS?<br />
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Most of you should know the answer to this if you ever looked in your grandparents’ entertainment cabinet. VHS won the battle but ultimately not the war as VHS tapes multiplied like tribbles throughout the 80′s and 90′s before slowly finding themselves being herded into the 8-track section of your local pawn shop or yard sale cardboard box.</div>
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Yet the eighties could arguably be considered pop culture cinema’s greatest decade. From the teen angst of John Hughes’ works to the high gore, multiple entries of the Freddy and Jason slasher flicks to the pumped-up action figures of Sly Stallone and Arnie Schwarznegger the eighties had it all. It was so cool that Robert Downey Jr. was in it, that’s how cool it was.</div>
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But for cinephiles and the point of this article, I present Must See 25 great and influential movies of the 80′s.</div>
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25 Airplane! (1980)</div>
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Sadly, Airplane! and it’s non-stop barrage of jokes has been dumbed down over the years, evolving into the sad, sad ‘spoof’ industry. Where Airplane! succeeded is it took a little-known airplane disaster movie (1957′s Zero Hour) and used that as the blueprint for their own movie by borrowing plot and characters (in a way). By spoofing the trend of disaster movies rather than specific movies it made a household name out of Leslie ‘don’t call me shirley’ Nielson, and a hundred other jokes. For better or worse (worse) Airplane! is what created the crapfest that is Epic Movie, Scary Movie 2-ongoing, The Farrelly Brothers, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie, the 41 year old virgin who knocked up Sarah Marshall…etc, etc. etc.</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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Strike; “Surely, you can’t be serious.”</div>
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Rumack; ‘I’m always serious. And don’t call me Shirley.’</div>
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24 Die Hard (1988)<br />
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Now at sequel #5 and counting, Die Hard revolutionized the action picture by breaking the mold of the eighties bulging biceps action heroes into the much more everyday wisecracking figure of Bruce Willis who successfully jumped out of America’s TV sets into the big screen. If you don’t know this movie, you can just go to WhatCulture’s Die Hard page and feel vast amounts of shame.</div>
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Timeless Quote; “Yippee kay yay, mother f@#%er.”</div>
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23 Princess Bride (1987)</div>
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Princess Bride made a (bigger) star out of one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, Andre the Giant. Finally able to hone his cinematic acting chops, his reputation as one of the nicest people in the world played up to his character of Fezzik. Directed by Rob Reiner (who went against typecast and created the greatest trilogy of differing genre films in Princess Bride, Misery and A Few Good Men) it promised a story about true love, pirates, sword fights and monsters and delivered. One of the best 'sick in bed' movies ever.</div>
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Timeless Quote; “My name is Indigo Montaya. you killed my father. prepare to die.”</div>
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22 Tron (1982)<br />
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Before CGI, there was Tron. It was one of the first movies to acknowledge this whole computer ‘fad’ as perhaps being more than just a bunch of kids goofing off. By using state of the day special effects during a time that depended less on CGI and more on people’s abilities to create sets and uniforms that were thought to be logically what an inside of a computer would look like.</div>
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Timeless Quote; N/A but there is this awesome invention that has since came true; the light bike.</div>
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21 Robocop (1987)</div>
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Before drones, there was Robocop. Half man, half machine, all cop.</div>
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20 Friday the 13th (1980)</div>
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Do I need even to recap this series? You know that there has been over 10 movies made with Jason right? All of them made money. ‘Nuff said.</div>
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Timeless Quote; “ch-ch-ch-ch kill-kill-kill-kill”</div>
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19 Purple Rain (1984)<br />
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If you thought Madonna’s ego was big, (it is), Prince’s semi-autobiographical tale hit the public at the right time, unlike his other film projects. The album remains one of the top best sellers of the eighties and despite it’s unmemorable plot line… Prince sings, rides a motorbike, and talks dirty to Nikki and dry humps a speaker. There’s something in there about a rival slick band that is the basis of a little fun for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back…so there’s that.<br />
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Timeless Quote; ’It’s Maurice Day and the Time! oh ee oh ee oh.</div>
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18 Heathers (1988)<br />
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Before Mean Girls, there was Heathers. It made stars out of Christian Slater and Winona Ryder.</div>
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17 Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)</div>
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Wes Craven’s break out horror flick of Freddie, the serial killer with the knife gloves that killed while you slept. Freddie went on to become one of the go-to’s of Halloween costume parties and nearly single-handedly brought back the fedora.</div>
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Timeless Quote; ”one, two Freddie’s coming for you, three/four better shut the door…”</div>
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16 Highlander (1986)<br />
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Throughout history there has been a select group of Immortals that occasionally bump into each other and engage in the ultimate elimination match to achieve…I don’t know…being the only Immortal? But it has Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert and his trademark voice that he has made a decent B movie career out of.</div>
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Timeless Quote; "Hey, is that Sean Connery?”</div>
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15 BladeRunner<br />
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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14 Big Trouble in Little China</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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13 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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12 Terminator</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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11 Karate Kid</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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10 The Shining</div>
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Timeless Quote; “Here’s Johnnnnnnieee!”</div>
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9 Gremlins</div>
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Timeless Quote;</div>
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8 Goonies</div>
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Timeless Shuffle; The Chunk Shuffle</div>
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7 Ghostbusters</div>
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Timeless Quote; “Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”</div>
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6 ET</div>
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Timeless Quote; “ET phone home.”</div>
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5 Raiders of the Lost Ark</div>
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Timeless Quote; “Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?”</div>
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4 Red Dawn</div>
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Timeless Quote; ”WOLVERINES!”</div>
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3 Back to the Future</div>
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Timeless Quote; “Hello? McFly?”</div>
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2 Empire Strikes Back</div>
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Timeless Quote; ”Luke, I am your father.”</div>
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1 The Breakfast Club</div>
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Timeless Quote; hey hey hey hey! Don’t you….forget about me…</div>
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Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-9292802182412056232020-03-25T14:13:00.003-07:002024-01-28T16:12:57.653-08:00Day 10 of Societal Isolation<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicPZ7fGypcqTUDFF4vIs_ARjW-lWA1HgCaU_Yj_lOa_SffE4840RgWxvFJL7FKNCWQsbWWNcQT-hj9tmh4qhZZzhFKmuCaLbcMBKiUDsFu1iy9anQfXmin-sGL7jbarGzqyTn9OryP8o8W/s1600/luongo+alone.bin" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="620" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicPZ7fGypcqTUDFF4vIs_ARjW-lWA1HgCaU_Yj_lOa_SffE4840RgWxvFJL7FKNCWQsbWWNcQT-hj9tmh4qhZZzhFKmuCaLbcMBKiUDsFu1iy9anQfXmin-sGL7jbarGzqyTn9OryP8o8W/s400/luongo+alone.bin" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Current method of Social Isolation.</em></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I don't know if I am embarrassed on behalf of humanity or proud. On one hand, our ability to mass implode as a civilization is unprecedented. I had the feeling this shit was getting real when Starbucks started offering only Drive-Thru service. We nearly shut down Starbucks! <br />
<br />
Then it got stupid(er) when they shut down our 8 acre neighbourhood dog park, which I've never seen more than 10 people in on a good day, due to the COVID19!!! It's a goddamn 8 acre park that dogs poop in during the winter and kid leagues play soccer and T-Ball in during April and May.<br />
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Keep in mind that I live in a community of about 1000 people. There are more people that walk on the streets than go into this park. I mean, if we are following this current thought, why aren't the mailboxes taped off? There's at least 50 boxes that can be infected with COVID19!!!<br />
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But that is what this has come to. I'm tired of saying it's the flu, yes, it's highly contagious. It kills off the old and weak, Yes, that sucks. But that's what flus have always done. Yes, I understand that people are dying. That's nature. We don't live forever. <br />
<br />
And until the rich and famous start dying off, in other words, those that can afford health care, then I'm not really worried about it. <br />
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At least, physically. Mentally, I'm drained. I'm trying to live in a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' world but everyone else is making it tough. We need t-shirts to differentiate us, to help us remind each other that we're not alone in thinking we're over-reacting. We need to Keep on Keepin' On. <br />
<br />
Economically, I'm okay with my 2 weeks emergency funds and our 'Essential Services' jobs. I'm not like a lot of others out there. Thankfully, being perpetually poor prepared me really well for doing limited things on limited funds. I even might splurge this weekend and go for a non-essential drive what with gas at 94.9 cents (British Columbia, represent). That represents a savings of nearly 30 cents/litre in less than a month. How are the oil companies surviving?<br />
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And let's not talk about the credit card companies, who have been pretty silent on their whole 'we are still charging you 20% interest on any charges you incur.' <br />
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I am reminded of the saying "There is nothing to Fear but Fear Itself" and as a society, we are doing a bang-up job of living in fear. It will be a strange world to come back to, especially economically. Will our standard of living go down? Will there be a new iPhone release for this year? Where will ex-Prince Harry and Markie live? Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-28872249699632229352020-03-17T09:07:00.001-07:002024-01-28T16:14:05.039-08:00Self-quarantine Day 4 <div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Day #4 of the national self-quarantine aka Spring Break 2020. </span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_cPLeYwPXsA4KZ7DOCdF8IBXrq-fXfkCYLCwBZweDkV5n3NV4DJSX06Xpf4Q23Q2yGwDuAy_9AQknOh7WRph1idCcj4TWfakYo3h8c9uJqGDXh5sN03a7KIgGjpjYBZXfAcA546tYJaE/s1600/crazypills.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="580" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_cPLeYwPXsA4KZ7DOCdF8IBXrq-fXfkCYLCwBZweDkV5n3NV4DJSX06Xpf4Q23Q2yGwDuAy_9AQknOh7WRph1idCcj4TWfakYo3h8c9uJqGDXh5sN03a7KIgGjpjYBZXfAcA546tYJaE/s400/crazypills.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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While I jest, this is where we are at. I don't know if things would be much different for us to be honest. The kids are doing what they are doing; nothing different from their previous school holidays, barring the fact my daughter's Stay At Home class was cancelled and, as of yesterday, so are our weekly firehall practice.<br />
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We are still planning to go into town today; my oldest 2 have a bowling date with Grampa, who is willing to risk the chance of infection to spend some time with the kids.<br />
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I bought my oldest a bass; today I plan to go into pawn shops to see if I can find a cheap amp. My daughter is missing a sketch book so we will buy another one. My youngest is happy that his leprecaun trap has netted four hats and golden chocolate bar.<br />
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Still off Facebook, and now Yahoo is starting to send me emails about it; Greg shared this, Ken shared that...<br />
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I'm reading Stephen King's On Writing and Wings of Fire, recommended by my daughter. It's a fairly straight forward dystopian rebellion tale, but with dragon/insects. It's not very subtle. For example, the bad guys are wasps and when the protagonists are deciding where to find the Rebellion, they have a choice between Yellowjacket Hive, Bloodworm Hive or Jewel Hive. Not hard to guess where they're going.<br />
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But she's reading and I love her and I will finish it. As per King's On Writing; Reading bad writing makes you more aware of your own bad writing. I'm not saying Wings of Fire is bad; it's meant for a particular audience.<br />
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Nobody died last night from CoronaVirus, keeping the Canadian death toll at 4 in a population of 38 million people. We talked a little at the dinner table with the kids. They seem mostly oblivious however the older one isn't saying much.<br />
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<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-84550255506169913272020-03-15T10:31:00.001-07:002024-01-28T16:15:05.752-08:00Emotion is Contagious (this didn't age well)<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">So I'm wrong but will keep this up for some humble pie.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Aug 15, update; there are over 174,000 dead in US (#1) and 9000 in Canada (#24)</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Conspiracies are all the rage right now, masks are semi-voluntary, the US election is nowhere near the same amount of hype/hysteria as it was 4 years ago so at least we have that going for us. </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">PANDEMIC</span></b><span style="font-size: large;">!</span></div>
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<br />
Coronavirus is all the news nowadays. As far as I'm concerned it's a variation of the flu and I fear that I am the only one who remembers the media panic of SARS, the bird flu, avian flu, ebola and flesh-eating disease that ran their course over the last two decades.<br />
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Emotion is contagious; if one of us laughs, others laugh. That is why comedies feel so much funnier in theaters; stand-up comedy is done in front of an audience instead of one by one. Funerals are where people gather to feel sad. We avoid funerals so we don't feel sad(der).<br />
Weddings make us happy. Winning as a group, losing as a group, it makes us feel emotions that are increased by the amount of people we are sharing that emotion with.<br />
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This is the basis of mob mentality; our emotions, heightened by others, make us do things that we would not otherwise do as individuals.<br />
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And the current emotion running through society is fear, pushed by social media and a large international organization called WHO.<br />
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Beware of Coronavirus.<br />
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For some reason, this is worse than all the others most of us have lived through before. And because we are now a world that thrives on fear, we relish the opportunity to do what we are told because of flu epidemic that hit a country on the other side of the globe<br />
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We are flourishing on fear, our leaders are showing each other what we are made of. And this is what we have shown;<br />
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All international travel is highly discouraged.<br />
If you do travel, you are to self-quarantine yourself for two weeks before returning to your employment. Nobody will check up on this - you are to police yourself. WE are counting on you to be honest about your travels.<br />
All events or gatherings of more than 250 people is forbidden.<br />
That means ALL sports, from the NHL to the local ringette end-of-season dinner has been postponed/cancelled.<br />
School districts are shutting down despite no children having been diagnosed.<br />
Churches are closing their doors (read that one again and note the hypocrisy)<br />
St. Paddy day parades cancelled!<br />
There is an increasing push to create work-from-home scenarios so people don't have to go into work.<br />
There is a big public information push to wash your hands.<br />
There is an unfathomable, unexplainable rush on toilet paper.<br />
Athletes are offering to pay the wages of stadium employees who would otherwise be serving over-priced food and beverages to their fans.<br />
Big businesses are spamming emails, declaring how they 'are navigating' this pandemic which has KILLED 62 people in the US (of 331 million) and 1 person in Canada (of 37 million). Yes, it will be more but that's it as of March 15th, 2020.<br />
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To date, according to <a href="https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/">https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/</a> there have been 6000 deaths world-wide. 76,000 have recovered. The breakdwown of the age of fatalities is broken down on this page; <a href="https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/">https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/</a> . According to CNN, the average age is 80. No child has died from coronavirus.<br />
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There are over 7.7 billion people in the world.<br />
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7.7 billion.<br />
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Do the math. This is not a pandemic; this is nature. Sickness kills off the old and the weak. It is nothing personal, it's saying your time is up. Time to move over, shuffle off this mortal coil, face the music, pay your tab, check your balance, meet your maker, etc. etc. etc.<br />
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Yet here we are. Two weeks into March. The Apocalypse is upon us.<br />
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I have logged off Facebook. I found it to be part of the problem instead of part of the solution. <br />
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I am sure there are sane people among us; plenty in health care. Yet our self-isolation cuts away that sense of group rationality. FB does the same. Funny memes or videos on Toilet paper mobs do nothing buy hype the situation, only help stoke the flames of fear. We have been told to self-quarantine and so most of us will. We are obedient sheep and all it took was a little snowball to create this avalanche of fear. Much like AIDS, SARS, Bird flu, swine flu etc.<br />
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I am old enough to remember this situation playing out so many times before. News clips of everyone wearing face masks, nobody in our social circle having any personal experience of said deadly disease and then we continued on as if it never happened.<br />
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The difference this time is how influential social media has become; it not only pushes the snowball but creates more of them. It is our most trusted news source.<br />
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And this is the Catch 22 of our times; the argument will be that thanks to these restrictions, the pandemic never happened. If we didn't have these restrictions, we'd have deaths in the millions. We can't prove that wouldn't happen as we are not given the opportunity.<br />
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It's like saying those day-glow head-to-toe uniforms traffic control people wear keep them safer as opposed to only wearing a day-glow jacket. You can't argue with safety.<br />
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Group mentality wins out. Nobody is brave enough to call bullshit because YOU ARE THREATENING SOMEONE'S LIFE!<br />
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Yet, if Death is going to happen, it's going to happen. Your time is up; be it from an elderly driver behind the wheel, cardiac arrest, ski jump, or a 7 year old with a runny nose.<br />
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Yet here we are. 1 person dead in Canada has ground near everything to a halt except the Internet.<br />
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I especially love that the Houses of God are encouraging their parishioners not to gather there. There's a huge irony in that.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22Xji6Uys41LEvpwT4X1jkv0ChSASiWfUqFLriIyBHkB0Hq3HIj2DWAQoEOEFPjE2fu7jEWYbq8RcoyiZA9V5h5Ob_aaSFX_7EMDBEscfZp_62N9P5sAFYjgtTeFZL8gQ4FcMrt7-E552/s1600/homer+intern.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="376" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22Xji6Uys41LEvpwT4X1jkv0ChSASiWfUqFLriIyBHkB0Hq3HIj2DWAQoEOEFPjE2fu7jEWYbq8RcoyiZA9V5h5Ob_aaSFX_7EMDBEscfZp_62N9P5sAFYjgtTeFZL8gQ4FcMrt7-E552/s320/homer+intern.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Good luck, everyone.<br />
<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-49562937236766811942019-11-03T15:03:00.001-08:002019-11-03T15:04:02.595-08:00Returning to the Past. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1wL6pmCpnfuIIPzPRX77jSEu_0UjZORMzVt-vOYAQhyphenhyphenZcrgDh9L0BoZkXMCU6Ob3DxJV1VgVbqkOvKaQn_fnllY8tZ9fjzo26ZQT8brrGfMGqubdL4nF2bP1fQHJuGND3gTOdxAP-yEv5/s1600/3x3_Bob_Loblaw.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1440" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1wL6pmCpnfuIIPzPRX77jSEu_0UjZORMzVt-vOYAQhyphenhyphenZcrgDh9L0BoZkXMCU6Ob3DxJV1VgVbqkOvKaQn_fnllY8tZ9fjzo26ZQT8brrGfMGqubdL4nF2bP1fQHJuGND3gTOdxAP-yEv5/s640/3x3_Bob_Loblaw.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>he other night I was walking to the local fireworks display and I heard a man's voice behind me, stating something to the effect of "There goes our local celebrity author.".<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to do. I had not written anything in months,had not posted anything on my author page in months as Facebook kept reminding me. And while I was curious as to who it was, I was unsure if I should turn around. Were they being cynical? Sarcastic? Or simply an attempt at good-natured community relations?<br />
<br />
I felt apprehensive, and conflicted. I felt ashamed about my abandonment of my literary dream. Days previous, my daughter had asked what I would do if money was not an object after I explained the finer details of how my credit card debt works against me buying a new truck to replace our current one that is, but for lack of better words, gradually expiring. I successfully evaded the question.<br />
<br />
Yet, I do still want to be known as a celebrity author. I do want people to come up to me and say 'Hey, I enjoyed your book.' leaving me red-faced and proud while trying to scope out the nearest exit strategy as they say 'would you mind signing my copy?'<br />
<br />
"Hey, celebrity author..."<br />
<br />
But I'm a long way from that. I've stalled out on self-marketing, put my chips into getting an education so I can have a piece of paper that officially agrees that I am good at something I have been doing for years, therefore giving me more earning power. That is how this world works.<br />
<br />
And then I got a little push from, of all things, a book on letters. Specifically, the letters of Kurt Vonnegut, a man I admire and who transcended literary genres. I found out it took nearly a decade from the publication of his first novel to his second, as life and bills got in the way.<br />
<br />
Fortunately (or unfortunately) he was also able to start his career in the last great days of short story publishing - his first story earned him $750 (The Barnstable Effect) in 1950. It was roughly 15,000 words. It was bought by a magazine named Collier's.<br />
<br />
$750 for 15,000 words! In today's dollars that would be equal to nearly $8000 US dollars!<br />
<br />
Such was the value of written stories in those days.<br />
<br />
With that financial success, and a few others under his belt, he felt confident enough to quit his desk job at G.E, and concentrate on the writing of his first full novel, Player Piano. His next novel, Sirens of Titan, wasn't published until 1959.<br />
<br />
Because Television came along.<br />
<br />
In the following years, as magazines went out of business, the value of a Kurt Vonnegut story, as well as all others, dropped to $100-$200, depending on length, as the publishing world imploded, shrinking as the Golden Age of Television decimated the value of the written word as visual content became the opium of the masses.<br />
<br />
It took seven years for him to return to where he thought he was going to be after Player Piano, making excuses, mental confusion and exhaustion trying to provide for his growing household in any way he could. His dream took a back seat to his reality.<br />
<br />
And here I am, bemoaning somebody at least knew I am an author and expressed it out loud, either cynically or respectfully.<br />
<br />
I should have turned around and said 'Thank you for reminding me.'<br />
<br />
I should have immediately returned to believing that one day I will become more than a local neighbourhood celebrity author.<br />
<br />
I didn't that night but I am here now, for the first time in months, writing about myself and my works so thank you, stranger, for the push.<br />
<br />
So here is a link to my last book, Karmageddon. It is a collection of short stories based around a nuclear Armageddon created by the events in Enter a Fistful of Marijuana. It was entered into the Stephen Leacock Awards for Canadian humour but didn't make the cut. I'd be lying if I said that didn't hurt a little. It is funny and sad and makes a commentary on our priorities when disaster strikes.<br />
<br />
It is available on Lulu.com, a Canadian version of Amazon so if you want to shop national, here is <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/jay-royston/karmageddon/paperback/product-23891945.html" target="_blank">where you can start.</a><br />
<br />
They even provided me this fancy link to my book:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.lulu.com/commerce/index.php?fBuyContent=22819833" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu." border="0" src="http://static.lulu.com/images/services/buy_now_buttons/en/gray.gif?20191007080407" /></a></div>
<br />
Enter a Fistful of Marijuana, the basis of Karmageddon and based very loosely on Kentucky Fried Movie's A Fistful of Yen, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Enter-Fistful-Marijuana-jay-royston/dp/1499759231" target="_blank">can be found here.</a><br />
<br />
Stoner, Unincorporated, my attempt at an existential love story of sorts, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stoner-Unincorporated-jay-royston/dp/1505414210" target="_blank">can be found here</a>.<br />
<br />
These books, along with my novellas<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mojo4mydojo" target="_blank"> are all available electronically here.</a><br />
<br />
One day I may eat my humble pie and convert all my works to Kindle, to join the masses such as myself on Amazon. I will continue to submit and be rejected, one by one, by big and little publishing houses that continue to raise the bar in terms of acceptance.<br />
<br />
And I understand. For their investments are gambles and the more name recognition, the lesser the gamble. Anyone can google me and they can also review me by what my readers say. It might help, it might not. If you have read anything of mine, please add your thoughts to Goodreads, Amazon, Smashwords etc.<br />
<br />
I chose Smashwords, Createspace and Lulu because I wanted to promote choice and patriotism: Lulu being Canadian, Smashwords and Createspace not being Amazon. Createspace has since been bought by Amazon and converted my works to Kindle as well. That is the way the world works.<br />
<br />
Every sale either makes a difference or prolongs the inevitable.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading, in all manners of the word.<br />
<br />
Jay Royston<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-48962839661712358602019-08-23T16:35:00.002-07:002024-01-28T16:16:01.431-08:00short story start 2076 circa 2013<div class="MsoNormal">
In 2074;</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In what could be considered the greatest tragedy or the
greatest victory for the human race depending on one's pragmatic views 3
nuclear bombs were detonated, destroying Jerusalem (death toll; in the
millions), Vatican City (388 dead) and the Cayman Islands, which created a mass
economic murder as corporations, banks throughout the world lost the 'paper
trail' of assets that were sequestered there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was much bible thumping and Quran throwing however
with each side indicting the other for the mass genocide neither could put up a
strong case as to the organization responsible. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most blamed the United States, except for the United States
who blamed secular terrorist organizations in 48 different countries who all
had links to Al Quaeda which was interesting as the last known Al Quada member
had died of natural causes<a href="file:///C:/Users/Kindale4/Desktop/In%202074.doc#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> in
2049.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the grandparents, long spurned as expendable and
over-nostalgic that tried to remind people of the collective internet-based
group Anonymous. But their postings were drowned out in reruns of the latest editions
of 'So You Think You Are A Thinker' and 'Extreme Bat Fights' on the wall
screens of most nation's homes and public supermarkets. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anonymous was prepared for the backlash. The years of
planning, the conspiracy theories started decades ago, the revenue from their
shares in duct-tape was more than adequate to fund the operation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet even they weren't prepared for the general apathy that
most of civilization displayed after the discovery that the holy trinity of
religions was annihilated to nothing more than radioactive decay. There was a
short burst of general disorder and chaos throughout most nations that again,
thanks to the proliferation of corporate news agencies was summarily censored
and (word to describe mass flaunting) in different parts of the world so that
while Californians were aware of the mass killings of French tourists by sharks
off the coast of Normandy they were blissfully unaware that over 19 million
fellow Californians had disappeared from government data banks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone knew someone who had been killed, yet nobody knew
anybody who made the news, barring a quick one-line throwaway story placed
between the search for the Holy Land Destroyers and another cute story about a
dog and a cat who were best pals. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is where the story begins, at the end of religion.</div>
<br />
<div>
<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><br clear="all" />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<!--[endif]-->
<br />
<div id="ftn1">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/Kindale4/Desktop/In%202074.doc#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> he fell
to his death after he was headbutted off of a rocky crag in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:country-region> by
a unruly mountain goat.</div>
</div>
</div>
Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-31587603048114810692019-08-23T16:32:00.000-07:002020-08-17T18:19:58.812-07:00Kurt Vonnegut rules<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">
<h2 style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
Kurt Vonnegut</h2>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
Eight rules for writing fiction:</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
5. Start as close to the end as possible.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em;">
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.</div>
<div class="hang" style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin: 0.75em 0em; padding-left: 2.5em; text-indent: -2.5em;">
-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, <em>Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction</em> (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999), 9-10.</div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?rinli=1&pli=1&blogID=4279342490906948688" style="color: black; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Kurt Vonnegut: </a><a href="http://literature.sdsu.edu/onWRITING/vonnegutSTYLE.html" style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">How to Write with Style</a></div>
Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-58726668841555617002019-08-23T16:25:00.001-07:002020-08-17T18:19:45.997-07:00Big BOoTY List #15 - Monstrous Regiment#15<br />
<img alt="Image result for monstrous regiment" class="irc_mi" height="369" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/11/Monstrous_regiment.jpg/220px-Monstrous_regiment.jpg" width="220" /><br />
<br />
Needing to slip back into something a little more comfortable, I went for my go-to; Terry Pratchett.<br />
Monstrous Regiment is the story of a country ravaged by war, and the last troop of soldiers to be recruited to head to the front. It has all the stereotypes; the headstrong tougher than nails sergeant, the weaselly, never-seen-action, lieutenant. The troll, the vampire, the Igor, you know, usual Pratchett.<br />
<br />
The main protagonist is a bar-girl and shades of Mulan, pretends to be a man to join the army. The ragtag group of Missfits head towards the front lines where a certain Commander Vimes is waiting to welcome them and hopefully bring some peace to the area. Commander Vimes and his Night Watch feature very little in the book, which is a shame because we all could use a little Nobby.Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-65881877231670775202019-08-23T16:18:00.002-07:002020-08-17T18:19:15.876-07:00Big BOoTY List #14 Galagapos#14 Galagapos<br />
<br />
<img alt="Image result for galapagos vonnegut" class="irc_mi" height="590" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71B68jttiYL.jpg" width="387" /><br />
<br />
I went for a third book of KV's, something I had yet to read. This one is a bit strange in narrative style, and reading his bibliography, it came out about 5 years before Hocus Pocus, which is similar in style but better executed.<br />
<br />
Another 'end of the world' type thing, written 1 million years in the future, looking back at the moments that lead to an evolved human race, which through subtle clues are some type of seal/people. The narrator of the story is a ghost, the son of Kilgore Trout, whom most Vonnegut fans will be familiar with. I would have preferred to know that earlier in the story, which is why maybe that comes as a bit of a spoiler alert but whatever... the book was written in 1985.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-39053669582166655522019-08-23T16:11:00.001-07:002020-08-17T18:19:31.813-07:00Big BOoty List #12 and #13 Sirens of Titan/Mother Night<h2>
<b>Sirens of Titan</b></h2>
<img alt="Image result for sirens of titan" class="irc_mi" height="499" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51NUFfcBTWL._SX309_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="311" /><br />
<br />
Wow. Started strong this year and then Spring happened and all the chores/kids/lawn care/school practicum and things caught up with me, leaving little 'me' time to read anything other than skimming through social media posts.<br />
<br />
But I did re-read this great piece of sarcasm from Kurt Vonnegut; one of his earlier works which generated enough interest for him to continue writing. It also made me want to brush off another work of his I own, Mother Night, and re-read that as well. Two different styles, two great books.<br />
<br />
Sirens of Titan is about a series of events which answer the philosophical question as to 'Why are we here?' It delves into religions, civilizations, space travel, inter-dimensional travel, capitalism and the need for people to believe we are here for some purpose. It turns out we are, but it's not what you might expect.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41V1YAzDcGL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for mother night" border="0" class="irc_mi" height="499" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41V1YAzDcGL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="328" /></a>#13 Mother Night<br />
<br />
After Sirens, I needed more Vonnegut so I went to the bookshelf and pulled out this one, a little find from Parry Sound, childhood home of my wife and little-known hockey legend, Bobby Orr.<br />
<br />
Mother Night is a first person account of Howard Campbell, an American who is awaiting trial in Israel for Crimes Against Humanity and treason sometime in the late 50s. He was a German radio propagandist, working with the German High Command to promote hatred towards Jews and is beloved by American racists and finds himself outed by a white supremacist group which leads to his arrest. He claims he was a spy, working for America in sending secret messages through his broadcasts but the only problem is, he doesn't know who the man was that recruited him.<br />
<br />
The book talks of his life in Germany, the loss of his love and the moments of civility he saw in a time of lunacy. In a brief conversation, his character answers the age-old wannabe writer's question of 'inspiration or dedication?' - does one wait for inspiration to write or simply write every day, no matter what the output may be? I think Vonnegut answers for himself, a hint into his writing style when he says it is dedication, not inspiration.<br />
<br />
Sadly, I have not had that dedication lately.<br />
<br />
<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-26847471551385258162019-04-03T21:50:00.001-07:002019-04-03T21:50:23.423-07:00Big BOoTy List #11 - The Collapse of Parenting<br />
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">Big BOoTy List #11 - The Collapse of Parenting - Dr Sax</span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://img1.od-cdn.com/ImageType-400/6968-1/CF8/21C/FC/%7BCF821CFC-F80A-4D77-8F37-6A6FDDA20343%7DImg400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for the collapse of parenting sax book" border="0" height="320" src="https://img1.od-cdn.com/ImageType-400/6968-1/CF8/21C/FC/%7BCF821CFC-F80A-4D77-8F37-6A6FDDA20343%7DImg400.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
Funnily enough I found this book for my wife as I knew she would love the provocative title and it wasn't until after I read #9, Boys Adrift I found out it was written by the same person.<br />
<br />
Basically, man up, parents. Especially you in the USA. No, the whole world isn't like your kids; your kids are future and current problems caused by parental lack of responsibility, changing social values, lack of ambition, fame-fucking and over-medication.<br />
<br />
Problem is with these type of books, the only ones likely to read them are good parents, not the majority of parents who want to avoid the leadership needed in being a parent first, friend second.Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-73447705266254344262019-04-03T21:42:00.003-07:002019-04-03T21:42:36.040-07:00Big BOoTy List #10 - Night Watch <span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">Big BOoTy List #10 - Night Watch - Terry Pratchett</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51L7pIl7enL._SX319_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for night watch book terry pratchett" border="0" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51L7pIl7enL._SX319_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="205" /></a>Again. This guy is amazing. If you know Discworld, you know that Guards! Guards! is often recommended as a great book to introduce you to the world and dynamics of Ankh-Morpork, the biggest city on Discworld, the flat world which rides on the back of four elephants which are standing on the top of the great space turtle A'Tuin as it swims through the universe.<br />
<br />
Of course you knew that.<br />
<br />
In Guards! Guards! you are introduced to the honourable, yet drunken and cynical Sgt. Samuel Vimes, a City Watch officer who tries his best to do his job, despite the evil that men do. I won't get into it only to say, like many others, it's a must-read.<br />
<br />
In Night Watch, it is many, many years, books and promotions later, Sgt Vimes is now the City Watch Commander and a leading, if unwilling member of high society. Longing for the old days, he takes off in foot pursuit of a man who has killed one of his officers and being Terry Pratchett, magic transports him back in time to what was to become a turning point in the history of the city, full of maniacal leaders, gestapo-like police who 'disappeared people' and most importantly, a young Sam Vimes who has just entered the ranks of the City Watch. Old Sam Vimes now becomes the mentor to his younger self, which makes the brain start to twist.<br />
<br />
Now time travel stories always have their share of plot 'what ifs' and Night Watch is outstanding in this way. Sir Terry does a great job in not making the young Sam/old Sam the main plot, instead concentrating on the main villainy of the times.<br />
<br />
Fun. Great. Heart. Beautiful book.Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-41474991226628359432019-04-03T21:22:00.002-07:002019-04-03T21:42:51.269-07:00Big BOoTy List #9 Boys Adrift<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">Big BOoTy List #9 Boys Adrift by Dr. Leonard Sax</span><br />
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I'm falling behind on my updates! Curses, life... anyways, this is a book about how come 'boys just can't be boys anymore'. It talks about the lack of being outside, binging on the alternate reality of video game worlds, how being the 'provider' to girls/women isn't really a thing anymore, leading to a sort of nancy-boy who doesn't need to go out and make money for the family and the willingness of parents to put their kids on medications instead of adjusting their parenting...<br />
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Just a casual, not overly scientific discussion of the changes in parenting and North American social culture is changing the stereotypical 'boy'.<br />
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I enjoyed it.Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-135601001086784932019-03-02T20:49:00.004-08:002019-03-02T20:49:56.947-08:00Big BOoTy List #8 - The Daily Show, An Oral History<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">The Daily Show - An Oral History</span><br />
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<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51K-sLy4GQL._SX347_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for the daily show book" border="0" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51K-sLy4GQL._SX347_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="223" /></a><br />
One of those 'interview' books that make you feel you are sitting in one giant room with everybody taking turns talking. If you are a fan of the show, you'll enjoy this book.<br />
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It got me thinking of how famous Jon Stewart became and how anonymous the writers are in late night humour; we grew up on Dave, Jay, Conan, these other guys who throw out the jokes and get the fame but like how a quarterback is only as good as his offensive linesmen (can anyone name two of Tom Brady's linesmen?) so many people who work hard for that guy to get fame aren't recognized.<br />
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I do get there is the risk associated with being 'the face' of the show. And this one makes it known that Jon definitely became King of his show as his show rose in respectability lampooning the so-called 'real news'. The Daily Show was a launching pad for talent such as Steve Carrell, Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert, Samantha Bee, Rob Cordry, etc etc.<br />
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There is little controversy in the book - some gossip but nothing you wouldn't expect if one was to write a story about any work environment. The transcripts of some of the show's humourous moments don't really work well for me, perhaps really underlining why those 'faces' are needed to sell the comedy. It doesn't really dig too much into how Jon began interviewing presidents or (something I really respected) his turn towards interviewing and introducing authors to the mainstream of Comedy Central.<br />
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<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-41027144143096949872019-03-02T20:49:00.003-08:002019-04-03T21:52:24.245-07:00Big BOoTy List #7 - Best Laid Plans<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">Best Laid Plans - Terry Fallis</span><br />
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<a href="https://images.randomhouse.com/cover/9780771047589" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for best laid plans fallis" border="0" height="400" src="https://images.randomhouse.com/cover/9780771047589" width="258" /></a> In an effort to 'Canadianize' myself more with national authors, I picked 'One Brother Shy' by Terry Fallis from my local library back in the Fall. It was the story of a brother who finds out he has a twin and they reunite through modern technology. It was a good book but seeing as this BOoTY list is for 2019, I'm not counting it.<br />
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However, I did discover that Mr. Fallis had won the Leacock award (awarded to best Canadian humour novel) in 2011 and even better, he did it by self-publishing! Now there was an encouraging story for me and <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/jay-royston/karmageddon/paperback/product-23891945.html" target="_blank">Karmageddon</a>, available now.<br />
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I ordered Best Laid Plans and also contacted Mr. Fallis for advice and inspiration on how he experienced the self-publishing route. He chose to make BLP into a podcast and created interest that way. In all honesty, I know what a podcast is but have yet to engage in it. It seems like a good idea if you spend a lot of time in public transit but I digress.<br />
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When his book made the short-list for the Leacocks, he received a call from a book agent who offered to take him on and the rest was history. He also strongly stated that it was so much better having a book publisher behind him than going the difficult and lonely self-publishing route to which I fully agree but I don't have a book agent calling me yet.<br />
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I thanked him and waited for the book, curious and anxious to see why this book won a major award without the support of any major Canadian publishing house.<br />
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And here it is, the seventh book of 2019.<br />
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First, it is good and well-deserving of the Leacock. There is no way I would guess it as being self-published.<br />
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Yet...was this the final product? Or is this after a publisher bought it, sent it through their editorial departments?<br />
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To be clear, I really enjoyed this book. It's for a very specific audience. To me, the book re-enforced a stereotype I have of the 'Canadian reader'. That stereotype is a person who reads Farley Mowatt and Alice Munro while sipping on an imported beer or white wine sitting in their cottage overlooking 'the lake'. It's a beautiful image, one I think every writer aspires to be. I am no exception yet it made me realize that is not the audience I am writing for and if that is true, then perhaps entering <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/jay-royston/karmageddon/paperback/product-23891945.html" target="_blank">Karmageddon </a>into the Leacock Awards was a mistake.<br />
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Best Laid Plans is centered on Federal politics, has university-educated protagonists, call-outs to proper English usage and centers on the older-50 crowd. There's an element of sexual depravity in there and also romance, both old and new. All of it is handled beautifully and diary entries help to create that second point of view of the B story. It's not heavy-handed which is what makes it so good. It's Canadian and gossipy; due to Mr. Fallis' time in politics it's not hard to imagine there is some general subtext between the lines.<br />
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I could see why he won the award; the humour is more of overall context than situational. It is distinctly Eastern Canadian yet the setting of Parliament is inclusive of us all.<br />
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I can't see this book being enjoyed by younger Canadians who have no interest in government which I guess is my only criticism. The only two young characters are university students who dress like anarchists yet are the only volunteers for the political candidate. It relies heavily on the reader being educated and politically conscious which sadly re-enforces the my own biased view that award-winning books aren't meant for those just struggling to get through this thing called Life...<br />
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<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279342490906948688.post-82727805087057575672019-02-14T15:26:00.001-08:002019-04-03T21:29:43.954-07:00Big BOoTY List #6 Carpe Jugulum<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">#6 Carpe Jugulum Terry Pratchett</span><br />
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I found this rare Discworld find at a used book store a few weeks ago. Rare, as in I NEVER find any Pratchetts at Value Village, Sally Ann's or any other used book stores I go to. Pratchetts have always been rare in my neck in the woods.<br />
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<a href="https://pratchettjob.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/carpe-jugulum-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for carpe jugulum" border="0" height="320" src="https://pratchettjob.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/carpe-jugulum-2.jpg" width="192" /></a>After reading 'Going Postal' I needed a bit more of this man's hilarity in my life and while I might have this book in my soft-cover collection, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to buy a hard-cover edition at $8.<br />
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For those that know Pratchett and Discworld, this is a Granny Weatherwax story, a semi-recurring character in Discworld. She is a witch and perhaps one of the strongest personalities in all of Pratchett's tales.<br />
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The King of Lancre has married Magrat, the youngest of the three witches and a Granny protege. In a misguided attempt at diplomacy he has invited all the neighbouring countries dignitaries to the naming of their first child. Unfortunately, this includes the rather forward-thinking Magpyr family, who happen to be vampires.<br />
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<i>And it embarrasses me to acknowledge that as i read that sentence, I realize Magpyr rhymes with vampire; so it is the Vampire Magpyrs. Pratchett is full of wonderful finds like this.</i><br />
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The Magpyrs are an aristocratic clan with their own family issues; Dad has taken great lengths to 'climatize' his kids to all those generic vampire cruxes. The vampire kids grew up with garlic pillows, they've been exposed to small amounts of daylight, their castle is decorated with all the holy symbols of the land. But not all is well in the Magpyr family; their daughter rebels by hanging out with other vampire teens and renaming themselves; Laciemosa is now Tracey; Grendell is Alan who plays at being an accountant, etc.<br />
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Anyways, the Magpyrs take over the castle and all of Lancre; they look at the people as 'walking food' and have put everyone under their spell, barring Granny Weatherwax and Agnes, a bi-split personality who is all fat on the outside but her inner voice is ruled by Perdita, a skinny bitch with an attitude.<br />
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Carpe Jugulum is full of strong female personalities; another great Pratchettism; he is wonderful with the lore of covens and witches, has a great knowledge of the tropes of vampirism and the practicalities of Igors and Phoenix.<br />
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There are just too many great side characters here as well; from Igor to Hodgesarrgh; the royal bird trainer. Awesome book.<br />
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<br />Editor In Chiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01151242100794096936noreply@blogger.com0